Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, July 17, 2004


Give these a whirl and then email me your results. The first is a political compass that tells where you are on a 2D political spectrum. Turns out Tondar is an authoritarian right winger with coordinates of...

Economic Left/Right: 4.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 2.56

Though personally I'm not too big on this compass thing. The questions were odd. And I did not agree with the placement of George W. Bush (too far right), Pope John Paul II (too authoritarian), and myself (I consider myself further to the right and far more libertarian).

But anyways check out this second poll. Turns out I'm more of an Ashley.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004


Sheed has resigned with the Pistons. Now only injuries can keep the Pistons from repeating.

From the Frank Archives 7/12/04...

Actual British complaint letter. The piece suggests two things:
1) Americans and Canadians are not the only ones who get poor service from their ISP, cable and/or alarm companies. (NTL is a cable operator in Britain).
2) The Brits probably write the world's best letters of complaint.

Dear Cretins:

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for four-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, telephone, and alarm monitoring. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service
which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative and seek to rectify these difficulties -- or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.

My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website. HOW?

I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes -- an activity at which you are no doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -- such as a drill-bit and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over four weeks my modem arrived, six weeks after I had requested it -- and begun to pay for it. I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35% -- the hours between about 6 pm and midnight, Monday through Friday and most of the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection.

I have made nine calls on my mobile to your no-help line and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals who are, it seems, also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answering machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman. And several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore and also another one of those crucially important testicle moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care. It's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought British Telecom was crap; that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations; and that no one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NT and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there?

How surprised I therefore was when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum, incompetents of the highest order. BT -- wankers though they are -- shine like brilliant beacons of success in the filthy mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy.

Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver. Any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief and will quickly be replaced by derision and even perhaps bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cat's litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit -- they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL and its worthless employees.

Have a nice day. May it be the last in your miserable short lives, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twits.

May you rot in Hell,
Robert Stokes

This is Tondar's first day, if he tells you to do something, you do it.

Monday, July 12, 2004


From Pigpen...

"Joe has led us astray. Darko so far has been a very expensive and now injured towel boy. Why pass up Carmello for Darko? Build for future or what have you, bull - build for now. Granted they did win a championship post Darko, but it is still a very expensive peice of personel not doing anything, or possibly capable of anything."

Darko is certainly a project but I would expect for him to step up and actually contribute SOMETHING this year. Remember when the Titans drafted Steve McNair? It took him YEARS to come along and adapt to the pro game before he set the standard as the first successful run and gun QB. Remember Darko was a raw 18 year old Croat. Even if he is one of the all time greats, he will not hit his prime for another 10 years!

When adding McDyess to the Darko situation, it make more sense. McDyess is being brought into do what Darko might not be capable of yet. Between the 2 of them, you want a little over 10 ppg and 10 rpg. That seems very likely between the two of them considering McDyess is a 6 and 7 guy. Between them they can easily fill the void left by Mehmet. The more I think about the McDyess move the more I'm OK with it.

And as for Darko, give him until he is 22. And if he is pulling the Kwame Brown and not averaging a double-double. THEN Dumbass has splainin' to do.

From James...

"Hmm, i have trouble finding your thesis seth. do you agree or disagree that file sharing is hurting album sales? i also disagree with this statement: "Kids are broke". kids represent a demographic with the largest free time and also a large amount of disposable income. check this out. Pretty disgusting eh? kids drive the music industry because they have purchasing power, and they have free time to listen to albums, download mp3s, talk about music, watch mtv, etc. adults don't have the time to follow music trends, and often have a constricted budget that doesn't allow the collection of ephemeral cd collections, because they are parents. eminem's last album was downloaded by millions of people before its release, but that didn't stop him from topping the charts and selling countless millions. i believe that the consumer culture prevents the youth from eschewing purchasing cds from stores entirely. if you're hanging out at the mall all day, you might as well buy something while you're there, right? old people, on the other hand, represent a dead end in the music industry. bob dylan never stopped making new albums, but his fans stopped following his music because they had families to raise, which costs time and money.

i personally believe that file sharing has hurt record sales of major labels. it does serve as a promotional tool for new bands, but i personally don't see it being more effective than a band simply posting a few mp3s on their website to promote themselves. mp3s may be the ally of the independent musician, but the music industry has good reason to hate file sharing. hey, maybe they can con people into buying mp3's, right? hahaha."

Pigpen on the trippy traveler from Delaware...

""In Canaan, he decided to climb Music Mountain to see what was on the other side, police said."

To see what was on the other side?!

It's a freaking mountain - who care. I know that the bear went over the mountain to see what he could see, but neo-hippies are usually way too lazy for most physical activity."


Looks like that Pistons are about to sign the journeyman and walking injury known as Antonio McDyess. He certainly was a good player back in the day. But once again I question Joe Dumars' move. Sure, we will get a guy that averages 7 pts and 6 boards a game (that's plenty to replace Okur's numbers post-Sheed). But the contract seems a little big for my taste. I guess we will have to wait and see, though keep in mind where has Joe led us astray in the past, (nowhere).

You start in Delaware with a bag of shrooms, then 300 miles, two stolen cars, and a mountain climb later, you pack it in and call it an adventure.

From Dennis Rodman to Sean Penn, we've always heard stories about Madonna doing someone. Now come reports of Madonna actually doing someone in. Check out how her prima donna attitude gave director John Schlesinger a heart attack. Better stay away from this one Seth, sounds like she has the kiss of death.

Sunday, July 11, 2004


So the Lakers finally found a sucker willing to take Shaq and his $30 million a year contract. The Miami heat only had to give up the core of their solidly defensive minded team in Bryan Grant, Caron Butler, and Lamar Odom. So that leaves them with Dwayne Wade and an aging Shaq. Can they make a run at the Pistons? Is Shaq too old? ESPN's page 2 has a surprisingly thoughtful analysis of Shaq's stats compared to some of the other great centers of all time. It's definitely worth checking out if you disagree with Tondar and don't think that Shaq is too fat and a downward spiral of injuries waiting to happen.

France is at it again. Sure, it was muslim immigrants responsible for the latest attack on a woman and her baby. However, you don't see this sort of thing happening in America. In fact, following Sept 11, there was only 1 hate crime committed and the guy turned out not even to be a muslim (so said Dennis Miller Friday night). It certainly says alot about French depravity to humanity to allow this to happen only 60 years after the 3rd Reich. Though on the other hand, France is the same country that formed the Vichy government, and tried to keep the Iraqi people under the tyranny of Saddam, so allowing terror to thrive can be considered a national characteristic for them.