Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Thursday, February 19, 2004


Check out this blog from TNR (courtesy of Frank) that badmouths the current state of NBA offenses. It seems that Oscar Robertson is pissed that teams simply come down and put the ball in one man's hands and let him get his shot. One can see this in McGrady, Iverson, and originally Michael Jordan. Also this is the biggest reason why America lost the World Championships in '02. Simply put, American players tend to be fundamentally unsound and do not thrive in a team game. Of course one can see the exceptions to this in the upper echelon of teams such as the Lakers, Spurs, Kings, and Pacers. Each team comes down and has an offense that flows into the frontcourt before shots are taken. This is why it is important for Detroit to develop Darko so that in the future we can have a great inside-outside game like the great Dynasties of NBA history.

It appears that the Paris-Berlin Axis may be cracking under the weight of European Union expansion. Check out the childish behavior of Chirac towards Tony Blair at a recent press conference. While Germany understands the need for Europe to be unified by its powers, France and Chirac are getting pissy because they are no longer calling the shots. However, this is a good thing if it will allow the smaller states to have more of a voice and push the Union towards better Atlantic relations.

Check out this great piece from The Onion on how Gillette now needs a razor with five blades. Classic. (Email me if you are blocked at work and I will cut and paste this one to you).

Right before today's 3pm trade deadline the Pistons made a threeway trade with the Boston Celtics to get Rasheed Wallace from the Atlanta Hawks for Chucky Atkins, Bob Sura, and Zellie Rebraca. This move was made to free up money so the Pistons could resign Mehmet Okur next year. However, I question the move for a big reason. Rasheed is a head case that basically gave the Portland Jailblazers their nickname single handedly. On the other hand, the Pistons also got a solid guard in Mike James in the trade. He averages 10.7 ppg and has an assist to turnover ratio of almost 3:1. If the Sheed can keep his act together than the Pistons definitely came out reloaded and ready to make a run at Indiana in the playoffs.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004


In case you an ignant jive-ass turkey pica is "a compulsion to eat things not normally consumed as food. Its name comes from the Latin word for magpie, a bird thought to eat just about anything."

Check out this FOXNEWS story about a Frenchman that had 350 coins removed from his stomach and has lately been a "New England Journal of Medicine" oddity.

Coinage Quote: "The condition is perhaps best known in children and pregnant women...(Tondars's Italics)"

OK, I can see kids swallowing a lego here and there but pregnant women!? What kinda crazy hormones are making women eat ingestible things? And what are they eating!? Baby food?! I love FOXNEWS but unfortunately this article has raised more questions than it has answered for me.

If you ever took an astronomy class then you heard fantastical tales about black holes so powerful that they not only suck in the band Rush, but they also pull in stars. Well scientists have finally found X-Ray proof of a black hole ripping a star apart. Very cool in my book.

Check out Ken Holland's idea for a rule change in the NFL.

Money Quote: "What's next? Should we make the goalies play without a stick?"
SETH ON 2004 MICHIGAN FOOTBALL IV: Special Teams and Predictions

Special Teams:
Michigan finally found their heir to Hayden Epstein at the place kicker position in Garrett Rivas, who went 9 for 12 as a true freshman. Punter Adam Finley, a 5th year senior, was marked by Carr as one of the best at his position to ever wear maize and blue; he averaged 40 yards per punt and put 19 of 50-something behind the 20. Michigan also found their star punt returner in Steve Breaston. Prior to Breaston, Wolverine punt returners Markus Curry, Julius Curry, Jermaine Gonzalez, Marquise Walker, Ronald Bellamy, and Tim Bracken had all failed to score a touchdown on the return (2000-2002). Breaston scored two (with two more called back) and averaged 13.8 yards per return while fans and opposing teams alike held their breath. Kickoff specialists Troy Neinburg and Phil Brabbs both graduated this year, leaving Finley, Rivas, and a handful of walk-ons to battle for the duty. Long snapper Ross Mann enters his 5th year senior season with redshirt sophomore Turner Booth as his apprentice. Jeremy LeSueur and Steve Breaston handled kickoff return duties last year with Tim Bracken getting occasional chances. Carl Tabb and Markus Curry have the ability to take over secondary kickoff returns while Breaston takes the Lion's share. Tabb and Ernest Shazor merit mention on defensive special teams for their ability to get down-field on punt coverage while Pierre Woods has demonstrated an ability to rush opposing punters.
Schedule breakdown and Predictions:
We're months from starting Spring Ball but I still think it's possible to start making calls on the 2004 Wolverines. I'm willing to bet that I'm at least as accurate as Lee Corso in 2004 even if he doesn't make his call until August.
Sept. 4: Miami (Ohio) – Michigan 21-7
Sept. 11: at Notre Dame – Notre Dame 20-17
Sept 18: San Diego State – Michigan 35-14
Sept 25: Iowa – Michigan 17-13
Oct 2: at Indiana – Michigan 27-10
Oct 9: Minnesota – Michigan 24-7
Oct 16: at Illinois – Michigan 23-7
Oct. 23: at Purdue – Purdue 14-10
Oct. 30: Michigan St. – Michigan 24-0
Nov 13: Northwestern – Michigan 31-14
Nov. 20: at Ohio State – Ohio State 10-3
Jan. 1: Citrus Bowl – Michigan 21-13 over Tennessee
Overall: 9-3, 6-2 – Tie-1st Big Ten, #12 overall
Offensive MVP: Braylon Edwards
Defensive MVP: Marlin Jackson
Once again, it comes down to Ohio State. Win there and we're back in the Rose Bowl.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004


Critics of the war in Iraq have been making two gripes against the Administration. First, they said we needed more troops in Iraq. Second, they think it is unwise and impossible to battle both Al Qaeda and Saddam's Baathists at the same time. However, in reality we did not need more troops. We simply needed to train the new Iraqi police and military to handle the fight themselves. check out this story of a battle between the new police force and a group of Al Qaeda militants. They did not need any personel from the American troops. They merely needed more weapons and ammunition. Secondly, if you still doubt the good news check out this must-read letter from Al Qaeda's very own Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. It outlines strategy for fighting in Iraq and also shows the effectiveness of America's war on terror. This primary document is one of the most intriguing things I have read in a long time.

In the wake of Lord Hutton's damning report the Brittish Government is considering dismantling the BBC. This would be a wonderful thing since every Brit that owns a tv is forced to pay a tax to fund the left leaning BBC.

Here are more details about Conan O'Brien's troubles with the Canadian government. Even though I'm sure he is loving the attention and the "scandel." I simply find it ridiculous that the Canadian govenment would rush to condemn Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.


If it wasn't bad enough that Mel Gibson has been accused of anti-semitism for his new film "The Passion of the Christ." It seems his star, Jim Caviezel, had a helluva time during filming. He had to spend 6 hrs a day in makeup, dislocated his shoulder, and had to wear an actual crown of thorns. He got hypothermia during the crucifixion scene. And to top it all off he was even struck by lightning!

Monday, February 16, 2004


After the state of Mass. debated gay marriage last week, the San Francisco city hall took it upon itself to start marrying gays. At the time of posting they had already issued 1,700 licenses. Of course this flies in the face of the state legislature that had been working to tighten the definition of marriage. Though these marriages will probably all be voided it shows the defiance strategy mentioned in the Pat Buchanan article (listed below under Judicial Tyranny) in action. James reminds us that silent Cal was not the first executive to be defiant...

"One thing to remember is that the Buchanan "defiance" strategy has precedent.? the Supreme Court ruling in the Cherokee nation versus the state of georgia was ignored by Jackson who said "the supreme court has made its decision, now let them enforce it".? it was then that jackson ordered the cherokee rounded up and moved across the mississippi on the "trail of tears".? so there is precendent for such a ruling to be ignored and killed by the executive branch.

Furthermore, Pigpen with a pending wedding, is a little upset that the institution of marriage is being cheapened as the law of man seeks to undermine the laws of nature...

"What a great article by Pat Buchanan. I just hope Gov. Romney has read it and thinks so as well.

Isn't homosexuality one of the leading reasons why God laid waste to Sodom and Gomorrah? It was also one of the reasons for the fall of Rome - a cavalier attitude toward personal freedoms and pleasures above the good intentions and direction that the majority wants the nation, or empire, to go. Shame on the vocal minority in this country for assumimg and telling majority and minority alike that this is the way "the people" want it. Gays are less than 10% of the population, or something like that and yet are codified and put on a pedestal that they are so much better than everyone else. They are not a race, but yet are treated like it. Endless bitching comes when reparations are proposed for African-Americans, but we're called intolerant when the vast majority of people, Rep and Dem alike ask to have in your face homosexual behaivior put into some place other than the public eye.

Frankly my views on this lie with the Biblical Christian view and no where in the Christian Bible does it condone anything regarding the homosexual practice and lifestyle. In fact, there are at least 2 instances that I am familiar with, that deal with the condemnation of this and other immoral lifestyles. Now, everyone in this nation must have it thrust in their face.

This morning on the news there was a peice concerning a group of protesters in Mass. A man carried a sign that said "God want's gay marriage." Personally, I am 100% offended that MY God is being characterized in this fashion, but to say that would be intolerant of me and fall along the lines of the?new, popular definition of "hate" ("My God" is not a slam on anyone it is meant to imply the Christian God that I, Pigpen?worship).

If this were a legitimate challenge to American law, then why has marriage been recognized and practiced for millenia around the world as a union between a man and a woman. This is simply not a Christian or Republican?bitch because nations and tribes that do not know or practice Christanity throughout the world still recognize marriage as a means of furthering the species, or family line that can only be accomplished through procreative unions, and anything else besides being heavily frowned upon and scorned by most religions is seen as incorrect and un-natural.

One last comment to mull over - the core founders and leaders of the Nazi party were homosexulas - do the reaseach, you'll see."

Pigpen does make an interesting point. One with which Thomas Aquinas would agree. Under Natural Law male and female are to come together to reproduce. I do sympathize with the gay fight for equality. However, this attempt by Man's Law to change the most basic function of Natural Law can easily lead to a slippery slope that undoes all societal taboos. Can you picture and America where NAMBLA has won its battle, I can marry my sister, and that pesky old incest taboo has finally been overturned by the "progressive" minds of either the legislature or judiciary?

And of course this change would have to come through the judiciary. It is the most radical branch of our government and has no responsibility whatsoever to the voters. I strongly agree with alot of what David Limbaugh and Pat Buchanan often say about the courts. They simply are out of control and are making no effort to rule on the law. Today's judges make decisions as they feel and pay patronizing lip service to any sort of precedent. Society is built upon laws and inherenty these laws are going to be unfair to different groups or people. Take the recent ruling that allows Maurice Clarette to join the NFL despite the leagues previous age limits. These were there to keep the NFL a league of professionals, but since its unfair to a certain thug-ass teenager the entire NFL will now suffer as pro football becomes developmental like the NBA. Another great example are drinking age laws. Maybe these are unfair to kids that are fully developed by age 16 and shouldn't have to wait until they are 21. Or what about the 12 year old that is disenfranchised? Or what if I want to practice law or medicine without a license? I think it's VERY unfair and insulting that I have to prove my qualifications. If I keep suing maybe I can find the right liberal judge to overturn this law. As you can see, without resorting to complete anarchy we can never have complete equality under the law. And whether it is the case of Maurice Clarette or gay marriage, judges need to rule on precedent and take into account the slippery slope their judicial tyranny may create. If this does not happen, we very well might see another American revolution that amends the constitution and returns the power to a government that is of, by, and for the people.

As Seth often tells us, the Democratic Party is the party of the poor and common man. But not so fast guy. According to Forbes, if John Kerry were to be elected he would be the third richest president in US History. In addition, if you look at his campaign it seems that his contributions have come from many "Big Businesses."

Campaign Money Quote: "In the course of his career, Kerry's campaigns have received substantial funding from employees and affiliates of such companies as Fleet Boston Financial (nyse: FBH - news - people ), Time Warner (nyse: TWX - news - people ), Citigroup (nyse: C - news - people ) and Goldman Sachs (nyse: GS - news - people )..."

When did this so called "common man" ever get himself listed on the nyse?

Astronomers have recently looked to the center of the universe and have discovered a galaxy 13 billion light years away. This is the oldest object ever discovered in our universe. The Galaxy called "Abell 2218" is only 2% the size of our Milky Way since we are seeing it the way it looked 13 billion years ago.

Sunday, February 15, 2004


This week Dominik Hasek walked away from the Detroit Red Wings and into his second retirement. On the one hand ESPN thinks that he is a whiney prima dona that can't get along with other coaches and players. Seth has another take on the Dominator and his time in Detroit...

"When you can throw multi-million dollar contracts and multi-million dollar careers around like the Detroit Red Wings, you leave yourself open to doing a very un-hockeylike thing.

Here's the skinny: Hasek, as you know, retired after the Stanley Cup Season. He was one and done, and yes, these problems in Buffalo were real. What the writer missed, however, was that there were a ton of problems in Buffalo, and Hasek's selfishness was pretty far down the list. Every year, Hasek would take them deep into the playoffs and every offseason, they'd unload another member of the team's core, guys in their prime who would demand good contracts in a year, for some prospect that didn't pan out or a draft pick that was used on a nobody. Hasek was also well known for making his own decisions there, but hey, he WAS Buffalo.

If Dom forced the trade to Detroit, he wouldn't be the first superstar to ask to be traded to a better situation, and giving up Kozlov and a 1st round pick for Hasek's last year was pretty even. Kelley forgot to bring up the fact that Slava Kozlov was Detroit's only 20-something offensive threat and that the playmaking forward is now thriving, playing team hockey on Atlanta's top line. If you were trying to make a cup run in 2005, Kozlov's much more valuable that Hasek.

As far as losing on purpose, I think Kelley crosses the line, there. Dom's so competitive that he's facing criminal charges for beating up an opposing player in a Czech parking lot roller-hockey pick-up game. He wanted a Stanley Cup so bad that he forced a trade to Detroit to help his chances. While watching his first playoffs after retiring, Dominik got the urge to play so bad that he called up Ken Holland and said right there, "I'm coming back." He also accepted less - dropping the $8 million he would have made this season down to $6 million. This isn't
someone who throws games just because or walks away from the Western
Conference leading team.

What do I think happened, then? Goaltending has a lot to do with athleticism, quickness, planning, psychology, statistics, pad size, body size, cheating, instincts, and sheer will. Every goalie comes up with their own style, which is tendered to whatever aspect they're particularly attuned to. Patrick Roy, for example, knew every statistical percentage for every nuance and shift in the butterfly stance. He also was the second best ever at psyching out opponents, was awesome at cheating (stacking up snow on the corners to block wrap-arounds, casually knocking the net off its moorings, deflecting the puck out of play, poke-checking, etc.), and could plan every minute detail of every split-second save. Hasek, on the other hand, was the master of the psych-out, never quit on a puck even if he was standing on his head 20 feet out, was a tremendous athlete, and relied on sheer instinct (or dumb luck) to make plays. Roy would end each play standing
up, barely sweating, every save fluid, practiced perfection: Iceman. Hasek would be sprawled on the ice, equipment strewn about, the puck stuck under his ass cheek while an opposing forward watches a wide open net on the jumbotron replay and asks himself why God hates him so: Maverick. The point is, Hasek's style was a razor. He never started the season hot, but come playoff time, everyone was so convinced they couldn't get one by him they'd forget to shoot. Dom takes a year off, puts on a few pounds, lets some years and old injuries catch up with him, and then returns to find that he was all out of miracles.

CuJo is a bit over-hyped. In Toronto, he played exactly as well as he does now, but that city deifies their goalies. He wasn't worth $8 million a season under financial constrictions and with the uncertainty of a lockout season or new salary cap, General Manager Ken Holland perhaps saw a chance to pick up a star forward for Joseph, make one last run at the cup with Hasek, and go into 2004-05 with a much cheaper roster.

However, Curtis Joseph, one of the classiest people in the game, left the adoration of Toronto because Detroit promised to show him respect. The worst thing we could do to him was demote him the minute our old lover came calling, ruining his confidence, the team's confidence in him, and generally calling into question whether signing a free agent deal in Detroit really means you're going to get everything promised to you. It was a greedy move that should have been unavailable simply because of financial constraints and good business ethics.

Of course, as Cujo finds satisfaction and redemption in being welcomed back to the fold, Mike Ilitch's wallet takes the only real hit in all of this. Detroit hockey fans are left to stare more in wonder than conviction at the odd drama between the pipes this season. Meanwhile, engrossed in effecting actual change in the NHL, small market fans in Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Ottawa, Vancouver, etc. have paid little attention and surprisingly little rancor. As for our big budget rivals, well, St. Louis, Colorado, Dallas, et al. know too well that they would
have done the same thing. Karma and the injury bug will likely dictate a no-cup season for the Wings, Hull, Yzerman, Chelios and Thomas will hang up their skates, and the Dominator will become the Blues' problem. Poor Osgood, he was just getting used to St. Louis.

By and by, a less-than-reputable source claims that Hasek has some sort of STD. It might explain why he never lets doctors look at his groin injuries. Another person on the same page pontificates that Dom wears womens' underwear to help with his balance - a la Bull Durham. I'm willing to bet they're full of crap, but I thought I'd pass it on anyway."


For Ole Tondar, after the Czech mercenary disrupts my Wings, takes $8 million for a handful of games, and runs, I would kinda like to think that he actually does have the STD. Trading in the Red Wings for a bit of Red Discharge is a fair and just punishment for jerking around Hockey Town before dumping them.

One bad mother of three with a voice deeper than Tondars: "I'll beat on you. I don't give a fuck who sees."