Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

MIAMI HEAT

With Shaq and a 4 and a half game lead over Detroit in the standings, this is ESPN's favorite team in the "Leastern Conference." And they certainly look to be loading up, adding Steve Smith and decrepit Alonzo Mourning as solid roll players. However, Tondar still has to wonder if Dwayne Wade, Eddie Jones, and Damon Jones are gonna be a strong enough supporting cast to do to Detroit what last year's Lakers couldn't do with Kobe and Gary Payton. In addition, if Fat-Shaq's weight catches up with him and he gets popped by the injury train (look at the Heat's 2 game losing streak this week thanks to Shaq's knee sprain), I don't see this team having enough fire power to keep up with the Pistons. In addition, nobody seems to wanna point out that the Heat rank 13th in the league (96.5 ppg) in points allowed. This could really come to bite them in the rear once the grind it out style of the NBA playoffs takes hold. Even Chicago, Cleveland, and New Jersey play better defense. Though this is certainly not a team I would wanna face in the playoffs, this could very easily be a paper giant that capable of a collapse for the ages once the supporting cast gets shut down by a team that actually DOES play defense.
BOSTON CELTICS

It's ironical that Antoine Walker would ask to be traded to a contender and then be happy to be back in Boston with his "ole pal" GM Danny Ainge. It will be interesting to see if he can continue to ballhog it up with 19 shots a game. But on the other hand this will most certainly make Boston a better team and combined with Paul Pierce again make Boston one of the more dangerous teams to face in the playoffs (remember when these two got hot and dismantled Artest, O'Neil and the Indiana Pacers back in the 2003 playoffs?). But in the meantime, this is a great move. It allows Ainge to stay competitive while only taking one nasty expiring contract in the middle of his rebuilding program. Though, I don't think they have hit rock bottom enough to pickup that awesome franchise altering player i.e. Yao Ming, Tim Duncan, LeBron James, it looks like they have a great plan to be a mediocre contender for years to come (it's more than you can say for the Knicks, Hawks, and Hornets these days).
NEW YORK KNICKS

The New York Post did what it does best and ripped into the Knicks as once again did not perform at the Yankee-elite level of professional sports. Peter Vecsey, trying to write like the Sports Guy, except with an extra chromosome, ripped into Isiah Thomas for all the same things I've been pointing out for the last year. And once again, we see Thomas in perfect form as he takes on lengthy highpriced contracts that nobody else in the league wants. Either he has a deal worked out with David Stern to win the draft lottery, he is completely incompetant, or he has some vendetta against the Knicks and is gonna run their team directly into the ground before giving them the 2 finger salute and heading off to coach for a real contender. It surely must be one of these things as the Isiah Thomas/Knicks trainwreck rolls on. But in the meantime, I will watch with a smile while he runs the Knicks into the ground and the screams of the NYPost will fall on deaf ears. He he schadenfreude :)
THE WESTERN CONFERENCE
SAN ANTONIO SPURS

This is the team to beat this season. Plus after they gave Isiah Thomas a BFing to acquire the solid Nazr Muhammed for Malik Rose and a couple of VERY LOW first round draft picks, there's no reason to think anyone in the West is gonna be able to knock off Tim Duncan and Co. They play the best defense in the league, plus they gotta great supporting cast of all-star calliber players in Ginobli and Parker. Unless they get popped by the injury train look for them to continue to roll right through the regular season and deep into the playoffs.
HOUSTON ROCKETS

This team is really starting to put itself together. Though I don't think they quite have enough to challenge San Antonio this year, they are laying a great foundation that will most certainly make them one of the future Western Conference elites (along with Seattle and Memphis). Plus, with a bit of luck and Jeff Van Gundy's emphasis on defense, this team could make some noise this postseason especially if the current matchup holds and they have to play offensive minded Seattle in the first round.
PHOENIX SUNS

This is ESPN's favorite team of the year. Look for that to be enough to give Steve Nash the MVP (assuming he doesn't get totally destroyed by the injury train before that). This offensive jaugernaut plays an up and down style of Slamma-jamma-in-yo-face basketball that hasn't been seen in the NBA in a few years. It's exciting to watch but it's not gonna win them many championships. Plus, when the wheels fall off Nash and he becomes a Penny Hardaway/Allen Houston, gobbling up a HUGE contract for being on the injured reserve, look for this team to stagnate and become a perennial 3-6 seed before the next round of rebuilding begins. But in the meantime, look for them to continue to tear it up in the regular season before getting upset in the first round of the playoffs. Especially right now, they would play Mike Fratello's defensive minded Grizzlies. With them being the 3rd best defensive team in the league right now. It is not a stretch of the imagination to predict that this group of defensive minded playoff veterans will easily stick it to the offense only Suns. Sorry guys, you win the Steve Francis Award as this year's most over-rated team.
SEATTLE SUPERSONICS

This is kinda the feel good team of the year, especially being an NBA Live style "let 'er rip" 3 point threat. However, for as good as they are, don't expect them to make much noise once the playoffs roll around. This is a young team that is actually limited by the slow grind it out style of Tondar-playoff basketball. But in the years to come, if they can retain Ray Allen and get some bigman help, this team is certainly creepin' on the come-up. Think of them as about the equivalent of some of those early Sacramento Kings teams that gave the Shaq-Kobe Lakers so much trouble.
SACRAMENTO KINGS

Getting rid of Chris Webber was a great move. If you remember last year, they were on a roll until he came back and disrupted the Stojakovic centered offense. Though they have been hit by injuries this year, this should place them amongst the elite in the Western Conference. This will most certainly be a case of addition by subtraction now that Webber's prima donna and shoot first attitudes are outta Sac-town. In addition, alotta sources have been down on the Kings for letting Webber go for a handful of rarely used roll players. However, Kenny Thomas and Corliss Williamson are no slouches and should fit in nicely as complimentary players while Stojakovic, Brad Miller, Jackson and Bibby become the focus of a more team oriented Kings game.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

PIC OF THE DAY

Tondar's new hero...


"My big advantage over other people is that I've always been less mature than my age. Even though my body is old and I can barely walk, mentally I'm still 12." -- Doug Moe

 Posted by Hello
CAN'T GET YOUR HEAD AROUND IT WATCH

"Phillips accuses Dr. Sharon Irons of a "calculated, profound personal betrayal" after their affair six years ago, saying she secretly kept semen after they had oral sex, then used it to get pregnant."


What do you wanna bet the good Dr. Irons is a "strong independant woman" that wants men to respect her for achievements and ignore her underhanded ploys to get all knocked up and trap herself a good lawyer of a husband. At least he can sue for emotional distress in the matter.
But seriously, ain't that a B.
30 TEAM MONTY

WOW! What a day for trades! Of course this totally flies in the face of ESPN "Insider" Chad Ford and all his talk of few trades this year. But anyways, I think after today and the all star break, this may be enough to shift the balance of power back to the east in the NBA considering that Detroit, Miami, Philadelphia, and LeBron are all in the same conference.

I will give a much better rundown of how I see the NBA unfolding in the second half Friday night featuring several team by team breakdowns.

But on a personal note, I read about the Weber trade at work in the AJC today. However, there were no stories on ESPN about it when I got home. In spite of that, I got a call from Seth, in Paris France, of all places. He was totally pumped about the trade and what this does for the 76ers and the East. He also went on to tell me about a drunk driver near the Louvre rear-ending a cop that was administering a sobriety test on another motorist. *sigh* Lucky Seth! Wish I was in Europe, even if I did have to put up with the stupid French (naauuw).
A MAN OF DAR-ING INSPIRATION

Today at lunch I was reading the AJC and came across this gem on the Hawks page. This sounds like a coach after Tondar's heart. Sure, he doesn't play much defense, but check out some of these interesting quotes from the article...

"Moe is eight months removed from a heart attack and bypass surgery. He said he is feeling well and that his cardiologist approved of the move, but not his wife, "Big Jane."


Women certainly don't like being called "Big," even if they do happen to be your wife. However, I can totally relate to using this terminology, being the son of "Big Ed."

"Because I'm stupid, or something like that," he said when asked to explain his return."


Nothing like a smart-mouthed S.O.B. putting the media in their place. Of course the ESPN piece on this guy wasn't as good as the AP. So I included that one here for all y'all too lazy to pretend to sign up for the AJC. Also, consider if he were to replace the word "Stiff" with "Cocksucker" he would be taking ANOTHER play right outta Tondar's Book. Yeah, Tondar's certainly down with Doug Moe...

Big Stiff Back on the Bench for Nuggets
By EDDIE PELLS
AP Sports Writer

DENVER — The Big Stiff is back on the bench for the Denver Nuggets.

At the behest of his good friend, head coach George Karl, Doug Moe agreed to return to the sideline to serve as a Nuggets assistant for the rest of the season.

"Because I'm stupid, or something like that," he said when asked to explain his return.

Wearing what he called his "emergency suit" — a natty navy coat and pants with a formal red tie — the winningest and most colorful coach in Nuggets history sat beside Karl for Denver's 107-86 victory over the Boston Celtics on Wednesday, a nice debut that looked a lot like something out of Moe's coaching heyday.

Karl took over the Denver job Jan. 27 and decided he wanted help from the guy he called a "mentor," a "guru," and a "mean, big brother."

Both played at North Carolina. Moe, who went 432-357 with the Nuggets from 1980-90, gave Karl his first job, back in the 1970s as his assistant at San Antonio.

For the last three years, Moe has served as a coaching consultant for the team, but much of that time was spent deep in the background. Former coach Jeff Bzdelik didn't really want to employ his running, passing style of play, so Moe only spoke up when asked.

Now, though, he is being asked to do more, as the Nuggets — who began the night four games out of eighth place in the Western Conference — try to go on a late run to make the playoffs.

"It was just great," Karl said of his first night with Moe on the bench. "He's got spirit and a sarcastic energy and it's great for me to have him around."

Moe replaced Michael Cooper on the bench.

Cooper, who took the interim coaching job for 14 games after Bzdelik was fired, will be reassigned within the team. Karl said he made the move because the staff he inherited spent too much time looking back at the team's rough start.

"And I'm a future kind of guy," Karl said.

Strangely, though, he reached into the past, bringing the 66-year-old elder-statesman back into the fold to act as a second set of eyes and ears on the bench.

"I used to have a pretty good feel on the bench for what's going on," Moe said. "Ask me if I do now, I have no idea."

Moe is eight months removed from a heart attack and bypass surgery. He said he is feeling well and that his cardiologist approved of the move, but not his wife, "Big Jane."

"I wouldn't say it was unanimous," he said.

He promises, however, to be nothing like the ranting, raving, foul-mouthed guy he often was in his decade of success as a head coach.

Never a slave to fashion, Moe would pace the sideline wearing a rumpled blue or brown jacket, no tie and a shirt with the top few buttons open.

Alternately working the refs and his own players, Moe would yell and berate pretty much everyone, although he saved the most corrosive criticism for guys like Danny Schayes, Bill Hanzlik and Kiki Vandeweghe, the current general manager who played a role in luring Moe back.

"I'm excited Doug is back on the bench," Vandeweghe said. "As long as he doesn't yell at me, it's OK."

Moe was fond of calling pretty much everyone a "stiff" — often as a term of endearment, but not always.

One of his more infamous moments included his ejection from a 1983 game after throwing a cup of water on an official. Also that year, he got fined after instructing the Nuggets not to play defense over the final 72 seconds of a 156-116 loss to Portland. His theory: The team hadn't played any defense to that point, so with the Blazers trying to set a team scoring record, why start then?

Will the stress turn him into that same guy again?

"No. I thought about it for a little bit," he said. "But I think the stress goes to the head coach."

But, he said, "just being around, the closer you get, the more stress you put on yourself."

Moe prided himself on never calling a set play, and using the passing game and pressure defense to keep the pace up-tempo. The Nuggets won two division titles and made it to the conference finals once. The whole time, they played high-scoring, entertaining basketball — a style probably not completely possible in this day of more-athletic, more defensive-minded teams.

"I'm not going to say I'm totally going to the passing game," Karl said. "But I'd like this team to play more the way it did when Doug Moe was here."

When he was fired in 1990, Moe said goodbye his way — uncorking a bottle of champagne at his news conference, celebrating the fact that he would start getting paid for doing nothing.

And now that he's back on the bench ...

"I haven't been thrown out of a game in a long time," Karl said, acknowledging the likelihood Moe would take over if it happened.

And if Karl ever comes close?

"He ain't getting kicked out," Moe insisted. "I'll go out there and tackle him before he gets a second `T.'"

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

NO DEPOSIT, NO RETURN

In honor of the original "Clown Hair" coming to visit, I swung by the liquor store in preparation. I was able to pick up two 12 packs of PBR longnecks for $6.99 a piece. That's right, you kids in the Milwaukee distribution area. Those are 24 of the big boy bottles of Pabst Blue Ribbon for $13.98 (in city dollars) and I don't have to wait for Pigpen to schlep the box back up to Houghton next time he bends it through that neck of the woods. Not bad for the Dirty South.

We're gonna be talkin' baby snakes black as sack cloth of hair ALL weekend long baby.
AMERICA'S CONCERT

From Brado...

"I just got back from seeing Ted Nugent and Toby Keith at the Breslin Center. What a great concert. Nugent is priceless. Telling everyone from Michael Moore to the UN to "kiss his ass" Then for his finale he drops down a big cardboard Saddam Hussein and puts an arrow in his chest from about 50 yards out. Later, before leaving the stage he picks up a bow and rifle and holds them high while screaming, "I got my American dream right here"

Finally, after "this guy named Toby Keith" played for a while, Nugent wraps up the night with a rip roaring electric guitar National Anthem, a la Jimmy Hendrix before
bidding us adieu with a salute. Go America!"
WORK DIALOGUE WATCH

Mitzi: You better watch it, cuz you gonna get it!

Tondar: What are you gonna give me?

Mitzi: Oh, don't even start! You booty. You SO booty and you know it!

Tondar: OK
PIC OF THE DAY

Look Who's coming to visit Tondar in the A. T. L. this weekend. Yep, it's gonna be one of THOSE kinda weekends!


DOMO ORIGATO MR. CROWBOTO
DOMO ORIGATO MR. CROWBOTO
DOMO ORIGATO MR. CROWBOTO Posted by Hello
THE SPORTS GUY'S ALL STAR AWARDS

Be sure to swing by ESPN and check out Bill Simmons rundown of the NBA All Star Weekend and game. My favorite quotes...

"At the annual commissioner's press conference, watching David Stern demolish players' union rep Billy Hunter was like seeing Pacino doing the "Heat" diner scene with Nipsy Russell."


Can anyone other than the Sports Guy reference Nipsy Russel with such perfect comedic timing?

And Omar...

"If you're a 6-foot-9 guy who could pass for an NBA player, spend two grand on an Armani suit, fly yourself to the NBPA party next February, load up on some Viagra, then tell every girl you meet that you're a reserve forward on the Raptors or Hornets. There's a decent chance you could have sex 35 times in three hours."


Not saying that you should, but you certainly could pull it off my man.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Rasheed Wallace: "When it comes down to it, we'll smack 'em in the mouth with the trophy again."


And to think this is the older, more mellow 'Sheed.
PIC OF THE DAY


Tondar's tummy still hurts. Can I get a hug :( Posted by Hello

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

SPAIN'S KINDA DOWN WITH THE EU

Spain just held Europe's first referendum to approve the new EU Constitution. This shoulda been a slam dunk, due to Spain's broad commitment to multilateralism. You see in Spain the people welcome the new EU for 2 reasons. First, Spanish government has proven itself to be very inept in satisfying the people. From the enlightenment era douchebag King Carlos IV, on through Franco, and to todays terrorist induced socialist government, Spain has had very few great leaders in the modern era. Secondly, Spain is a big fan of the EU because being one of the poorer nations they collect many subsidies. Yes, like America's inner dependence upon big government Democrats, the Spanish like their EU hookup.

In spite of ALL of this. Check out the numbers from the referendum.

Counted votes: 93.54%

Turnout: 42.43%

Yes: 76.49%

No: 17.43%


It certainly leaves much to be desired for a "multilateralist" approach to Europe. Considering only 76.5% of 42.5% voted to turn their sovreignty over to Brussels hardly makes this a democratic mandate for Spain. In addition, it really throws into question how referendums in France and Great Britain will unfold. If Spain can't even get a mandate, how will Blair or Chirac get plurality?
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Last week I was at Big Lots picking up several of the BA cans of Del Monte mandarin oranges ($.69) when I accidently grabbed a can of grapefruit. Well tonight, I was feeling a little hungry and decided to give it a whirl.

UGH!!

I don't know how people can eat that ass-fruit. Yeah, I managed to choke it down, but I would much rather chug a bottle of vodka (Heaven Hill or 5 O'Clock) then touch grape fruit again. *shiver*
THE CANADIAN THEOCRACY

Check out this piece from NRO about Canadian anti-speech laws. Money quote:

"Even the most zealous advocates of freedom of expression often feel uncomfortable defending the right to engage in Holocaust denial or to propagate degrading pornography. But, not surprisingly, the inevitable result of allowing these initial speech restrictions has been the gradual but significant growth of censorship and suppression of civil liberties across Canada."


Now, this is all done in the name of political correctness and liberalism. However, since in the eyes of the typical secularist liberal, these high minded ideals are concrete and should never be challenged. Thus it becomes government's duty to prosecute violators (often devote Christians) for thought crimes against these ideals. What is most ironic is that these same people that claim to reject religion in favor of statism, are the ones leading the witch hunt to force everybody to conform the THEIR ideology.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

PIC OF THE DAY


UGH! Tondar's not feeling too well :( Posted by Hello
THE BUSH TAPES

Though it's not cool to betray the president's trust. It is kinda cool to hear the more candid words of George W. Bush. My favorite is his bad mouthing of Steve Forbes.

Money quote...

"Steve Forbes is going to hear this message from me. I will do nothing for him if he does to me what he did to Dole. Period. There is going to be a consequence. He is not dealing with the average, you know, 'Oh gosh, let's all get together after it's over.' I will promise you, I will not help him. I don't care."


What I personally find quite remarkable about this is how the "idiot" (as the left is fond of saying) is able to walk this line between the Christian right and the mainstream middle. I think historically this will be one of the most important things Bush will be remembered for from a political science standpoint, as we will someday reflect on his ablitiy to pull together this vast right wing coalition that has completely marginalized the Democrats as the party of the far left.
THE WORST OF THE FIRST HALF

If you're sick of ESPN blowing smoke up the ass of Steve Nash and Phoenix Suns, check out this piece from SI that takes a look at the worst of the 04-05 NBA season so far. Also be sure to check out the last page with some FANtastic quotes from Grant Hill, Dikembe, and the following gem from Alston.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Raptors point guard Rafer Alston:

"She told Rob [Babcock] she's bringing a belt, an extension cord and a hammer. If you don't see me sitting down on the bench you'll understand why."


OK ole Tondar can understand the Belt. But WTF with regard to the extension cord and hammer.