Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Friday, June 27, 2003

DESPERADO REVISTED

To prepare for the new Eagles album which is due out later this year featuring their new song "Hole In The World," I busted out 1973's Desperado. I haven't listened to this album in a while but I was surprised at how good it still is. It's their most country album but it also does a great job of rocking out on "Certain Kind Of Fool" and "Outlaw Man" and tenderly slowing things down with the songs "Desperado" and "Doolin-Dalton." Though it's not their best album it's still a very solid listen.
SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN KNOCKED UP!

One of the girls at the office is currently out on maternity leave. Well a group of my coworkers have taken it up themselves to slowly trash her cubicle over the time that she will be gone. From rubberbands, and paperclips to balls of scrap-paper Captain Maternity Leave will have plenty to do when she returns.
OH KRUGMAN!

I'm not sure what is worse the contempt or paranoia that has completely gripped Paul Krugman and saturated his writing. In the words of Bill O'Reiley, "This guy's outta control."

Thursday, June 26, 2003

MORE ON BOLINGER

Here's another great column from the Washington Post about the UM affirmative action cases. It's a good breakdown of the lack of logic behind Justice O'Connor's opinion. If you want to reach an illogical conclusion then you have to think illogically. That is real truth behind affirmative action.
BAD PERSON

"I come to your planet in search of nourishing BRAINS." But seriously, isn't that your ex-girlfriend James? Of course it's a zombie version that hasn't slept since 1997, but still looks pretty close to me.
RIGHT WING NUT

This "view" from FOXNEWS was rather dissapointing. It is supposed to be an editorial but it rambles on to attack people that enjoy art and accuses them of being against the war on terror because they were so bothered by the museum looting in Baghdad. The author uses very flawed logic to group art lovers and Bush-haters together in an extreme right wing manifesto style rantation. This is especially true when she talks about "them," as if there is an international conspiracy by those that know the difference between Monet and Manet to destroy the United States. She also goes on to attack people that enjoy traveling as lacking imagination. As an art lover, traveler, and supporter of the president, I like to think that I have a good imagination and I think the Monkey Republic would agree. Though the author did have a good point that lives are more important than pottery, it somehow gets lost in a haze of her own ramblings. Probably the worse part is that it's nutjobs like this that give conservatives and Foxnews a bad name.

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

ANDREW SULLIVAN ON THE EU

Once again Andrew Sullivan has a brilliant summary of an important current event. This time he takes on European unification and the USE's desire to form a political counter-weight to American power. This could lead to a potentially dangerous situation especially if it becomes necessary for America to flex its military might or bring peace to a troubled region (remember how helpful the EU was in Kosovo and Yugoslavia). All future European diplomacy may have to go through the old Europe Axis of Berlin, Paris, and Brussels instead of reliance on allies in London and Warsaw. This does not bode well considering the degree of anti-Americanism and anti-semitism in old Europe.
DAS HOLIDAY ROAD

My friend Julia is from Germany and she is currently on an American style roadtrip. Here is what she has to report...

"we just arrived in San Francisco tonight...we are staying at my friend"S friend house..it"S great..we got some German dinner which we really misse!..and we"ll get a nice room with htick carpet to sleep on..that"S niv\ce after a night in the car!!!

Well, we are traveling around for 5 weeks..We started in Houston, Texas drove through Phoenix, Flaggstaff, Canyon the Chelly, Walnut Canyon, Monument Valley, Las VEgas, LA, Santa Barbara, Monterey adn now San Francisco..I"m really excited about SF cuz I always wanted to come here!!!

I"ll get to GR on July 17th..I"ll take the greyhound from Chicago..I hope I"ll make it to GR the same day..I looked at the schedule and it said that there were several buses leaving taht day..."

Hmmmm really "excited about SF?" Taking the greyhound from Chicago? I once took the greyhound from Chicago and a massive black woman accused me of calling her a goat. This was right before the busdriver pulled over and seperated me and my friends for "talkin' crazy ever since she gotondabus." Well good luck with that! Hopefully Julia will be able to pick up some calming phrases while she's in the birthplace of ebonics (the Bay Area).
PROFILE OF IRAN

Here is some interesting background information that gives a Giancolian account of the current situation in Iran. The most interesting part is the demographic makeup. Due to a forced babyboom from the theocratic government, revolution is being fostered by the same group that was created by the Ayatollah himself. How about that for irony? Also one would think that the Islamic theocracies would learn a lesson from Calvin and Martin Luther. This same system of government didn't work for christianity so why would it work for Islam?
HERE WE GO AGAIN

First it was Michael Jackson and now it's Eminem.
NOT MY MONKEYS

It should be known that all citizens of the Monkey Republic of the Love Grotto are accounted for, and not misbehaving. Also Philosopher King Mr. Mojo has condemned these bitings as "bad monkeys bes mean. People good. Mojo love peoples lot."
WHY NOT PUERTO RICO?

Oh yeah, because you DIE! Ever wonder why college kids don't run off to Puerto Rico for spring break? This may have something to do with it.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

ELECTION OF 1864

Politics haven't changed much in 140 years. Even during the days of Lincoln there were close elections, violations of civil rights by the Republican president, and questions about the patriotism of Democrats. It's good to know that actually little changes over the years.
NANCY LOOKIN' FOR HOBO LOVE

From Seth...
In other news, we had a bum on the porch last night who Nancy was being
drunk-friendly with. He was hitting on Cat - so Nate got a bit up in his
face but was civil enough to make him leave...... until...... Nancy strikes!

See ol' deuchebag wanted his pungent new butt-buddy to go away with happy
feelings towards him and the house so Nancy took it upon himself to keep
being friendly. Needless to say, Nancy is bad at being the leader.

Well, everyone else hid inside and a couple of us went out there to tell the
guy to leave... Nancy's bum was getting pretty touchy by this point. He
walked away once then came right back. So finally, everyone's had enough and
Cat calls the cops while the bum (who now is telling Nancy he was just
frontin' and that Nancy is full of shit an' don't wanna jus' chill, yo)
keeps threatening to kick someone's ass. He tried to walk down the street
but Nancy kept getting in his way being apologetic.

At this point, someone remarks, "I understand the guy, you know, he's been
on the street for three years."

So Nancy's friend Brian responds, "Yeah, and Eric's been in the closet for
like five."

Well, the boys in blue finally make their appearance and take the smelly
thing off our hands. Eric is now pissed at us, saying sarcastically, "thanks
for being understanding, guys," then got right up in Cat's face and told her
to "fuck off, bitch." He even told off Yao (who he'd been hitting on all
night) and swore he'd kill Miguel for saying earlier that he wished we had a
tranquilizer dart for Nancy. Poor Nancy. His bum was sent off in huff about
not liking us "haters" while all of his friends sat around telling him what
a deuchebag he was.

During much of these goings on, I was just informed that the disciple Tom
and a few others were apparently right behind the front door, keeping Gayson
from attacking.

See, J had gone to bed two hours earlier but came back out in just his
boxers asking if the bum wanted the brain. He had to be physically held back
from showing his nuts to the good people of East William. Later in the
evening, the Troll escaped again (still in the skivvies) and while standing
on the front porch, the boxers came down and Yao got a great full frontal.

GO BLUE RACISM

Yesterday the Supreme Court handed down rulings in the 2 Bolinger/University of Michigan affirmative action cases. Tondar and Bill O'Reilly were both dissapointed in the outcomes. If they want a diverse group of smart people that can overcome adversity then universities need to pick people that come from poor backgrounds. What good is affirmative action for Michael Jordans' or Colin Powells' children? In addition, George Will of the Washington Post also raises the point that race is a constantly changing problem. America is no longer black and white. There are hundreds of shades of diversity in between. Since the university only gives preference to blacks, hispanics, and natives, does this mean that only these groups are handicapped and incapable of surviving in a competitive America? Also what does the Supreme Court and UM plan to do when diversity has more interracially mixed groups? How black is black 100%? 50%? 33.33%? 12.345% At what point does the high court realize how absurd of a determinant race truly is? The court wants all Americans to be equal but yesterdays ruling shows that some Americans are more equal than others.

Monday, June 23, 2003

JAMES 1, PLAGUE GIRL 1

Friday night we were at a classic Ann Arbor party and James met a classic Ann Arbor girl. The craziness started when she stole his cell phone to enter her own name into the phonebook. This would have been a good thing if she hadn't proclaimed "I am just getting over Strep-throat and Mono!" At this James became completely disgusted so he found a bottle of rubbing alcohol and cleaned his cell phone and arms (to the elbow). As if this wasn't enough she offered to watch James' beer while he was in the bathroom. When he returned she had dumped oyster sauce into it. This is a great example why you cannot date girls from the University of Michigan.
IN CASE YOU COULDN'T TELL, YES WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

JAMES 1, PLAGUE GIRL 1

Friday night we were at a classic Ann Arbor party and James met a classic Ann Arbor girl. The craziness started when she stole his cell phone to enter her own name into the phonebook. This would have been a good thing if she hadn't proclaimed "I am just getting over Strep-throat and Mono!" At this James became completely disgusted so he found a bottle of rubbing alcohol and cleaned his cell phone and arms (to the elbow). As if this wasn't enough she offered to watch James' beer while he was in the bathroom. When he returned she had dumped oyster sauce into it. This is a great example why you cannot date girls from the University of Michigan.
ROBOT FRANK STRIKES AGAIN

Have you been here lately?
GOOD SITE

What about this one?
NEW COWORKER NOT HOT

Quiet girl was finally replaced today. However, Tondar is very dissapointed because the word on the street was that New Girl was young. Well, yes she is young but she also looks like she has canned hams shoved down her pants. Sure she seems like a nice girl but I am still dissapointed that she's not a hottie.
BARRY STRIKE BACK AT NYTIMES

Dave Barry of the Miami Herald has a great editorial on how newspapers "really" work. It got a chuckle out of me so check it out.
DEMOCRATS LOSING IT

This is an editorial from the Weekly Standard about how the democrats have gone over the top and lost it. It's an excellent study in what happens to the minority party and the warped reality of the self-proclaimed powerless. Keep in mind that since President Bush has been so demonized by the media and close election of 2000 that he has actually been driven left. How else can you explain his support for Ted Kennedys' education bill and perscription drug add on for medicare?
RETRO-QUOTE OF THE WEEK

April 11, 200: Big Tiff--I have PMS and Ive been eating chocolate ALL DAY!