Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

TOO BIG IN THE UK

Check out this story from the UK that says that obesity is affecting them as well. It's frightening to think of, but when socialized medicine comes, these eat-beasts are going to be the ones that tax payers have to support.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

A LOOK WEST

The Pistons won tonight, with a great 20 point effort from Rasheed Wallace. Ole Tondar even went to Manhattan to watch the game at the bar with Miss Andrea of Michigan State. However, the media is a day behind and right now the big story is the officiating in the Western Conference Finals. Phil Jackson wrote the book on getting the officials to call the game his way, though recently Flip Saunders has been observing and learning. Though with Karl Malone's flagrant foul in game 2, it is easy to see where the conspiracy theorists get their ideas that the Lakers are destined to win this series no matter what hapens. Anyways, it certainly does make you long for the East where everything is up for grabs (with New jersey eliminated) and Detroit up 2-1.
RICHARDS RAGE IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Don't you hate it when you're so drunk that Kissinger has to tell the British PM that you'll call him back in the morning.

Money quote: ""Can we tell them no?" Kissinger asked his assistant, Brent Scowcroft, who had told him of the urgent request. "When I talked to the president, he was loaded."
THE DOWNLOW ON BEATING THE PACERS

From my brother Dan...

"The key to the Pistons/Pacers Playoff Series is the play of the post players.  In game one, Jermaine O'neal, Al Harrington, and Jonathan Bender owned the post, enabling the Pacers to get to the Free Throw line almost twice as many times as the Pistons, and thus enabling them to win the game.  In game two, thanks to the great play of Mehmet Okur, Elden Campbell, and Corliss Williamson, especially in the 2nd Quarter, the Pistons were able to get to the line early and often, helping them earn a split in Indiana.  Not all of the scoring needs to come from the post, but the ball needs to be thrown into the paint, and create problems in there for the opposing defense.

For the Pistons to win this series, the other important point is for Tayshaun Prince to continue the defensive mastery of Ron Artest that he showed in Game 2.  Prince was in the head of Artest at the end of game 2, so much so that Artest was throwing up ill-advised shots, committing Offensive fouls, and fouling out with 3 and change to go in the 4th quarter.  Temper tantrums and Technical fouls are sure to follow if Prince can keep up the defensive intensity on Artest.

Prediction:  I think that Prince will ultimately get to Artest, R. Wallace will be the force down low that we desperately need, and the blocking of Multiple shots will continue.

Pistons in Seven."

Dan is right on, though the Pistons don't even need a strong post game of their own to win the series. As long as the Wallaces, Okur, Williamson and the gang keep O'Neil and their bigguns in check, they will have no problem winning this series. The results will be Detroit 66 Indiana 53, which will certainly ignite an ESPN bitch-fest, but the point is to win and that makes Tondar happy.

I'm sticking to my original prediction, Pistons in 6.
LIFE LESSONS FROM THE DAILY SHOW

Check out John Stewart's commencement address to William and Mary College in Williamsburg Virginia. On top of being funny he actually has some good advice...

"College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don’t worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency..."
RICHARDS RAGE IN LOUISIANA

Check out this story of a judge that was thrown off the bench for being a drunkard.

Money quote: "Attorney Charles Whitehead Jr. testified that the drunk judge's decision in one case was to point at him and say, "You win."

KILLING NEW EUROPE

It seems the Paris-Berlin Axis of the EU is at it again. This time Gerhard Schroeder is pushing for Eastern Europe to raise taxes so their economy can be just as stagnant as Germany's. With policies like this it certainly challenges the credibillity of Old Europe's "high road."

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

HERE WE GO AGAIN

After having suffered through "Troy" already this summer, it looks like the Hollywood Crapmobile will be rolling through at full speed on the day after, The Day After Tomorrow. Check out the Fox411 for a scathing review of another $200 million steamer.

Monday, May 24, 2004

ADMITTING LIBERAL BIAS

Check out the result of this Pew survey that shows 34% of the media claiming to be liberal. This of course is huge compared to only 7% claiming to be conservative. The remaining 59% of course claim to be "moderates." But liberals often have a problem admitting their own stand. Rarely do you see a conservative that claims otherwise. However, what is most interesting is the fact the amount of admitted liberals has jumped from 22% to 34% since 1995. While at the same time conservatives have increased only from 5-7%.

Ole Tondar sees two possible reasons for the shift in the data. First, the media has found a way to become even MORE liberal. This is unlikely. What is most likely, is more people in the media are willing to admit their political stand because alternative conservative media has increased to such a point that liberals feel they must represent a vanguard of Marxist and liberal thought to the idiot masses if they are to compete in the free market of ideas. In addition, talk radio and internet sites like the Drudgereport are forcing more people in the media to examine their values on a more realistic political spectrum.

Also check out the disturbing data surrounding what the media thinks of God. I find this to be a much more disturbing and telling statistic than how people view themselves. But of course I have been calling the media liberal for years. And now Seth finally can see the truth for himself.
1001 POSTS

This marks the 1001 posts since Tuesday March 25th, 2003. That was the day things got rolling on the Daily Rant. We've had some fun blasting the liberals, bad mouthing ESPN, and discussing the finer points of Bum Wines and Richards Rage. I just wanted to say thank you to everybody who reads and has contributed posts along the way. Here's to 10,000 more and like television would do, here, here and here is my idea of a clip show.

PS--Sorry I couldn't get Abe Vigoda and Nipsy Russell to stop by for the Anniversary Extravaganza.
FUNNY LOOKIN' FALL GUY

From Seth...

"Mustache, heavy glasses, goofy grin, fall guy for the whole prisoner abuse scandal....oh yeah, this guy's good and screwed."

It's almost too convenient how those that have been responsible for these unpatriotic, idiotic acts of abuse all have a Steve Buscemi-like goofiness about them. Or in this case, looks like a cross between Urkel and the guy on the Pringles can.
NBA HISTORY LESSON

Check it out as ESPN counts down the top 10 conference finals matchups in NBA history. For once, I can't argue with their selections. When it comes to individual games it's much easier to nitpick, but their selections was a good mix of showdowns of the past and present.

Sunday, May 23, 2004

THE TROJAN BORE

Only once every few years is there a movie with the budget and the hype, destined to be an alltime classic until Hollywood turns it into a crapfest that throws Tondar into a fit of rage. The last such movie was 2001's "Pearl Harbor." Michael Bay's epic took a huge historical moment, great special effects, high drama, good cinematography and then threw in a love story that ground the plot to a complete mind boggling hault. Other great Hollywood dissapointments include "Dune," "Heaven's Gate," "Waterworld," and now Wolfgang Petersen's "Troy."

Before I get into what went horribly horribly wrong, let's take a look at what worked. First, it was an epic. This is Tondar's favorite kinda film. Afterall if you're going to make a movie why not make it larger than life with massive sets, an big time actors, all telling a great big story. And the Greek fleet and Priam's city of Troy did not dissapoint. Secondly, I really enjoyed the look of the battle scenes. Wolfgang Petersen borrows Martin Scorsese's editing style from "Gangs of New York" for many of the grizzly blows. This reduces the action down to a series of motions where often the nastiness is implied by a swinging arm and then cutting away to a gushing wound. This maintains a good flow in the sequencing and adds to the drama and intensity of the moment. The final great moment in "Troy" was during a battle scene right before dawn. The lighting on the ancient warriors made them appear grey like the statue, thus calling to mind the great statues of antiquity.

However, it's Petersen's interpretation of antiquity's writing that blows the mind. With "Troy" it should have been easy to make a great timeless movie since it is based on a great timeless book. However, somewhere along the way they feel the audience can't keep up so they dumb down the characters and readjust the action to fit a simpler Hollywood plot. Here is a great list of what exactly they changed. There was one moment that actually made me cry out and about download in my pants when it became so radically different than the book.

It was this difference that led to its greatest problem. In fact, "Troy" reaches a 7 on the unintentional comedy scale with its goofy dialogue and weak attempts to rewrite Homer's great speeches. Another problem was the acting. To put it nicely, it was a bit over the top. Probably the worst performance was by Academy Award winner, Peter O'Toole who played a moaning, "oh crap" faced Priam of Troy who seemed to have taken acting lessons from John Lovitz' "Master Thespian." On top of that one can just see the studio memo, "where are the strong female leads?" as the movie tries desperately to find a strong 21st century rolemodel in a 3,000 year old story about men fighting a war. In fact, the unintentional comedy factor was so high throughout many serious scenes most of the crowd was cracking up at worst and groaning at best.

For all the problems with "Troy," it does have some redeeming value between its epic grandeur and unintentional comedy. These make it worth seeing if you got the time and money to waste. It's funny how Hollywood learns nothing from itself. Mel Gibson had one of history's greatest hit movies with "The Passion Of The Christ" because he simply just folled the Gospels. "Troy" would have been a great hit if Petersen had simply stuck to the "Iliad."

All Movie rating: ***
Tondar's rating: **1/2 (It would have been lower but the unintentional comedy saved this epic)