Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

BREAKING THE EGG CARTEL

From Seth...

"If you've been wondering what the better business bureau has been up to, it's
been busy going after the egg industry.

I wonder where an oligarchy of the music industry is on the priority list.

Anyway, I understand that they shouldn't be called "humane" for making chickens live too closely together, cutting off their beaks so they don't kill each other, etc.

But this isn't, like, priority numero uno here. Have you ever met a chicken? Gotten to know one personally? Talk about nasty, mean, spiteful, stupid creatures. Sure, I know the cast of friends had a chicken that made a great pet, but in case you haven't figured it out by now, "Friends" is not reality. Chickens suck. Eat them, torture them, whatever the hell you want to do with those little fuckers is up to you. How nice we make the life of our eggproducing chickens is right up there on my "I give a shit" list with how comfortable our accomodations for Saddam Hussein have been."

Actually ole Tondar would prefer the chickens are treated better than Saddam. Their lifestyle affects Tondar's health. After all, St. Thomas Aquinas wrote a lengthy treatise on "what you eat is what you are." And since ole Tondar eats alotta eggs, I hope the better business bureau is lookin' out for the shit eatin' asshole chickens that lay my weekend breakfasts.
JEWISH CONSPIRACY WATCH



From Seth...

"Last month, I was pointed to a website by a group of t15{claimed Sept. 11 was orchestrated by the Jews so that we could extort all of the donations. Hmm....must have missed another Omega Force meeting.
 
Anyway, apparently it didn't take a room full of Hebrews with law degrees to cash in on America's good will towards those injured by the terrorists. Looks like the truckers aren't only on to us; they're stealing our ideas."

First off, when does Seth talk to truck drivers? Is this when the traffic from Thompson is backed up all the way to 308? Or maybe it's 10-4 talk on the CB, "Good buddy? " Secondly, since one of them had this lame brained idea they must ALL be behind the 9/11 myth/exploitation charade. Though I'm not surprised there is some douche-bag somewhere trying to cash in on the tragedy of 9/11. Afterall, a lawsuit is the new American way.

Friday, May 14, 2004

MAINSTREAM MEDIA DROPS THE BALL

For one day the news of Nick Berg's beheading dominated the mainstream media. The very next day they were back to blaming America for Iraqi prisoner abuse. However, what the mainstream media fails to grasp is that there are now alternative sources of information for people to read the stories and get the information they want. Instapundit has chronicled the real importance of the Nick Berg story for America despite the media circus surrounding the prisoner mistreatment. This right here my liberal friends, is the reason conservative radio and sites like Drudge are so popular. They fill the information void left by a media that seems more and more out of touch with America.
POSITIVES IN IRAQ

Speaking of the mainstream media...here is a great column from Tech Central Station that talks about the lastest positives coming out of Iraq. Since the mainstream media expects American perfection and love to report our failures and decry quagmire, it's good to see articles that keep things in perspective and discuss the progress our troops have made in bringing democracy to Iraq and winning the war on terror.
THOSE KIDS AND THEIR NOISY ROCK & ROLL

From Seth...

"Looks like all great musicians have to go through the same hell as "Oblivion." Where there's a band, there's an asshole neighbor who likes to call the cops for noise violations."

It seems even Sir Paul McCartney is too loud for his neighbors.

Money quote: "We love animals and so we're sorry about Mr. Pemberton's cat." - McCartney spokesperson after learning that the noise complainer's feline companion was also disturbed by the noise."
WHERE ARE THE BLACKOUT BABIES?

So it's been 9 months since the Great Blackout of 2003 hit the northeast states of America, but where are all the babies that were supposed to have been conceived during that boring August night? Apparently, this myth didn't really pan out. Though it probably has something to do with this money quote...

"Some feel romantic, but some are freaked out. Some women won't be ovulating. And we do have birth control."

When Tondar's 15 minutes of fame roll around I hope I can use the word "ovulating."

GETTIN' DOWN IN THE OCTOPUS GARDEN

Check out this story about the largest octopus in the world, J-1 finding love in his old age.

Money Quote: "What the aquarium staff does know is that when they separated, J-1 flashed some colors, turning almost white and then dark red."

From Seth...

"If Octopi are getting the loving, what about wookies?"

Well if you wanna come live in a tank in my backyard. I'm sure I can find a biggun to toss in there with you to complete the breeding cycle.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

"It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out where the strong man stumbled, or where a doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, and who comes up short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause. The man who at best knows the triumph of high achievement and who at worst, if he fails, fails while daring greatly, so that his place will never be with those cold timid souls who never knew victory or defeat." - Teddy Roosevelt.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

WHY WE'RE FIGHTING

I'm sure everybody has heard about the beheading of American hostage Nick Berg at the hands of Al Qaeda. Compared to the media circus surrounding Abu Ghraib, this really demonstrates the difference between "mistreatment" and "atrocity." Many in the mainstream media have listened to Al Qaeda and believe this is in response to our mistreatment of Iraqis in Abu Ghraib. However, that's a pretty silly assumption. Terrorists and Islamo-fascists have hated America for years. And this kind of atrocity cannot be a result of Abu Ghraib since Daniel Pearl suffered the same fate 3 years ago in Afghanistan. If anything, Mr. Berg's death shows what we are fighting against in this war on terror: Bloodthirsty barbarians that think they are doing God's will by murdering civilians. And the idea that we have lost the "hearts and minds" of these animals is foolish. Did they all of a sudden decide to hate America infinity +1?

Anyways, since the liberal media is not showing the full horror of this atrocity, but have no problems with repeatedly showing what the 7 Americans mistreating the Iraqis, you can check it out here. (Be warned it's as nasty as a Faces of Death video) My heart really goes out to his family for this truly horrible act. And as for the terrorists, they have done nothing but cement American resolve to destroy them.
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS IN MEXICO

Remember in the movie "Close Encounters" how the aliens first showed up in the Mexican desert? Well check out this story about infrared UFOs surrounding a surveillance plane. This is definitely one for Crazy Science. In the meantime, ole Tondar is gonna start building Devil's Tower out of mashed potatoes and practicing my hand signs.
HEBREW CORNER

Check out this article about Mr. Spock's devotional photos that capture the feminine aspects of Jewish divinity. I know Tondar learned something from that damn Vulcan, though it sounds like his faith may be a bit out there compared to most Jews. It's too bad the article couldn't actually include any of the images, just so we could get a better idea of what's going through the head of Mr. Spock.
EUCHARIST DEBATE

Here is a good article from Catholic.org that tries to explain the complicated rules surrounding the Sacrament of the Eucharist. It seems this issue has actually been in the making for several years based on two of the the Pope's encyclicals, one on human life (abortion) and a later one regarding the Eucharist.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

MORE ESPN BIAS

I was reading another column today about the Pistons vs. Nets series. It was a good piece about how Jason Kidd needs to get back on track for the Nets to have a chance. However, what occured to me while I was reading it was how ESPN always discusses the series in terms of New Jersey. Whether it's New Jersey getting shut down and losing, or, New Jersey turning it on and winning, the coverage all seems to have a pro-New Jersey edge. Now this is understandable when a local paper like the FreeP has biased regional coverage. But one would expect more from ESPN. You don't see them discussing the emergence of Tayshaun. Nor do they consider that Detroit's defense is too much for Kidd to handle. Yes ESPN, you can still suck it.
SETH'S TAKE ON THE RIGHT

A recent Washington Post article demonstrated conservative disaproval of Bush. The money quote going around the internet is...

"For three years, the president pushed policies conceived during his 2000 campaign for the White House, but with most of those ideas either enacted or stalled, policymaking has run out of steam, they said."

Though if you read on, the lack of policy really seems to be a part of not trying to rock the boat in an election year...

"He's having to defend the forward motion he's already had," Bell said. "Reagan in '84 was the same way. People who thought Reagan's creative period was going to end after '83 were wrong. I think Bush will be the same way."

I would agree with the article that a lot of Bush's policy is politically driven. However, between the war on terror and a very divided Congress, I'm not sure how much of a conservative/Reaganesque agenda the president could realistically deliver.

From Seth...

"This story is largely about domestic policy as well as foreign, but let's take a look at each separately:
 
I think the right is coming from the perspective of treating every war like it was World War II. Clear objectives, clear enemies, etc. Maybe they're wrong, but I don't want to just say "this is a different situation" without going into details, which I don't have time for.
 
However, it might be interesting to discuss what might have happened had the U.S. entered Iraq with the objective of "Unconditional Surrender" rather than arbitrarily announcing that the war was over. The first Bush was criticized for not making this the objective of the first war, but the line hasn't come out quite so often with this war.
 
The first question is whether or not this could be accomplished. What if Saddam simply refused to sign over his country until we sat there long enough to commit atrocities and enrage the conquered people and Hussein sympathizers embolded by their leader's steadfastship? Was the guy nuts enough to do that? He certainly was an egomaniac.
 
Unconditional surrender would have helped to establish legitimacy for the American occupying forces. It would also have avoided the recent period of guerilla warfare, at least insofar as it would have occurred under the context of war rather than peacetime rebellion. Rather than each outbreak of rebels or terrorism besmirching the American efforts, their actions could only continue to enrage Iraqis with the old regime that's too stubborn to give up. Don't get me wrong; most Iraqis have no love whatsoever for the terrorists and insurgents daily raising the death and damage toll. But it was us who made them rebels rather than a pitiful band of last-ditch guerrilla fighters.
 
Of course, there's also the scenario in which Saddam commits to and Unconditional Surrender and then renegs, leaving us in quite the same position of occupiers being attacked as we are - except one detail: reneging on such a pact would have made the U.N. a much stronger ally. You can guess what language specifically appears in the U.N. charter.
 
It's an interesting intellectual excerise, considering that this war has become largely ensconsed in PR in context of winning the hearts of the Iraqis, securing aid from our allies, and how it will all reflect on Bush come November.
 
As for the Conservatives' accusation of the Bush White House having no sound strategy for the war, I think it's pretty much a given. Bush himself has said that they're playing this by ear in order to maximize their options. I believe former secretary O'Neill in his judgement that Bush is a "blind man in room full of deaf people" concerning the war, but while I understand the importance of a strategy, such an accusation is meaningless unless we can propose one ourselves. It's hard to do, considering that Bush has exclusive rights to the Pentagon guys who help devise such strategies, but without their help, the best we can do is criticize the president for not using them."

First Seth tries to group all conservatives together. However, there are really two camps on the Iraq issue. First there is the paleo-conservatives like Pat Buchanan that advocate a strong isolationist policy. Then there are the neo-conservatives like Tondar, Sean Hannity, or many in the Bush administration. They recognize the importance of trade and wish for the United States to be a force for good and a beacon of hope in the world.

Much of the conservative criticism of Bush is in his policies. But like liberals many of the paleo-conservatives see missteps in Iraq as a chance to bash Bush for launching a war they initially hated. But recently, with the Battle of Fallujah and the prisoner abuse scandal this has opened the door for neo-conservative criticism. Personally I think it is too early to decry "quagmire," but I am worried about Bush's silence on his Iraq policy as well as the way these events have been allowed to spiral to a poiint where the administration's message is drowned out by the cacophony of criticism. The administration needs to take a more pro-active approach, revealing more details of their plan and policy.

As for Seth's idea about an unconditional surrender, I would catalog that one under the same column as winning French support. Bottom line; it just wasn't going to happen. Saddam was only concerned about his own power. With the goal of regime change, there was no way for him to come out ahead. This forced the Baathists into fighting a guerilla war. If you remember during the war, most of the Iraqi Army had been in contact with America before the war and they surrendered without a fight. When the United States declared the end of major military operations, any form of Baathist government had been destroyed giving America a de facto unconditional surrender. The continued fighting can be attributed to jihadists or factionalists interested in establishing their own regime in the wake of an American withdrawl. Like President Bush said we must stay the course, but I think what the nation really needs to hear is, how are we going to pro-actively stay the course.
THE POLITICAL PAYOFF

Seth sent me this link about a medicare kickback from the Republicans. Personally, I'm not too surprised. The Republicans are really becoming the party of staying in power. Instead of focusing on a small government agenda they are playing 3rd way politics and occupying the middle of the political spectrum with legislation that would make Reagan sick. I was against the whole medicare prescription spend-fest from the start. But after years of Democrat Medi-scare campaigns they have finally won their battle putting us on the road to socialized medicine and putting MORE power into the hands of the federal government. It's times like this that both parties make me sick.
RETRO-QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Tondar Oct 2002: I find it's much easier to get up for work when I don't spend the night before working on a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Tondar: What does your rancid butt want for dinner?
QUESTIONS FOR BUSH AND KERRY

From Seth...

"I don't know how much any of you are into environmental politics. But if you are, you can ask both candidates a question. I'm working on that article I've been talking about in which both candidates answer questions from our readers. But basically, I get to pick and choose and re-work the questions they send in. So if you have a burning environmental question and it's open-ended and non-biased, I thought I'd give you guys the opportunity to voice it. I can't control which ones the campaigns choose to answer but I can choose which ones we send. If it makes it through the whole crucible, your name will appear with the question in the magazine."

Well first off, you need to ask them if they can give Tondar a job. It would help ease unemployment and cement my support for the candidate that is paying me.

Secondly, you might wanna ask both camps, with drilling for oil in ANWR stalled in the Senate, does anybody have a plan to reduce American oil dependency on the Middle East. To ole Tondar, it's more of a foreign policy/national security question, but I think it's probably the most important long term goal any administration could tackle. How long must we be slaves to OPEC and the dangers of Jihad via our dependence on Mid East oil?

Monday, May 10, 2004

WHERE ARE THE ALBUM REVIEWS?

Well like I said, I was going to stay on top of the Blogging better with more multi-media rants. Well that was right before I discovered a great internet radio station. If you get the chance check out Cable Radio. It's a great mix of the 60s-today with a focus on the UK's hottest pop. I've really been into it because it reflects alot of my tastes and MP3 collection with classic rock and Euro Pop. Plus there are just alotta good random songs that I've never heard before. Lately I've even been digging on the sound of Maroon 5's "This Love," and the Rasmus' "In The Shadows." I'm not sure about America, but it sounds like Europe is finally starting to move outta the Good Charlotte pop-punk era. That's really wonderful. I can't think of a more retarded trend in music. Take a genre devoted to rebellion and turn it into a mainstream crapfest. At least with Britney Spears, "Baby what you see is what you get." She is not pretending to be a hardass while she's waiting for Mom to get the minivan outta the shop so she can drive the band to get more pics so they can then sing more crappy angst filled songs about how "mom and dad don't understand nothing" because they won't let them listen to Blink 182 on the way to church. You want rebellion, try a little self mutilation on TRL. See how the kids react to that authority. I don't have any problem with simple rock or pop, as long as it doesn't try to violate rules of the genre. I know what some of you are thinking, "But Tondar isn't music about tearing down boundaries and creating new hip sounds?" In theory, yes. But it can't be absolute. Otherwise we may have Pat Boone staying in his Metal Mood.
GREATEST PERFORMANCE EVER

ESPN's page 2 is once again devoting a section to the top NBA playoff moments. However, they only give one sentence to my personal favorite...

"1995 Eastern Conf. Semis, Game 1: Reggie Miller scores 8 points in an 8.9-second span as the Pacers shock the Knicks"

The Knicks were supposed to roll their way back to the 1995 Finals after John Stark's game 7 collapse in the 1994 Finals. However, what they forgot about was Reggie time, as he SINGLE HANDEDLY took over the game, getting the steals and hitting the necessary 3's to steal game 1 in the worst place to play on the road, the "Greatest Sports Arena On Earth," a rockin' Madison Square Garden. This is the type of thing you picture as a kid hoisting up long shots in the driveway pretending that you alone are bringing your team back in the most dramatic way possible. The only difference is that Reggie actually pulled it off on the greatest basketball stage.

On top of that, how could they write a column and not mention Walt Frazier and Willis Reed in game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals. ESPN Classic reran this game last Christmas and it gave me goosebumps when Willis Reed hobbles out to the cheers of a rockin' Madison Square Garden. This is the kind of "Miller Genuine Moment" that has been drilled into my brain.

And since we're talking about playing injured in the Finals, who could forget Isiah Thomas scoring 25 points despite a sprained ankle in the 1988 Finals vs. the Lakers. Everybody knows the Pistons should have won 3 championships. Afterall, they led the 1988 series 3 games to 2 before Isiah went down.

*sigh* ESPN once again, you drop the ball. And just because you control ESPN Classic doesn't mean you have a monopoly on history. Tondar still remembers no matter what you and you "Ministry of Information" try to rewrite or sideline.
GAME 3

Last night I was able to make it to the bar for PBR night and to catch the Pistons game. It was a rather sad effort but it was to be expected when playing the 2 time east champs. If you look at the boxscore Ben Wallace had himself a monster of a game with 24 boards. However, they could just not get anything going on the offensive end. They missed alotta wide open jumpers that they normally make. This really opened up NJ fastbreaks. Plus even when the Nets weren't tearing it up in the transition game, they were hitting some amazing jumpers over tight Pistons coverage. Like Game 2 against the Bucks, there is not much you can do when the other team is that hot and you're as cold as Chauncey, Tayshaun, and Sheed were as the team only shot 28.9% compared to New Jersey's 41.4%. Personally, I'm not too worried as I picked the Pistons to win the series 4-2. If anything I think this is great motivation for them to come out and have a great make up game Tuesday night. The one thing I am worried about was the officiating. I thought it was a little harsh against the Pistons Defense. Now I'm certainly not saying it was as bad as last year's Eastern Conference Finals, but the idea of NJ vs. LA rematch would be ideal for NBA ratings. So let's hope everything gets back on track so the conspiracy theories can stay bottled up.
A DIFFERENT VIEW

Lately I have been showing just how unhinged John Kerry and the Democrats are. However, here is a different view from pollster John Zogby that shows that the election is Kerry's to lose. Personally, I'm not too convinced because I don't think you can rely on pre-9/11 models to predict the 2004 election. In the end independent voters will vote for security and continuing the war on terror, at least for another 4 years. On top of that, never under estimate Georege W. Bush. Contrary to what liberals will tell you, Bush is a smart and shrewd politician (as James puts it..."more Clinton than Clinton) that always has a way of surprising his oponents in the end.