Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

DAS HOLIDAY ROAD

So ole Tondar took the Germans to visit James on the east side of the state. It was pretty fun. We got some beer, good wine, and made some great burgers. We went out on the boat. Sure they may hate America as much as Seth, but doesn't everybody love good beer, especially Bells and Czech beer.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

SETH'S NEW FALLGUY

Here is Seth's latest manifesto on the Niger intelligence "scandal." Though I don't agree with any of it I have no problem posting dissenting view points. After all I am not a liberal censor. My only agenda is the truth. This time Seth thinks that Tony Blair will be the fall guy for the "unpopular" Operation Iraqi Freedom. Though keep in mind Tony Blair's speech to Congress last week when you read what Seth has to say. Blair has the ability to put into words what Bush can't always "elagantize."

Blair: "Can we be sure that terrorism and WMD will join together? If we are wrong, we will have destroyed a threat that, at its least is responsible for inhuman carnage and suffering. That is something I am confident history will forgive. But if our critics are wrong and we do not act, then we will have hesitated in face of this menace, when we should have given leadership. That is something history will not forgive."


Seth's Manifesto

"It seems to me that England finally has its Lyndon B. Johnson. Blair was a
popular centrist Labor guy when he came to power. His reforms cemented that
popularity for a good six years. He was never left enough for the Sid Viscious
fans, but still seemed to lean that way enough (see European Union) to suggest
he wouldn't get along too well with Bush.

But like Johnson, an unpopular war looks like it's going to bring him down in shame.

I don't think anyone really knows why Blair was so behind this war - to the
extent that he'd allow misleading evidence to become a major part of his report.
He was the saner of the Bush/Blair tandem throughout the process, pleading to
the UN for support and laying the foundations for Iraq's economic future while
Bush spoke of hunting down Hussein. But all indications so far point to Bush
surviving and Blair going down.

Ignorant Conservative rhetoric could say he did simply because it was "right,"
or go into reasons for the Iraq Attack itself. I want to know what really
happened. This war is likely going to end the political career of one of the
great leaders of the past decade.

We followed the African nukes screw-up to its source and found a doctor who
commited suicide rather than answer whether a politician asked him to falsify
it. It takes no stretch of the imagination to picture the cavalier Bush doing
something like this, using his media control to keep the African nukes thing
bouncing between the CIA and White House until it gets old. But Blair should
have know the BBC goes out for blood in political coverage.

Suggested Possibilities:
-Wanted a piece of Iraqi Oil (UK has highest gas prices in Europe)
-Needed a wartime economic boost (recent stagnation in British economy was
getting worse)
-Wanted international economic hegemony (Iraq forced to buy English products)
-Wished to save Bush from himself (U.S. was ready to go in without support,
Blair saw it would be devastating to international community for that to happen)
-British Left was moving away from him (needed to capture Torrie votes to
replace more radical left-wingers leaving his coalition in down economy)
-Feared loss of American partnership (anti-French/German propaganda was hurting
their tourism and foreign businesses across the globe, Americans are 30 percent
of tourism industry and 25 percent of U.K. exports.)
-Blinded by Power (6 years with iron grip on English politics and as a world
leader gave him dreams of taking down the Great Bad-Guy of our time.)
-Knew Saddam had to go down (thought it was more possible with him on the team)

Hussein really was a despot who represented a danger to U.K. partners in Middle
East. Perhaps Blair felt his presence could convince the world to destroy
Hussein regime, off-setting Bush's unnerving bloodthirsty approach. Bush making
no secret about his intentions to go to war with Iraq before Hans Blix even
started investigating had the rest of the Western world thinking this was some
sort of vendetta that didn't concern them. Perhaps Blair saw past that and
thought he could be the cooler head that got decision makers focused on the
evils of Saddam's regime. At the time, most European leaders were getting scared
off from the war by Bush's approach and it's likely Blair saw an opportunity to
step in as a more level-headed face. But this doesn't explain why he didn't back
out when Europe still wouldn't support it and Bush only got increasingly
headstrong. Was he in too deep - so much so that he would coerce a scientist to
falsify nuclear arms transactions? I guess this makes sense... Bush didn't need
a solid reason for war but Blair did...desperately. Unfortunately, that led to
this great man's downfall while the bully across the ocean got everything to go
his way."



CREATION SCIENCE FAIR 2001

Check out what the kids are doing to celebrate creationism. I especially liked the kid that did the feasibility study about Noah's Ark. This might be one to pass on to Sackett.
MALEBOLGE FWD

I got this fwd this morning. It's funny for me because it's true. THIS IS WHY I DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE.

FIA Office Answering Machine

"Hello, you have reached the FIA Voice Mail. Pay close attention as we have to update the choices often as new and usual circumstances arrive. Please select one of the following options:

To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem that you created yourself, press 1.

To inquire as to whether someone has to die before we'll do something about that problem, press 2.

To report a worker for bad manners, when in reality the worker caught you lying, press 3.

If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.

If you would like us to take control of your life due to your chemical dependency or alcohol, press 5.

If you would like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took years to deteriorate, press 6.

To provide a list of workers you personally know so we will not take disqualification action against you, press 7.

To sue us, or tell us you pay our salary and you'll have our jobs, or to proclaim our career is over, press 8.

To whine about your benefit amount and/or complain about the amount another person you know receives, press 9.

Please note your call may be monitored to assure proper customer support.

Thanks for calling your local FIA and have a nice day!"

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

CHECK IT OUT!

It's funny because He's looking right at the other billboard.
ALBUM REVIEW OF THE DAY

Depeche Mode: Exciter--2001

When it comes to well crafted dark songs about the depths of love, lust, and the substance abuse there is no band better than Depeche Mode. However, what happens after you become "Clean?" You make an album with so many bells, whistles, and clatter that it becomes obnoxious. The second half of this album is so forgettable that its whole becomes far better than any of its parts. It is a good make-out album as long as you don't listen too closely to the music. The lyrics are solid and Dave Gahan's voice is beautiful. However, the band experiments with a jazzy-blues rhythm does not fit at all with their style of music. This becomes obvious when they sing about the predatorial nature of rock stars (The Dead of Night) or an unfaithful lover (Breathe). There are a few good songs on the album for example the hit "Dream On," the sexually deprived "Shine," and the beautiful celebration of passion "When The Body Speaks." But when the beat is held with static and a cars "open door" chime the music falls far short of the lyrics and vocals. Because of these sounds the album already seems dated, despite only being 2 years old. Instead of their traditional dark desperate sound, this album actually sets the mood for a pleasant, lathargic drive through love, lust, and substance abuse. On a personal note this album was originally supposed to be my Christmas Gift. But due to the depths of love, lust, and substance abuse, I actually didn't get it until May.

Tondars rating: **1/2
All Music rating: ****
IF YOU LIKE MEDICATION...

then today is your favorite day of the month. Yes, that's right it's spend-down day. With co-pays met, there will soon be a run on prescription medication for July. Isn't it great that your tax dollars are used to buy soma for those that need a vacation from life!
BUSH: MISUNDERESTIMATED

George W. Bush is certainly being hounded by his critics. However, according to William Kristol (no not the Billy Crystal of "My Giant,") this is a calculated move by Bush to push the democrats left. But like John McLoughlin believes, Bush is so good it makes you wonder if this wasn't all a calculated move. Nevertheless, this non-scandal has outted the media and the liberal wing of the Democratic party. As for the rest of America, they really just don't care (see Friday's poll).
PICCOLO PETE AND THE SUNSHINE SAILORS

Saturday afternoon I was at a BBQ when we decided to go out on James' boat. After about 8 beers a piece this seemed like a good idea. But then Barry had an even better idea, "Let's take the fireworks." So we grabbed the carton of legal (sucky) fireworks and set sail for adventure. We were just about to light them off, as a police boat went storming by fast enough to leave us in a wake. We waited a few minutes and then Craig lit off the first firework. It was a dinky little thing called "Piccolo Pete." We had been making fun of that and Smirnoff Ice all day so we figured it wouldn't have much of a punch. Craig blazed it up and it emitted an earpiercing "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" that should have been heard for miles. It was so loud and obnoxious that it made our Craig's ears' ring. After we found out how horrible they really are we all knew what we had to do. So we tied the wicks together and lit off four of them at the same time. It was the best most horrible noise EVER! And it didn't even attract the cop's attention.
UNLIKELY ALLY

Michael Jackson has come out against the criminalization of music downloading. Instead he feels that the problem should be solved through technology and innovation. However, it is unclear how much prestige and pull the King of Pop has these days. After being outted as a perverted child molester and having his last album flop, Jackson is not the force that he was after "Thriller" or "Bad." In fact, here is what the pedophile had to say...

"It is the fans that drive the success of the music business...I am speechless about the idea of putting music fans -- mostly teenagers -- in jail for downloading music," he said in a statement from his Neverland Ranch in the western state of California."

True but did he really have to mention teenagers. :/

DOUBLE STANDARD

When Trent Lott used racially insensitive material he was hounded in the media and forced to resign as majority leader. When a democrat uses a gay slur it is nicely swept under the rug by the liberal media. Pete Stark this was not an isolated incident. Check out the unprofessional rapsheet of this "Gentleman from CA."

'You little fruitcake, you little fruitcake, I said you are a fruitcake,'" Hulshof, R-Mo., read from the unofficial transcript.


Stark fired another gay slur in the direction of Chairman Thomas. The word is too vulgar to print in full, but the last half of it is "sucker."

He once called Republican Rep. Nancy Johnson "a whore," and said former Health and Human Services Secretary Louis Sullivan is "a disgrace to his race."

Why isn't the media hounding Stark? FOXNEWS is the only source to cover this story. And still they maintain a fair and balanced approach (citing democrats on what started the exchange). That is why America turns to FOXNEWS and Seth becomes enraged that his liberal lies are exposed.

Monday, July 21, 2003

MALEBOLGE

It is a well known fact that my office building smells like ass. This is especially true on the groundfloor where the lowlifes come crawling into beg. However, now that it's a hot and humid day with alot of rain the stink has mutated. Picture a combination of bad B.O., wet-unkept-ass, and good ole fashion sweat because that perfectly describes the poor people loby.
WHY DO WOMEN FALL IN LOVE?

Simple...power, money, or prestige.
1984 WATCH

It looks like the word massacre is only to be used when talking about mass murder committed only by whites. Some Mexican-Americans are offended by their own role in history and wish to change it so that their brutal murder of 300 Texans can be erased. They are not arguing the 1836 event of which "Few experts dispute the brutality of the killings: Mexican forces shot hundreds of Texans on river roads near the Presidio, burned their bodies and left the remains to vultures. Documents from the time show that even among high-ranking Mexican officers there was ambivalence over carrying out the orders from Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna to kill the Texans, who had surrendered after a battle." However, Mexican-Americans want to change this interpretation and score another victory for new speak. The NYTimes has the story.

CRUCIFIXION IN ANTIQUITY

Here is an interesting piece on methods and historical records for crucifixion. Interesting stuff if you are a Christian or into Roman History.