Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Friday, November 14, 2003

ESPN CAN STILL SUCK IT

Today there were two columns on ESPN.com about the Pistons. The first, compares Carmello Anthony to Tayshaun Prnice. However, I'm not buying it. Dumars obviously said that Rip Hamilton would be the goto guy in the future after he gave him that huge contract extension. Tayshaun is a totally different player than Carmello. Until we see carmello shut down T-Mac in the 4th quarter of a playoff game, we cannot concede that the defensive minded Pistons made a mistake.

The Second piece truly is a piece. This one is by Sam Smith. Apparently he has no understanding of basketball, nor did he watch any of last years playoff games. in fact, look how wrong he is...

"So Dumars decided to take a step back -- shed the team of its veteran core that made it the hard-working, overachiever that it was. (Raise your hand if you had the Pistons winning 50 games any of the last two seasons. I thought so.) Dumars had a couple of young big guys. And even if no one was sure how to spell their names, they looked like they could win a lot of games someday."

If he had watched last years playoffs he would have understood the Pistons 2 biggest problems. Uncle Cliffy fell apart and became such a huge liability that Carlisle had no choice but to play Prince. Another glaring problem in Robinson's game wasthe fact that he did not rebound. For a guy that is 6 ft 10 he didn't get any boards. Now Detroit may have hadthe best rebounder in Wallace but that is where the rebounding began and ended. The Pistons did about as much rebuilding this off-season as the Spurs did. In reality the pistons off-season was like the Spurs 96 off-season when they were able to draft Tim Duncan (a lottery pick thanks to a season without the Admiral). The pistons are a great team that simply addressed it's 2 weaknesses (Cliff Robinson and rebounding) in the off-season. But then again without slamma-jamma-in-yo-face action, what else can you expect the ESPN idiots to write about?
ELECTION MAP

We have all seen the maps that break down the U.S. into voting blocks. However, here is a twist on that theme that shows the origin of presidential monetary donations.
FRENCH WATCH

Since their friend Saddam was overthrown France has had to make new tyrannical middle eastern friends. On top of that, the EU responds to France's desire to secularize Europe and leave all mentions of Christianity out of the EU Constitution. This makes sense from a French perspective, for if you are to subjugate Europeans to a new French dominated superstate, you must first erase Europe's history. Their attack on traditional European culture is right out of "1984's" Ministry of Information playbook.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

QUAGMIRE 1945

Here's another blogger's take on the quagmire in 1945 Germany. Even then the NYTimes was waging a war against rebuilding the enemy. Thank God we had Truman in power to make sure the right thing was done.
WHO WANTS TO BE A FIRST LADY?

Here's one for all you single ladies out there. In my opinion, $20 bucks says he's gay but he's too much of a politician to come out of the closet.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

SNAIL TRAIL DALE

I blogged once before on Snail Trail Dale. However, now the guy is coming around every day bringing more Funk than George Clinton and the Bop-gun. Before we used to have the delightful Tennis-Elbow Matt and Epileptic Nick emptying the trash for the Hope Network crew. Matt was a really nice guy that liked to talk about sports and lie about the concerts he has been to. He says he doesn't like black people because "they live like animals and poop in the urinals" and he recently moved in with his girlfriend who is also retarded. While on the other hand, Nick was a REALLY nice guy but a little socially awkward on account of having his head split open one to many times because of his seizures. However, Snail Trail does not socialize. He lets the funk speak for him. Picture the smell of a man that hasn't bathed in weeks and carries a satchel of 6 month old bologna. Not only would he make a rat gag, but he makes me clear out of my cubicle for about 15 minutes every day. On top of that, when he comes around he doesn't change the bag on the trash cans so what ever remnants of lunch remain on the bag start to rot away on the bag. Right now my cubicle is starting to smell like apple cider thanks to the Hope Network's worst employee ever! Tennis Elbow Matt and Epileptic Nick, where are you? :(
NICK ON SWEDISH MUSIC

If you want to find out what the heck is wrong with the music in Sweeden then you should probably ask one of the natives. Here's what one had to say...

"I don't know what to say man, I'm ashamed. Actually, those kinds of bands are still around, and they look pretty much the same as they did in the 70-80's. I suppose you can say that they are equivalent to counrty music. But in America people of all ages enjoy country, but in Sweden, no one under 40 listens to theese guys. And the music is terrible. Every song sounds the same, and it's always about love and kisses and you and me and us forever and other sugar-sweet topics (it really makes you wanna puke).

rock on.....nick"

NO MORE GAME IN THE HOUSE OF THE CRIPPLE

Earlier this month Big Ed cut the satalite package at the house. This eliminated WXSP and Foxsports Detroit. Thus I can't watch any Pistons games NOR any Red Wings games. Last night Seth called me during the Pistons game because my favorite guy that wipes his ass with his bare hand (Yes, Turkey's Mehmet Okur), had a pretty good game against the Sacramento Kings. Unfortunately the only basketball I will be watching in the Love Grotto will be NBA Live 2003 where Okur is a subpar journeyman.
YOUR BLOG NOW II

I need to get caught up here at work before I go to Spain next week. That means I won't have time to post as much as I would like. So for the next week, I am handing The Daily Rant over to y'all. Send in articles and rants and I will post it regardless of content, truth, or logic. Now's your chance Seth, you can now push your liberal agenda and lay into me, President Bush, and the "conservative media" with full force.
SO WHAT DID HAPPEN?

Sunday NBC ran a made for TV movie about POW Jessica Lynch. They called it "the story that gave America hope," combined with dramatic music, it made me laugh every time I saw the promo. But now there is a dispute over the details. Personally I'm curious to know the truth behind this story. What exactly happened. Did those barbarians actually rape her? Why did the army video tape the rescue? Was she used as propaganda for the Pentagon? Is Lynch just trying to sell books? Once the media turned this into another circus of sensationalism the truth became the first casualty.
INVESTMENT ADVICE

Good investments aren't always easy to spot, nor can they dress themselves.
MORE BAD ALBUMS

Here's another batch of terrible album covers. Personally, my favorites are "All My Friends Are Dead," and "The Many Facets of Roger." Im not sure what it is about Roger but he looks like the type of guy that would get hired to work for the Falcon Group...well, if he weren't black. If that's not enought for you, check out what the world's 3rd largest music producing country has brought us. I guess the only thing you need for a record deal is matching outfits.

Monday, November 10, 2003

AGE OF LIBERTY

If you have time, read the text of President Bush's speech from last week. It's quite inspiring and sets the agenda for (prudent) American foreign policy over the next 20 years. William Safire does a great job of noting the importance of this speech, in this morning's NYTimes.