Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Thursday, January 01, 2004

HAPPY NEW YEARS

Well I would like to wish you all a happy New Year, but unfortunately I was chased down the street by some very angry drunk. Sure we can debate all night about who broke what over whom's patio, but the point is the douche-bag chased me down the street without warning and now owns the hood of my FSU jacket. Thus this means that without warning any of us could be attcked while shopping or infected and become carriers for some really bad disease (such as the I Have To Run Quickly From You Cough) in the dead of winter. This creates a running problem for anyone that has tried to do charity or shenanigans in the last 25 years. It's sad to see that some things haven't changed with the new year.

UPDATE: Ugh, never post drunk. That's the Richards talkin' right there.

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

HEY BITCHES

If you want your game back I put it in Seth's bed. Hope you don't get pregnant looking for it. Who-ah, you've been Tondard.

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

ACTUALLY GOTTA WORK

Today's the last day of my last month. That means that I actually have to do work today instead of posting for all of you. Hopefully I will be able to post sometime between now and the fifth. But in the meantime check out this David Brooks column from the NYTimes. I don't really agree with it, but it's an interesting breakdown of religion in America.

Monday, December 29, 2003

MONKEY REPUBLIC WATCH

Tensions are high this week as the Monkey Republic has moved to Def-Monk 3 after reports that Julius and Friends are seeking to overthrough the Republic and replace Mr. Mojo with Mr. Todd Spicolli the Hamster. Mr. Mojo made this announcement:

"Julius bad monkey. He want destroy Republic. He want take our candy and fruit. The citizens of the Monkey Republic of the Love Grotto do whatever it takes to defend against meanies. Foreign Minister, William Jennings Bryan may activate alliance with India and America. Minister of Defense, Lord Grumpington put army on alert. Aggression not be tolerated."

At this time there still has not been an official respone from either Paul Frank or Julius.
ITALIAN CHRISTMAS STORY

Check out this heartwarming story from Italy about a transvestite gentleman named "Christmas" that sacrificed himself to save some girls from a gang of guisepes.
OUR POLISH ALLIES

Tondar and Tom Friedman both love the Polish. On top of that, they love America more than many Americans do. Though when you've spent the last 100 years being slaughtered by the Germans, Russians, Nazis, and Soviets it just makes sense that you would be more supportive of the ole US of A.
FEDERAL VAMPIRE AND ZOMBIE AGENCY

I'm not sure what to think of this website but it's certainly worthy of a permanent linky dink.
WALMART WATCH

For the second time this holiday season there has been a beat-down at a U.S. Walmart. Check out this rather vague story about a father going medieval with a baseball bat. Money quote...

"From her first Christmas she has never been separated from her father. Never. Now he's incarcerated. Is that what Santa has to bring?"

Email me if you can find any more details about this weird story.