Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

FREE AGENCY AFOOT

The Dallas Mavericks were the first victims of this year's free agency season. Steve Nash has signed a huge contract with the Phoenix Suns. However, if you listen to Mark Cuban, this is a risky move because Nash's playing time has been and will become even more limited by injuries.

As for the Pistons, they have offered, their mid-level exception to Mehmet Okur. This would pay him $41 million over six years. And since Detroit offered this 12.5% pay increase it basically eliminates Phoenix and New York since they can only offer 10%. Okur is still going to check out the Utah Jazz but the way things stand they would have to offer him a HUGE contract to steal him away from the Pistons.
THE REAGAN MEMORIAL

It was just a matter of time before somebody suggested this idea.
SICKENING

This week the left hit a new low with their parody of a classic Peter Paul Rubens and Francisco Goya painting. I wonder if anybody will do a "Witch's Sabbath" with Michael Moore portrayed as the Great He-Goat. Afterall, Goya not only objected to the incompetent Spanish Monarchy at the beginning of the 19th Century, he also felt the idiot masses were responsible for Spain's decline because of their lack of morals and susceptibility to demagoguary. Nothing like trying to draw a historical analogy with only half of the truth.
PROPAGANDA 9/11

Though Seth is not a fan of Michael Moore, he did not send any posts pointing out the lies in Moore's latest Anti-Bush crapfest either. So check out these sites that breakdown and expose the truth about Condi, Unocal, and the Carlyle Group.

Friday, July 02, 2004

NEW LEGAL TERRITORY

Everybody knows that John Kerry is a bad Catholic. However, nobody dreamed of carrying it to the level of heresey. Now, Rome has alotta politics and legal logistics to sort through thanks to a law suit from an L.A. based Canon lawyer. Whoa, nelly, the cans open and there are worms everywhere!

For ole Tondar this is quite the tossup case. Though I do believe that John Kerry is not the best Catholic. I have problems with this latest witch hunt. If this case succeeds, then are we to find all politicians and people that disagree with the church guilty of heresey? And if so what will be the punishment? It's truly a slippery slope that has no precedent. It will be interesting to see how this one plays out.
NEW RUSH ALBUM

Well it's not exactly a "new album", but Rush's latest release is very solid. It's a collection of their favorite songs they played during their formation. In concert they played, "The Seeker," "Heart Full of Soul," and "Summertime Blues." And they all rocked in a very Rush sorta way. If you have money to burn it won't be wasted on "Feedback." Check it out.
MORE FRENCH TREACHERY

Check out the latest William Safire column to hear more about France's continuing opposition to security and peace in the world. There's also a bit about the "settled" issue of whether Iraq was trying to buy uranium from Niger.

Money quote...

"Chirac takes that gamble because he is afflicted with certitude about this: if freedom fails in Iraq, France's long and profitable protection of Saddam will somehow be justified."

Allies my foot!
THE SCOTCHY-SCOTCH REVOLUTION

"Meet the new boss, same as the old boss"

Ole Tondar is in Atlanta for the weekend and waiting on round 2 of job interviews. So in the meantime, Seth's Soviet Spectacular has been overthrown and the Daily Rant has been revived. With General Johnny Walker at my side and Quadrophenia blasting throughout the house Leftists will be put in their place because Tondar is back baby...YEAH!

Thursday, July 01, 2004

PISTON PRIORITIES

Last night at midnight the NBA free agent season began. Mehmet Okur and Rasheed Wallace are the top priorities for the defending champs. However, the Pistons really need a decision from Sheed before they can decide whether or not to keep Okur. So look for the Pistons to either keep Sheed or Okur. Of course the hands-down choice is Sheed but he is leaving that decision in the hands of his family so it's quite possible the decision could be based on which city has the best shopping.
SHRINKAGE, TEE HEE

From the Seth Archives 6/18/04...

Sometimes my own sophmoric humor surprises me. That, or some of the writers I have to edit are so oblivious to the world that they don't realize what they're writing.

Today, I was performing primary copy edits on a feature story to appear in Security Magazine's August 1 issue that describes how companies are using external auditing of their security video to cut down on employee theft or, as the industry terms it, "shrinkage."

The article goes on to talk about numerous "solutions for cutting down on shrinkage," "shrinkage protection systems," "businesses today are becoming increasingly aware of the shrinkage problem" and my personal favorite, "shrinkage annually costs Johnson's company an estimated $1.8 million."

Not to knock on anyone's major, but communications degrees just don't seem to be what they used to.

That or I just need to grow up - but who would ever want to get to a point where this wasn't so hilarious.
ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

From the Seth archives 6/18/04

What is it with hardcore Judaism and loose women?

First they claim Kimmy, then Paris Hilton, and now href="http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040618/ap_en_mu/mado
nna_esther_4">Madonna
(or Esther as I guess she's called now)!

If you want to know what the Queen of Pop just signed onto, href="http://www.jewfaq.org/kabbalah.htm">here's a pretty accurrate
and to-the-point description of Kabbalah and Jewish teachings. It
actually ties into that big e-mail conversation we had last year about
the difference between Christians and Jews - namely that the stuff like
what happens after death, are there angels, are there miracles, etc.,
which Christians use to define their beliefs, are in Judaism just
intellectual pursuits of the very wise and left up to interpretation.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

NBA DRAFT RUNDOWN

Check out The Sports Guy's running diary of this years NBA draft, as he puts foreigners, highschoolers, and the Clippers in their place. My favorite part is the comparison of Elgin Baylor to Nipsey Russell. I made the same exact comment as Baylor was trying to justify the eternal suckiness of the Clippers.

Money Quote: 8:45 -- My dad's take on Stephen A. Smith: "I feel like I'm being yelled at."

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

RED NECK RADIO

Ole Tondar was driving back from a job interview today when I caught this exchange on Atlanta radio...

Dude: I just got off of house arrest today. Can you play some Boston?

DJ: House arrest? Did you have to wear one of those tethers? What did you get that for?

Dude: DUI, but Im free now. WOOOOO!

DJ: So you wanna grab a beer later?

Dude: Hells YEAH!

DJ: Well congrats my man, and here's a little Boston to celebrate your release from house arrest.

Dude: ROCK AND ROLL! WOOOOO!

yes, rock and roll indeed my friend.
LAST NIGHT FROM THE BEDROOM

From Seth...

"I probably should have just gotten up and chilled for all the sleep I got. Half-asleep highlights from last night:

12:10 a.m. - House realizes that Jason and Crazy Ken are twins. eerie.

12:18 a.m. - Catholic/Protestant sinod taking place in Seth & Jason's room until interrupted by One Who Does Not Belond. As Eupheseus Aurelianus would have put it so eloquently in 308 A.D. (co-inky-dink of a date, right?), "Who invited the Jew?" Sinod breaks up. Begin period of attempting to sleep.

12:45 a.m. - Fro Ben and Nate voices loudly discussing computer shit in kitchen get shoe thrown at them. But shoe-a-pult is stopped by door and the talking continues. Seth considers chucking the only other thing handy, the first book of the Dark Tower series, but instead sits up and re-reads the part about the tarot cards being turned over until noise ends.

1:11 a.m. - Hear Jason banging on bathroom door yelling "anyone in there? Are you dead in there?"

1:18 a.m. - Jason finally realizes the door is just locked, begin period of annoyingly loud attempts to unlock the damn bathroom door

1:31 a.m. - Crazy Ken uses his Batman skills to pick lock, period of annoyingly loud attempts to unlock the damn bathroom door ends.

1:32 to 2:10 a.m. - Sleep attained.

2:11 a.m. - Sleep interrupted by very loud conversation concerning what sounded like the importance of voting. It was much like the old Eric and Ben Bernier loud-ass night-chats except Nancy had seemingly been replaced by a talking squirrel.

2-something-I didn't bother to look a.m. - Door opens and is filled with large frame of The Watcher. The Watcher stands in the doorway for a minute before I say, "what's up." He responds in kind. "You just get home?" I ask. The Watcher replies, "yeah." So I tell The Watcher "goodnight" and he shuts the door.

2:40 a.m. - House shakes. I don't know why. (Perhaps the talking squirrel and its adversary were throwing fireballs at eachother?) There's shouting coming in from the window.

3:10 a.m. - Door swings open again and slightly smaller frame fills it. The Bringer of News is standing with his legs apart as if he's not sure he can stay upright. So I let out a big-ass fart. The Bringer of News half says, half spits, "that's cgool guy." Then he stumbles forward, swinging his arms haphazardly and muttering incoherently about cops shutting down 5th street for a drug bust, cops shouting with guns at cars to stop, cops using dogs to sniff peoples' crotches.....I'm not sure I caught everything....the Bringer of News stumbles back through door.

4-something-or-other (minutes on alarm clock were blocked by Bringer of News) - the Bringer of News loudly bangs door open, then turns to nobody in the kitchen and hushes them because I'm trying to sleep. Thanks, Bringer of News. What a guy. Bringer of News then stumbles to the french doors, shushes himself for stumbling and door opening noises, tries to collapse, then shambles back out to shut front door. Darkness finally takes 308, sleep finally attained.

5:55 a.m. - Seth wakes for work. Is tired and not sure why. Sees what looks to be the bones of a small animal on a plate on front porch and guesses they must have sacrificed the talking squirrel.

I know it sounds like I'm bitching, but I'm really going to miss this house."

Monday, June 28, 2004

MONTANA ACTUALLY HAS AN IDEA

From the Seth Archives 6/18/04...

"We should do the same thing to mark where shenanigans have occurred throughout Ann Arbor.

I could probably remember every place I've ever puked in this town."

This is actually a great idea. I would like to nominate 628, 308, Phi Psi, and the house from freshman year where the Good Pirate first struck as the first Shenanigan Historical sites.