Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Thursday, March 24, 2005


Did I ever mention I'm allergic to cats? Posted by Hello

Despite years of blatant goonery it looks like John Chaney will be coaching Temple basketball next year. Dickie V. thinks it's a good idea. However Seth would disagree...

"Why bring him back? I don't care if it's Coach K, if he turns a kid into a goon, he's fired. They fire coaches for way too much today, I think, but this is one of those obvious times.

By the way, how funny would it be to splash water on Chaney's face and then cry "I'm melting, I'm melting"

I think there are two reasons Chaney got to keep his job. First, he apologized immediately. That carries alotta weight with today's society and media so people are able to get away with a lot more even if they are terrible people. Afterall, Dickie V. wants us to "look at his whole body of work and appreciate what he has meant to the sport..." My favorite thing he did for the sport was challenge UMass coach John Calipari to a fight after a game. I think I watched Sportscenter about 6 times that day.

Secondly, Chaney keeps the money rolling. We know college sports is about money not integrity and Chaney is the one bright spot that Temple athletics have.

But hopefully this will send a message..."Dont go play for the melty man he-a Carazay!"

So the other day the old clown-haired woman that shares a cubicle next to me (yeah, there are two people crammed into one slot), was wearing fish-net stockings with her business suit. This of course begged the question, how professional are fishnets?

Allison weighs in...

"fish-nets professional?? Well, if you caught me about a year ago I might say yes. In most cases my answer would be no. Plus fish-nets only look good with boots, and boots aren't very professional. It also depends on the office; in a doctors office, lawyer's office, anything having to do with the law or health care... well that's a definite no-no. Yet in a more creative field, art, furniture, music, it would be more socially acceptable, but only if they were tight knit fish-nets. The closer together the weave is, the less one tends to look like a whore. Wow, that's a lot about fish-nets!"

For the record gramma's weave was big enough to slip silver dollars in there.

Oh Boy, it's gonna be one of THOSE kinda weekends. Posted by Hello

Via Seth...

"Already written script, scantily clad female, action, popular character, Marvel Super Hero movies raking in the dough for rival, Sony, how could Warner Brothers NOT do a Wonder Woman movie. Before I read the article, let me guess, they got Joel Silver to produce it?"

Whedon Woos "Wonder Woman"

Joss Whedon has tackled ghastly aliens and dastardly vampires. So why not work on something Wonder-ful?

The Buffy the Vampire Slayer mastermind has officially lassoed the writing and directing job on Warner Bros.' big-screen version of Wonder Woman, the studio announced Thursday.

"We are excited about working with Joss," Warner Bros. Pictures President Jeff Robinov said in a statement. "He brings great energy and creativity to the process."

Added Whedon: "Wonder Woman is the most iconic female heroine of our time, but in a way, no one has met her yet. What I love most about icons is finding out what's behind them, exploring the price of their power."

Whedon has a thing for iconic female hero types, considering he dreamed up kick-ass vampire nemesis Buffy and helped write the script for Alien: Resurrection, featuring the E.T.-battling Sigourney Weaver.

The live-action Wonder Woman will be produced by Leonard Goldberg and Joel Silver, the Hollywood mogul responsible for setting up the The Matrix trilogy at Warner Bros.

"When Joel and I began discussing the character, I realized there is a woman behind the legend who is very fascinating, very uncompromising and in her own way almost vulnerable," says Whedon. "She's someone who doesn't belong in this world, and since everyone I know feels that way about themselves, the character clicked for me."

Created by DC Comics' Charles Moulon during World War II, Wonder Woman was the first female super to score her own comic book. Wonder Woman is the alter ego of Amazon princess Diana, who lives on the uncharted Paradise Island. When a pilot named Steve Trevor crashes nearby, Diana rescues him. Upon learning of the battle with the Nazis, Diana returns with Trevor to help topple Hitler.

She derives her superhuman strength from a magic belt, can deflect bullets with her bracelets, uses her tiara like a boomerang and has a golden lariat that forces people to tell the truth. She also flies around in an invisible plane.

The original comic was set in the 1940s, as was the first season of the Lynda Carter-starring TV series in 1976. In the subsequent two season, however, the show was updated to the present day.

Whedon is still trying to work out the details of his script, including the setting and how to make Wonder Woman palatable to movie-going audiences that generally don't dig female superheroes (Catwoman and Elektra, anyone?).

It's not the first time Warner Bros. has attempted to resurrect Wonder Woman. Six years ago, the studio put out a nationwide casting call for a statuesque beauty to fill the spangled bustier in a TV remake, but that project was eventually shelved due to script problems.

No word yet on who'll play Whedon's leading lady Diana, but the Internet rumor mill has been churning out names like Rosario Dawson, Jessica Biel, Buffy vets Charisma Carpenter and Eliza Dushku, and even Kim Basinger, for an older, wiser Wonder Women.

Warners didn't announce a timetable for the new Wonder Woman. Whedon, meanwhile, recently wrapped Serenity, a Universal feature based on his short-lived small-screen series Firefly that's due out in September.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005


The early decades of the Twentieth Century was a time of scientific progress, especially in the field of eugenics. Check out this history lesson from Pat Buchanan that shows how the Nazis paved the way for Terri Schiavo's euthanasia. Money quote...

"In 1920, Dr. Alfred Hoche, professor of psychiatry at the University of Freiburg, and Karl Binding, a law professor at Leipzig, authored "The Permission to Destroy Life Unworthy of Life." They urged a national policy of assisted suicide for those "empty shells of human beings" – the terminally ill and mentally retarded, and those with brain damage and psychiatric conditions."

Tondar's always been the kinda kid that never liked to touch other peoples pets. And I certainly never like petting zoos. Now after this tale of kidney failure and hospital stays, I feel a bit justified. Money quote:

"The children might have been exposed to the bacteria through the animals' feces, officials said."

Anybody remember the hepatitis A outbreak of 1997? To this day I will not eat anything but fresh strawberries thanks to flashbacks of Longfellow being vaccinated and screaming, "Who the hell was shitting in the goddamn berries?!"

Every morning when I get to work the first place I go is the NYPost to see whom they are ripping into today. Well, on 3/23/05 it happened to be Barry Bonds. So I sent Seth a li'l heads-up...

" Like 2 peas in a pod check, out the picture of Barry Sanders and Barry Bonds. What a couple of major league @ssholes."

Well being more of a baseball fan and less of a hater, Seth had to weigh in on Barry Bonds and his douchebaggery...

"If Barry Bonds leaves now, Hank Aaron is still the greatest Home Run hitter of all time.

If Barry Bonds returns and hits no. 756 or more, then Barry Bonds is the greatest Home Run hitter of all time.

If Barry Bonds hadn't taken steroids, who knows what he would have done. My guess is, after seeing him play for years without the 'roids, and seeing what kind of difference 'roids made with Giambi, I would veture to say he could still have taken out McGuire's home run record, and maybe taken one more season to beat the Babe, two to topple Aaron.

You forget that he was the best player in his generation even before he started

He's never been nice to the media, either, which is why those with less self-control snap back at him all the time. The NY Post is so sensationalist in its coverage, I'm not surprised they lead the charge against him. The truth is, someone was going to break Aaron's record. There's more home runs today, and not just because of steroids. The ballparks are smaller. The pitching is thinner. The corkss are harder. The training is better. And you know what; Bonds is simply a better baseball player than Hank Aaron.

What baseball needs to do is create a real policy. No 5 strikes. No voluntary testing. RANDOM tests, and lots of 'em. Offense 1: Two months. Offense 2: Season. Offense 3: Out of baseball. That's it. But what it can't do is focus on fixing the past. Baseball is responsible for not instituting a real rule when it became a problem in early 1994 (before the strike). And now they have to face the fact that some of baseball's cherished records will be broken, including Hammerin' Hank's. It's their own fault.

Players could choose not to juice up, and many did. But there was a competitive
inbalance created by rewarding the juicers with starting jobs, better pay, the whole kit n' kaboodle. So a lot of the guys behind them did it too, or risk losing their jobs.

The policy baseball had in place was a joke and everyone knew it. Effectively, there was no law. So quit trying to punish those who broke it. They deserve some of the blame, but we can't prove anything. They now have to keep their jobs while clean. They get to live with the shame. That's enough.

Baseball, for it's part, gets to have a smear on a decade worth of play. This is what happens when you don't address a real problem.

Let Barry do what Barry wants to do. The guy deserves any record that falls to him, 'cause nobody's EVER hit 50 homers past 42 years of age. He's only 93 percent of the way there now, anyway. He also deserves whatever mean and nasty thing a sportswriter has to say about him, because he's been mean and nasty.

Friggin' record. How could ANY true baseball fan want to see Barry quit? Haven't they ever seen him hit, or even field for that matter? The man can play the game of baseball like no other in our lifetime. If he's a 'roider, it makes him cheap. If he's a jerk, it makes him a jerk. If he stabs his wife one day, well, he's a murderer and should go to jail. But nothing will ever change the fact that Barry Bonds could play baseball like no other."

I'm not sure if this was the most effective strategy for winning people over...

"One major reason his party lost the 2004 race to the "brain-dead" Republicans is that it has a "tendency to explain every issue in half an hour of detail," [Howard] Dean told the semi-annual meeting of Democrats Abroad, which brought about 150 members from Canada and 30 other countries to the Toronto for two days."

However, Seth has an interesting take on this ironic statement and offers a strategy of his own...

"Apparently, you guys are brain-dead, but also so smart as to outwit the American people in 20 words or less. Now, he wants to also be able to outwit the American people in 20 words or less too, because our strategy of being the Party of Statesmanship hasn't yielded results.


We've been trying to court lower class Americans by offering them economic incentives, but if you look at the last election, their socially conservative sides made them vote Republican. You need a severe recession to make voters coalesce against the business elite, because inside our hearts, we all want to one day BE a business elite. That is, unless the Biz Elite goes too far. If I were to come up with a new Democratic strategy, I would play up GOP/Enron and Bush/Halliburton, and how your kid is autistic because there's no controls on mercury emissions. Simultaneously backing off on our social goals. Not that I don't believe g@y rights need to be realized in this country. But we have to do it from a position of power.

Aside from that, the Democrats need a contradictory goal, a new vision of America, and a positive message. That should be easier in '08 than ever before; this country is the least optimistic it's been since the late '70s. So we tailor our message to peace-loving internationalism. We had to talk security and fear language in '04 - just 3 years after Sept. 11. But the doom bells won't be so welcome anymore by then. The immediacy will be gone. Iraq by then will be a slow mess, not a daily
death toll. Moreso, Europe will be booming, and America's go-it-alone attitude will crumble as Yankees yearn for a piece of the Euro market.

As for Dean, well, he just wants us to play the Republicans' game. But doing so he'll lose as much of his base as he gains."

Personally, I would call the problem with the Democratic party one of demographics. It is a coallition that is too broad ranging from minorities, to intellectual elites, to various unions. If ole Tondar were to remake the Democratic party, I would first abandon the intellectual elites and their hard Liberalism and its traces of communism. Secondly, I would attempt to pull middle class security voters from the GOP by positioning to their right on issues of national defense. Being the minority party this kinda criticism is much more welcome (and cannot be confused as traitorous dissent). This would re-define the party as a serious contendor while leaving the GOP only the issue of corporate protectionism for winning elections.

It's strange how the blogosphere has been rather silent on this topic. Of course the mainstream media, espeically, FOXNEWS is all over it. However, for most people there are just too many unknowns to make a good decision. Personally I don't know what to think. However, 3 things really bother me about the whole case.

First, I am certainly not comfortable with a government founded on liberty with the power to determine which citizens may live and which may die. Of course this raises issues with regard to what constitutes a "person" and a normal "quality of life." However, not being devine, I feel that I and the government are not qualified to make these decisions within the temperal sphere. It makes me very nervous that anybody can make a value judgment to determine that a life is not worth living simply due to the fact it lacks something as subjective as "quality" or for that matter what appears to be self-awareness. When dealing with life and death issues the courts bend over backwards to make sure that criminals have every last chance for appeal, personally, I'm not seeing that same consideration in this case.

Secondly, I am concerned by the federal courts' decisions to ignore Congress' mandate to review this case. Of course, I can go on and on about judicial tyranny. However, I will simply say, it strikes me as odd, at how quickly the courts can ignore and dismiss efforts by the elected body of the people to give extended due process to an American citizen facing state mandated execution.

Finally, it should be pointed out that Friday, March 25, 2005 is the tenth anniversary of Pope John Paul II's encycical, "Evangelium Vitae" (Gospel of Life). This is the document that discusses the incomparable value of the human person and promotes the protection and sanctity of human life. Or as the Holy Father put it...

"Here we are faced with one of the more alarming symptoms of the 'culture of death,' which is advancing above all in prosperous societies, marked by an attitude of excessive preoccupation with efficiency and which sees the growing number of elderly and disabled people as intolerable and too burdensome."

I find it very disturbing that this Good Friday, like Jesus dying upon the cross 2000 years ago, we will probably see the passing of Terri Schiavo, as well as mark the 10th anniversary of Evangelium Vitae and its clarification of the Word. Considering the role our government and courts have played in this issue...

"The choice of euthanasia becomes more serious when it takes the form of a murder committed by others on a person who has in no way requested it and who has never consented to it. The height of arbitrariness and injustice is reached when certain people, such as physicians or legislators, arrogate to themselves the power to decide who ought to live and who ought to die."

Tuesday, March 22, 2005


The other day Allison's strange expertise with regard to "Follow That Bird" came up. That of course to Pigpen, immediately brought up the "crappy sequal," which takes place in Japan. However, Allison just assumed that Pigpen was "on drugs" when I asked her about it. But with a little research, Pigpen stumbled upon this made for TV gem.

Personally I was always mesmerized by "Don't Eat The Paintings..." especially since I was once a member at the MET. To think I climbed the same steps where Cookie Monster attacked a vendor, still gives me chills to this day.

From Frankie Goes To Hollywood (Post of the Year: 2004), meet Vesper. Thanks a lot Frank, I will never be able to listen to Monteverde the same way again.

I don't know whether to throw up or die laughing! Posted by Hello

Don't work an 11.5 hour day. It makes you Lonesome, On'ry and Mean.

Ever notice how a bottle of Jack Daniels barely fits in your hand? (Well, at least in my tiny girly paws) It's too big for your hand to totally consume it, yet due to its strange size and standard volume, it still appears to barely fit. Like a kid drinkin' outta a sherry glass there is just something amiss about the whole ordeal. I don't know about y'all but it just seems like a bottle that you have to keep in motion. One must be constantly drinking, pouring, or flailing violently, otherwise you may just lose the handle on that beast.

BTW, special thanks to Kelly Dwyer of CNNSI for dropping this little booze inducing line on Tondar.

"That still didn't stop LeBron James from scoring 56 points against the Raptors, even though he isn't old enough to order a Manhattan sans cherry."

Now that you mention it, don't mind if I do have a "Manhattan sans cherry."

Monday, March 21, 2005


Seth passed along this interesting NYTimes piece about the "weapons of the weak," and all the passive aggressive things we do to stick it back to the man.

Money quote: "Next, he began stuffing the mail back into the "business reply" envelope and sending it back so that the mailer would have to pay the postage. "That wasn't exacting a heavy enough cost from them for bothering me," said Mr. Williams, 35, a middle school science teacher who lives in Melrose, N.Y., near Albany.

After checking with a postal clerk about the legality of stepping up his efforts, he began cutting up magazines, heavy bond paper, and small strips of sheet metal and stuffing them into the business reply envelopes that came with the junk packages."

Better grab your peeps and prepare for adventure, Tondarfest '05 is set for this Saturday night in Grand Haven, Michigan. Can you handle that jelly? Posted by Hello

Check out this CNNSI piece from Kelly Dwyer that proclaims the Pistons, the team to beat once again this year. Personally, I would have to agree. Everything that has "gone wrong" for the Pistons this year are really only minor distractions. Sure, every writer is gonna mention the brawl and Larry Brown's flighty nature. However, as long as they stay healthy, I don't see a team with enough muscle or fire power to de-throne the champs.

Sunday, March 20, 2005


Miss Erika passed along this delightful fwd...


1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2. Groan out loud in the bathroom stall (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the bathroom at the time).

3. Ignore the first five people who say "good morning" to you.

4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye".

5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

6. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

7. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

8. While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.


1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go number two".

5. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report is on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7. In a meeting, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".

8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

9. In a colleagues billing sheet, write in 10am Admin time: "See how I look in tights".

10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:"Do you hear that?" "What?""Never mind, it's gone now".

12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out."

Seth passed along this interesting Mitch Albom piece regarding Dan Rather. Albom makes and interesting point, because it makes you wonder, how much blame and responsibility does Rather bear for going from "news reader" to tv magazine/opinionist? Jennings and Brokaw always knew to stay above the fray. Their activities away from the teleprompter had to do with public services such as explaining war to children, or praising the "Greatest Generation. But maybe since Rather was always a consistant 3rd in the ratings (and market$hare), CBS made him step it up and he cracked after being spread too thin? Afterall, TV magazine reporters such as Stone Philips or John Stosil could probably walk away from a debacle like this. But not the top newsman at CBS.

Happy Birthday Miss Allison :) Posted by Hello

Figure skating bella, Kim is pretty pumped about the new Disney skating film. What's interesting is that the stars actually didn't know how to ice skate until they began training for the movie.

Check out this CNNSI first person account of dinner with Yao Ming, Patrick Ewing, and Dikembe Mutombo.

Money Quote: "MUTOMBO: [Sipping a virgin strawberry daiquiri] I like your restaurant, Yao. It's made for 7-footers and guys like Patrick Ewing, who is really 6'9". [Ewing has always been listed as 7 feet.]"

Friday Miss Allison turned the big 2-1. So Saturday night there was a little get together to raise the glasses up and throw down the fun. However, being the Dar, it crossed my mind how I could throw a wrench into the works. So here are the top ten ways Tondar could've ruined Allison's 21st Birthday party...

10. Challenge "Big Teddy" to a knife fight before he runs off to the Mexi-bar to bounce and keep the Mexi-peace.

9. Organize a "pledge" cleaning session.

8. Drunken dar-nuts on the front lawn in the Oldsmodar.

7. Organize a Southern Kingdom of Boxed Knights to protect my "sphere of influence."


5. Hijack the television and force everybody to watch Wake Forest lose while Tondar rants raves and staggers back and forth 3 ft in front of the screen (oops that one actually happened).

4. Change the name of other peoples dogs from "Rancid" and "Piglet," to "Fartso" and "Blumpkin," respectively (yeah that happened too).

3. Challenge all the women to fight a "REAL man."

2. Break all the bottles on the hearth to prevent hobos from collecting them and taking them outta state for the refund.


From Pigpen...

I'm sure this suit will get thrown out, but damnation...seriously! This is really grasping at straws and buying into the ever popular ideology that there is always someone to balme other than yourself. I'm sure the Israeli Defense Force is sick and tired of piss ant people doing this and other stuff that they take a Dumbsian "Deal with it!" approach when conducting activities like wrecking palestinian house/bomb making facility. I now hope CAT bulldozes their house down. Maybe next they'll blame the airline for selling her the ticket to get there, then blame the Isreali government for letting her cross into the Gaza. What a B!

Seth's gonna educate y'all on the problems with the World Bank and EVIL Republicans...

"I can't understand how anyone can seriously consider this nomination. This isn't a partisan complaint; Wolfowitz is the absolute wrong guy for the job.

The World Bank's two biggest problems in the last few decades have been:
1. Its reputation as a front for American business ventures with little to no care for actually developing these nations.

2. That it's run by politicians, who are notoriously bad at finance.

The outgoing Wolfensohn, a Clinton nominee, was able to fix some of Problem 2, but earned such a reputation for being a cold, heartless number cruncher that Problem 1 was reaching crisis proportions by 1999.

Wolfowitz would only exacerbate both problems, and horrifically. It's a decision akin to naming Robert McNamara as ambassador to Vietnam.

The developing world hates this guy. Few outside of Bush's war cicle trust him. But most of all, he's the worst at devising favorable estimates, like, for example, how Iraqis would respond to Americans marching in, and how much the war would cost. Now he's going to be in charge of rebuilding Iraq's infrastructure, not to mention that of the entire continent of Africa?!?

Is Bush running so low on friends he trusts as to shoe-horn anyone in the administration into whatever position? Bad enough he put Mike Leavitt in charge of Health and Human Services when the guy didn't have a clue as EPA administrator, and Condi Rice, the Queen in Europe's deck of Bush-people-we-hate, the Secretary of State. At least those two had served in SOME capacity that would make them qualified to fulfill their roles. Wolfowitz isn't even the guy you'd want if you all you care about in Iraq is the oil. That would be Drummond.

They were asking Bono about taking the job during his Rock N Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony last week, and at the time, I thought that was a joke. But giving the keys to the World Bank to U2 suddenly doesn't look as bad. Heck, Motley Cru couldn't be worse.

I don't get it, and I hope this blows up in the president's face when they actually start asking the member country investors -- people who, by the way, don't at all like the idea of granting money instead of lending. Why is Bush even on the grant bandwagon in the first place? The Latino vote? Not only do grants constitute more tax dollars spent, but without the payback incentive, the countries are even less likely to invest it in their futures. One of the biggest problems with the World Bank now is that a good share of the money doled out gets skimmed by the government receiving it. And one of the only weapons we have against that now is the power to forgive dept in return for less corruption.

As bad as the World Bank has gotten since Carter stocked its board with humanitarians, turning it into a misguided, miscalculating, fiscal arm of the Bush doctrine would only make it 10 times worse, both in the eyes of the developing world and as cost-efficient investment for the United States in developing trading partners."

Considering that Seth and the left have been wrong on bringing democracy to the Middle East via President Bush's pro-active approach to foreign policy, I would certainly give W. the benefit of the doubt on this one. It's obvious from his attacks on Condi Rice, that Seth is a firm believer in the old cold war mindset of America first short-term diplomacy. This is a great strategy for defeating a clear and present danger such as the Soviets. However, in a world of weapons of mass destruction and sole U.S. hegemony, it is not quite as simple as the "good ole days." Personally, I welcome the changes. If Seth is accusing the Bush administration of failure then, I guess I can live with it's continuation on the international scene. From the Middle East, to the U.N., to Department of State, to the World Bank, it's obvious Bush is certainly not a fan of the failing status quo and is willing to take some risks for the sake of positive change.