Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Friday, July 11, 2003

SAINT OF THE DAY

Read about St. Benedict and focus on the words.
BILL O'REILLY ON TAXES

Obviously the tax cuts were not for the rich, yet democrats still oppose them for all americans. Bill O'Reilly brings some perspective to the debate.
1984 WATCH

The PC Police struck again. This time a student at Cal Poly is being punished for putting up flyers advertising a speech by a black conservative. Some people found this offensive, and thus the weight of the university was brought down upon this student for a completely legal exercise of his right to free speech. This is a very frightening path that is leading to an Orwellian Nightmare.
IMAGINARY KID II

The investigation is continuing into the woman with the made-up kid. The ineptitude of the state is becoming apparent as they still have not found a way to make any charges stick. Here is what the investigation has turned up so far:

--The suspect used to live in an upstairs apartment with her 2 kids (1 real 1 not). The landlord only knows of the mom and one kid. However, there are three people on the lease. This is very weird considering the imaginary kid is disabled and "in a wheelchair" and their apartment was not anywhere close to being handicapped accessable.

--The suspect has ignored all requests to produce the child without any penalty to her.

--The imaginary child was enrolled in kindergarten even though nobody there has ever seen the child.

--The suspect has been referred to fraud officials who referred her to child protective services for "endangering the child." However, this was somehow referred to a voluntary counsling program where the suspect refused help.

Everyday, her web of lies is unraveling further however, the state is powerless to stop her. Soon she will need money to move. Can you guess where she is going to go for help? Can you guess who is going to give her even more of your tax dollars?
THE ONLY CURE IS MORE COWBELL

Sure it was one of the funniest skits in SNL history, but once again some dorks have taken it too far. Check out their homage to the rockin' clang of the cowbell.
WORTH A CHUCKLE

Here's 171 photos of Ron Jeremy dressed up as Super Mario. Sure, why not.
ALBUM REVIEW OF THE DAY

Journey: Trial By Fire--1996

This album reunited Journey's classic lineup which had not produced an album since 1983's "Frontiers" (Steve Perry had fired part of the band for 1986's "Raised On Radio"). This album would have been a great comeback album if the band would have been allowed to tour and promote its sales and songs. It contains the hit song "When You Love a Woman" as well as several other songs that could easily have been hits ("Message of Love," "Forever In Blue," "If He Should Break Your Heart"). Though the album is heavy on ballads, it is still solid. Steve Perry's song writing has a maturity that combines with Neal Schon's delicate guitar playing to create a very beautiful album. Especially after the release of 2001's "Arrival" we see what a great songwriter Perry truly was. However, be warned, this is not like the classic Journey Albums of the 70's and 80's (or even "Arrival"). Still, it is a very solid album that reflects the mature direction the band would have taken if it weren't for the new singer (and inferior songwriting) and classic revival of the late 90's under new lead singer Steve Augeri.

Tondars rating: ****
All Music rating: *1/2
ASTRONOMY WATCH

Scientists have discovered a massive planet, twice the size of Jupiter, orbiting a pulsar and a white dwarf 5,600 light years away. It was formed about 13 billion years ago, making it the oldest planet ever found. Truly science non-fiction at its best. My question is, when are we going to get off our butts and start exploring and colonizing?
HISTORY FOUND

At the Harry Truman Library several books were found to contain his own personal journal. Among the most interesting twists were Truman's plan for the election of 1948 and some strange comments about the emerging Jewish State. It seems that Truman wanted Eisenhower to run for president as a democrat in 1948 and he would be Ike's running mate. This was a calculated move to prevent the popular Douglas MacArthur from winning as a Republican. Truman also goes on to refer to the White House as a "great white jail."

Thursday, July 10, 2003

ANY DRUG BILL BETTER THAN NONE?

Monday, Robert Novak took a look at the paradox of the medicare perscription drug plan that the President is trying to ram through Congress, damn the consequences. It seems that the House Republicans are demanding free market reforms and options in their version while the senate insists on no free market. Right now conference committees are trying to work out a compromise but according to Novak the situation is very paradoxical. If I were in Congress I would not vote for this massive entitlement to be placed on taxpayers at all. I would be in favor of a plan that completely revolutionizes social security with free market options, but I would not even vote for the current House version.
TYRANNY IN TEHRAN

Yesterday a major anti-government protest was called off in Iran for fear that the government would massacre its own citizens. In addition, to this threat the government also rounded up several dissidents from Tehran University. Look at these photos and these, taken afterwards. WARNING--They are very graphic and not to be seen at work (at least not with anybody around). It is only a matter of time before the population does rise up in revolt. In an age of mass communication, atrocities like this will not be swept under the rug and forgotten. With Americans on their Western and Eastern borders, a second Iranian Revolution is just around the corner. It is only a matter of time before enough of these kinds of images force the population to a boiling point.

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

PEAK INTO HELL

My job is a logistical mess. For example here is the process for adding a newborn baby to a mothers medicaid case.

1. Member add: Here I enter all the statistics about the new born from birthdate to income to student status to skin color.

2. Add a Program: Here I tell the computer that I want to add somebody to the existing medicaid case. I then must reenter the above information.

3. Initial interview: Before I can turn on the medicaid I must go through a review of the data I entered in steps 1 and 2.

4. FPOS: This is the actual activation of the new borns medicaid

5. FNEG: This is command needed to turn off the mothers medicaid now that she is no longer pregnant.

6. Interim/historical change: Here I must review the data from steps 1-3 removing the information regarding the mother pregnancy so I am not sent an obnoxious letter every month.

This is why government jobs suck.
ANTI-HUMAN ENVIRONMENTALISTS

There's a group of people out there that want to stop human exploration of space for a variety of reasons. However, how much do these people really hate humanity instead of what man is going to do to space? International ownership of the moon is a great idea for the world of Star Trek but in reality the U.S. needs to cash in while we remain the only power capable of putting men on its surface. Sharing is for communists and people that have siblings!
CD REVIEW OF THE DAY

Moody Blues: Seventh Sojourn--1972

This is the last of the Moody Blues' first 7 albums. The original concept for this album was a loose association with Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. However, it actually reveals the seperate directions in which the band members were moving after 5 years of huge success. John Lodge contributes two of the bands' best songs with "Isn't Life Strange" and the rocker "I'm Just a Singer In a Rock and Roll Band." After completing this album the band broke up for 5 years. Justin Hayward was coping with the death of his father, which inspired the beautiful song "New Horizons" which has a great guitar slo in the bridge. Mike Pinder on the other hand, had just married an American and he wanted to spend more time with her. His contributions are solid but don't seem to have the focus that his earlier songs had. However, his piano playing on "I'm Just a Singer" really drives the foot-tapping rhythim. There was a great deal of tension during the recording of this album, but that has given its eclectic blend of songs more staying power than their ealier psychadelic albums. Many songs from this album remain staples of their live show even today.

Tondars rating: ****1/2
All Music rating: ***
BUSH OF THE COMMON MAN

Many of the Bush-haters were upset over his "Bring em on" comment last week. Personally I think this was a great idea and comment because it totally changes the battlefield for the war on terror. Instead of trying to blow up businessmen in NYC or officials in Washington the Muslim world can now ship its Mujahadin and resources of evil to Iraq to fight our soldiers. Of course it is sad when everyday more service men and women are being killed. But it is far better that it is happening half a world away in their backyard instead of here in America where they would instead be killing their favorite targets, innocent women and children. Bush refuses to complicate the war on terror by listening to his liberal critics. Instead his tough-guy approach is building support with the common man and giving the Muslim world an outlet for its anger. Check out this article, it's really worth reading.
UNION PROPAGANDA CAN SUCK IT

Every month our family gets three copies of that damn Solidarity UAW propaganda magazine. My dad worked for GM for 30 years and by some odd twist of fate that nobody really knows the Dark Lord and I are UAW members down at the welfare office. Of course nobody in our family reads the damn thing, but you can be REAL certain that we pay for our copy. They usually end up in the recycling bin with Big Ed exclaiming, "At least it's not another bill." Well I guess I am not the only one with this problem. Check out what Lileks has to say about his union paper.
marketing to the X-TREME

Ever wonder why so many products are suddenly X-treme? Maddox takes a look at this trend and learns a valuable lesson about "in your face" marketing. Oh yeah!
HOMER SIMPSON'S ZOO

Whats the best part about being a zoo keeper? All the exotic BBQ you can eat. MMMMM, miniature horses *gulp*
EASY PICKINS FOR HIGH BIGGUNS

A few weekends ago James was telling me about a man high on butane that ended up eating his own toes. Well a few hours after he told us this story he was cornered by a biggun that was huffing butane out of her lighter and then blowing fireballs. She had to have been in highschool and as soon as she saw James she fell in love. She spent the better part of the night following him around. On the other hand. we spent the better part of the night making fun of her for huffing butane. Nothing like a highschool girl high on butane hanging on your everyword (blarg).
DAS HOLIDAY ROAD II

Julia is still visiting from Germany. Here is what she had to say from the holiday road...
"The road trip is going fine so far..we are in Denver, Colorado now...we slept at a rest area last night..next to traintracks..together with a bunch of truckers..:o)...we went to Mt Rushmore yesterday and we were pretty disappointed..the heads are A LOT smaller than we thought they would be!...oh well, we took a picture of them anyways.."

I'm not sure what's up with her and the truckers but other than that it sounds like she is having the typical "trip out-west."

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

BUCHANAN ON THE COURT

Pat Buchanan has an interesting break down of the modern American political system. He contends that Congress has abdicated all power to the President and the Supreme Court to ensure job and national security. This allows the court to rule outside the Constitution and pull rulings (such as Lawrence) out of thin air.
WORST SECRET EVER!

Well the cat's officially outta the bag. Britney has been porked. All I have to say is DUH!
1984 TODAY

George Orwell's 1984 is a masterpiece of a staterun world where thought is policed and freedom restricted using a variety of techniques. Wendy McElroy has a view for FOXNEWS that the recent affirmative action rulings from the Supreme Court are part of a transition to this Orwellian Nightmare. Check out her analysis of the language of diversity. The similarities are quite frigthening.
THIS DAY IN TONDAR HISTORY

It was early in the morning July 8, 2000, when Tondar became a man. That was the morning I ran with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. It's an old tradition popularized by Earnest Hemmingway. This took place at 8am while Saioa was hooking up with some French guy that didn't speak English, and Julene was in an ATM lobby of a bank (for privacy) getting eaten out by her new friend"Bob (WHOA ORGASM!)." Ole Tondar moved through the crowds pretty well. The only problem I had with the bull was in the arena when somebody decided they would punch the bull in the nose. This caused the bull to go totally insane, leaping into the crowd. At this point, I dove into the arena but my leg got caught on the barrier and the bull missed me by inches. I was able to get a picture of this moment, but because everything happened so quickly the picture came out as a giant blur of black and red. After that, I spent the rest of the day wandering around Pamplona searching for Julene and Saioa. It turns out they went home and left me there...yes, they are bastards.
GOVERNMENT WASTE

One of my consumers recently moved. I recalculated his foodstamps and computed his $1 increase. During this time I made $5. Assuming the government takes a third, that still results in a net loss of $3.33 just for my labor alone. Now can anyone truthfully say that government does a better spending your money than you would?
UNCLE BILL'S MAGICAL HOBO MOBILE

Yesterday at 4pm I get a call from the guard. My uncle's here to see me and he has something to ask me. Since I had dicked around most of the day I was not too happy to be dragged away from my work. Well I get downstairs, and uncle Bill has just shown up at our building with a homeless person. The bum was waiting in the car while uncle Bill came in to see if he could just leave him here. After security put the smack down on that idea he forced me to brainstorm ways he could ditch this guy. I guess the hobo had a car he had driven up from Indiana and the shelters were not too keen on letting him park that at the flophouse. I was suggesting some shelters around town when a 40 year old snaggle-toothed hag comes up and exclaims "He can stay with me!" As if the moment wasn't weird enough, this was when the crazy train derailed. She said that she could get him a job at Duba's (a very highclass restaurant). She also said that "There's room for him to sleep at my house. I would have my room and he would have his. My dad wouldn't let us stay in the room." It was at this point that Uncle Bill and I exchanged a look. I have no idea why a middle aged person is so interested in a roommate but still lives at home? Sometimes it's best not to ask questions to which you don't really want answers. After she gave some info to my uncle he left to try and dump his hobo at a shelter which gave me about 10 minutes to finish up my work for the day (which was still about 3 minutes too much). *shaking head*
ALBUM REVIEW OF THE DAY

The Fugees: The Score--1996

At the time "The Score" was one of the greatest rap albums of all time. After being duplicated and ripped off for seven years the sound becomes obnoxious and stale. It does have a few good songs, especially the remakes of "Killing Me Softly" and Bob Marley's "No Woman, No Cry." But the success of these songs prepares the way for Puff Daddy to rip-off every marginal hit of the last 25 years. The two most solid original songs are "Fu-Gee-La" and "Ready or Not." These have great hooks and a flowing rap that will exploit any tangant for a rhyme (yeah Lauryn Hill, you go right ahead and deficate on that microphone. You know Tondar's immitating Al Capone). The rest of the album is pretty much crap-filler. Instead of buying this album I would suggest just downloading MP3 versions of the songs mentioned here and forget the album ever existed. But because of these songs the album is not a total loss.

Tondars rating: **
All Music rating: *****

Monday, July 07, 2003

MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION

How are all-you-can-eat eat tacos like nuclear war? Neither can produce a winner, only 2 horrible miserable losers. Thursday night Pigpen and I tackled all-you-can-eat tacos in a showdown for the ages. He ate more 18-16, but truthfully any victory was crushed under the pain and suffering. In fact, I know longer fear cancer after having 16 tacos filling every inch of my torsoI was so full I had to just throwdown my money and walkout to prevent a digestive explosion. Pigpen and I then spent about 20 minutes in the park walking bemoaning the suffering that we brought upon ourselves. If one lesson can be taken away from all of this it would be to pay in advance and have the first 15 tacos come out quickly so they have no time to settle.