90 YEARS OF PRINCE PHILIP

You may not know this, but Ole Tondar likes to run his mouth ("I DON'T HAVE PANCAKES! I DON'T HAVE PANCAKES!"). But at least Tondar has not yet been placed on the world stage. Check out these 90 "gaffes" of Prince Philip from the Independent. Here are some of my favorites...

18. "If it has four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." Said to a World Wildlife Fund meeting in 1986.

23. "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat,which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" In a Radio 4 interview shortly after the Dunblane shootings in 1996. He said to the interviewer off-air afterwards: "That will really set the cat among the pigeons, won't it?"

37. "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease." On a visit to Australia in 1992, when asked if he wanted to stroke a koala bear.

44. "So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs." To a 14-year-old member of a Bangladeshi youth club in 2002.

74. "If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested." Of his daughter, Princess Anne.

75. "They're not mating are they?" Spotting two robots bumping in to one another at the Science Museum in 2000.

78. "It looks like a tart's bedroom." On seeing plans for the Duke and then Duchess of York's house at Sunninghill Park.

81. "Bugger the table plan, give me my dinner!" Showing his impatience to be fed at a dinner party in 2004.

RICHARDS RAGE IN VERO BEACH, FL

From James...

"During the approximate (eight) phone calls, Lionel spoke of the CIA and how he wanted the (police) to pay for his room at the Oceanaire Motel," an affidavit states.

Police say Johnson, encountered in an alleyway behind the motel, told "stories about the CIA hiring him as an undercover agent and told the (police) officers present that they were 'sexy.'"

"Suddenly he lifted a glass bottle covered with a brown paper bag out of his back pack, unscrewed the cap and took a drink from it," the affidavit states.

The bottle was one of Wild Irish Rose, an economy fortified wine unlikely to be found at some of the world's finest restaurants.

Made of a blend of Labrusca and Vinifera grapes, Wild Irish Rose can belionel_johnson_side.jpg mixed with Faygo grape soda in a libation known as "Purple Jesus #3," according to a brand reference sheet and drinksmixer.com.

The thing about Richard's Rage Watch is that for the most part it usually didn't include Richard's Wild Irish Rose. I can't say that this is any more bizarre than some of the other things that have made the news over the years. What is interesting is the way the story actually informed the reader about Richard's.

For ole Tondar, I actually haven't had any Richard's for about a year (Kentucky 2010). These days, I am drinking mostly beer and Spanish brandy. After reading this story, I do have a bit of an urge to ride the snake once again. However, for a father of 2 little girls, that's just too much of a bad idea, even for the Destroyer.

#insert Frank derision here#

CAN'T TRUST THAT HERMAN CAIN

Many political observers on the right believe the best way to counter the criehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifs of racism that emerge from every cornered Democrat is find somebody immune to the characterization. For this and his conservative views, many people believe that Herman Cain should be the Republican nominee for president. However, before jumping on the bandwagon, you should read this piece by Vox Day on the false hope of Herman Cain.

Most curious about Mr. Cain is the fact that he once chaired the Kansas City Federal Reserve. Considering that it has just recently been revealed that the Fed secretly loaned money to European bank,

Credit Suisse Group AG (CS), Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS) and Royal Bank of Scotland Group Plc (RBS) each borrowed at least $30 billion in 2008 from a Federal Reserve emergency lending program whose details weren’t revealed to shareholders, members of Congress or the public.

The $80 billion initiative, called single-tranche open- market operations, or ST OMO, made 28-day loans from March through December 2008, a period in which confidence in global credit markets collapsed after the Sept. 15 bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc.

Herman Cain should not be taken seriously until he condemns these actions by his former employee. It has been the reckless policies of the banks and the Federal Reserve that directly caused the economic crisis (or depression, depending on your view). It has been policies of malinvestment in real estate and over-leveraging by banks that has brought the economy to the brink of disaster. For a presidential candidate to be serious about correcting the crisis he or she must first understand the origins. So far the only candidate that is doing so is Ron Paul.

WE NEED MORE MEL GIBSON

As I write this, I am attempting to download the end of Mel Gibson's latest movie, Edge of Darkness. While watching the film, I enjoyed it. But in retrospect it's pretty much a rehashed combination of Conspiracy Theory, The Patriot, and Payback, not that there is anything wrong with that. Mel Gibson movies have a certain swagger and intelligence that seems missing in today's films.

The sad part is that due to Gibson's unfortunate comments, self-destructive behavior, and an over-blown battle with Jewish Americans over the intent of The Passion, his career and ability to make and star in movies has been diminished. The sad part is that Gibson is the only one held to this higher standard. Charlie Sheen can repeatedly and delightfully hit rock bottom. Sean Penn can cozy up to the most prominent dictator of our day, yet in the end they are allowed to work. People don't care about their crazy streaks. Their work is allowed to stand on its own.

What Gibson needs now more than anything is a comeback statement movie. In the tradition of Rocky VI and Indy 4, we need a Mad Max 4. This is the perfect vehicle to revitalize his career. Something where the Man With No-Name has been wasting away in a post-apocalyptic prison. He then escapes to become the savior of a New Australia, which would nicely wrap up the series.

ROCKIN THE EARLY BIRD TREAT

Now that Dr. Wife has started going to work before 6. I often try to get up with her and get a jump on my day. For the last 4 weeks, the Big Ten Network has been showing Michigan games at 6am. However, before we get all excited, it should be noted that for the first 3 weeks, it was all about Michigan hate. It's amazing that the BTN can repeatedly find the losses for the winningest program in college football history. Things started the week of the MSU game with UM vs. MSU in the notorious clock game of 2001. On the day of the Iowa game, they dug up Michigan's debacle of 2003. The following week, during a bye, they even pulled up the 2005 Little Brown download featuring Minnesota's unstoppable draw plays. Right now in anticipation of today's PSU game, they are showing the Nitany Lion overtime thriller from 2002. The nice thing about this game is that I missed it the first time around since I was visiting Pigpen in the UP. But unlike the last 3 weeks, this is a game Michigan will go on to win 27-24.

I am not sure who the Buckeye at the BTN is that motivates them to repeatedly poop on Michigan every Saturday. But it's nice that they can find it in their heart to let us see one of Big Blue's 882 wins.

THE DECLINE AND FALL OF TDR

With the return of the Michigan Zone, it has become time to address the issue of "Hey, wha happened?" to the Daily Rant. After all, the Michigan Zone went underground about the time Michigan was winding up to being a 3-11 season. The slow decline of TDR on the other hand, has been like the Byzantium of blogs (without all the eyes getting gauged out). And while this is not a grand announcement of a comeback, it is an explanation with an eye on hope and the future.

Things here started winding down in 2007 when I first started working in mortgage origination. From there I moved on to working long hours back in the foreclosure game in Tennessee, Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi, and sometimes the dreaded Louisiana. After that, the life mistakes (as Frank calls them) started piling up as I fell in love and started having kids. So for the last 3 years, when I wasn't working, my time has been devoted more towards reading and playing video games. The higher life of higher thoughts and contemplation had been pushed aside. Who has time for commentary when dealing with a wife and an endless production of dirty diapers?

Going forward, I would like to spend more time writing. I'm not sure if this will happen or what form that writing may take. For one thing, I would like to chronicle the next few years going forward as our nation faces a depression. Also, I would also like to write more on art as I was able to do back in 2006.

For now, don't expect a comeback as glorious as the MZone. But also, dont forget about TDR. This isn't our 1453, just our 1204.

5 YEARS AND $50 LATER: DOOM 3

I bought Doom 3 years ago when I was living in Atlanta and had a Friday whim to drink Rolling Rock and get my gaming on. Of course, I did not have a computer worthy of Id's latest technology, so after a weekend of attempting to play, the game was set aside for more NBA Live 2003, and NCAA Football 2003. At the beginning of July, Angela used the rest of her 2009 education money to buy me a new computer. With 5 years of extra technology, I was finally able to fire up that bad boy and chase down that Cyber-demon.

Boy was that disappointing.

For ole Tondar, Doom II was one of the greatest games ever made because of the multitude of weapons, chaos, and cross-fires that could be formed. There were plenty of demons and plenty of wide open spaces where Marine could run around. It was like 30 levels of an unholy hunting preserve. Unfortunately, Doom 3 missed the boat on this fun.

The game has a very specific linear path that must be followed as the Marine fights from one tight, dark space to another. Of course, once started, I did have to complete my crusade, lest I be reduced to a vegetable trapped in the limbo of my mind, wondering if I did not have the moxie to obliterate the Cyber-Demon of the 21st Century. And once he was vanquished, I stumbled upon this perfect review of the game by The Spoony Experiment. Money Quote:

Oh, you're given a flashlight. I bet the developers thought they were really clever in giving you that one pittance, because you'll basically have to carry that flashlight out all the damn time just to see where you're going. Then you'll see a monster, fumble for your gun, and promptly find yourself unable to see again. So you'll aim your gun roughly in the direction you think the monster's at, guess, pray, and panic fire endlessly until you think it's dead. The entire game is a pointless back-and-forth transition from flashlight to gun, because evidently in the year 2145, marines working on a Martian base with notoriously bad light haven't been assigned weapons with lights on them. Nor have they mastered the use of duct tape to affix a flashlight on the end of their weapons. Or uh...just kind of hold the flashlight up against your weapon while firing it. But no, you're either holding the flashlight or a weapon, routinely getting slapped around by everything you can't see. And so you're stuck wandering around the entire game where the lighting is flickering, dim, or nonexistent, getting wailed on by everyone hiding where you can't see them.

AND IT GOES ON FOR HOURS LIKE THIS!!!

STARKILLER/TIMEKILLER

We all know that George Lucas was the Saturn that ate his own Star Wars babies. Now while 20th Century Fox permits, roll on over to Starwarz and check out the original scripts. Most interesting are the original drafts of Empire Strikes Back and Revenge of the Jedi. The latter is particularly interesting because Ben and Yoda come back to life for the final showdown with the emperor. I can't really decide if one story is better. But it is always fun to ponder alternate history.

Thank you interwebs for eating more of our time.

PIC OF THE DAY


Gotta love that suit!

PIC OF THE DAY

Who's YOUR Daddy?

2001: EXPLAINED

Ever see "2001: A Space Odyssey" and couldn't get your head around it? Don't worry, you are not the only one. Well, if you have some time, this lengthy article will blow your mind as to how amazing that movie really is. It's definitely joined my top 10 after reading Jay Weidner's essay.

OH MY

It seems the Tondar message of liberty has rubbed off on those he knows.

BABY YOUTUBE OF THE WEEK

So it's been a while, but that doesn't mean that the Youtube Train doesn't roll through Tondarville. These days, the latest thing has been showing videos to that naughty baby. One video in particular has that baby signing for an encore several times a day...



This video is requested with a sideswipe of that babypaw and a "Rawr," and is always met with enthusiastic "Wow," "Bear," "Rawr," and "Yeah!" Probably the funniest part is that she now believes that Winnie the Pooh says "Rawr" like other bears that may or may not fly through space playing hockey.

SOLVING UNEMPLOYMENT

If unemployment was such a major issue for Obama, instead of proposing another stimulus, wouldn't he seek to open up more jobs for those unemployed Americans? Pat Buchanan points out the backwards logic of continuing to leave the borders open for immigration. Not only would increased illegal-immigrant raids provide more jobs for federal regulators, it would also allow more Americans to take back the "jobs Americans won't do." However, this would unfortunately siphon tax money away from the unions and Obama's special interests like ACORN and SEIU.