Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Thursday, June 23, 2005


I bemoan the wounds of Fortune
with weeping eyes,
for the gifts she made me
she perversely takes away.
It is written in truth,
that she has a fine head of hair,
but, when it comes to seizing an opportunity
she is bald.

On Fortune's throne
I used to sit raised up,
crowned with
the many-coloured flowers of prosperity;
though I may have flourished
happy and blessed,
now I fall from the peak
deprived of glory.

The wheel of Fortune turns;
I go down, demeaned;
another is raised up;
far too high up
sits the king at the summit -
let him fear ruin!
for under the axis is written
Queen Hecuba.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


James sent me an interesting link about bringing back nuclear power...

"Here's another yahoo news article that raises questions about our future. you know I am a big supporter of nuclear power, and also the Yucca Mountain Site. who knows what will power us ten years from now?"

So there's a new Hillary book out by Ed Kleinew Hillary that claims she was a 1esbian and that Bill raped her. Sure this is all over the top. But what I find interesting is that what Seth calls the "clap trap" (aka alternative media) isn't touching this one with a ten foot pole. Hannity thought it was too personal. Even John Podhoretz was uncomfortable with this trash.

So obviously the RAM (Republican Attack Machine) thinks this is all fishy and isn't going near this mess. How does one explain all of this? Was the book written by liberals to create a backlash favoring the Hillary? Is Klein simply a conservative that didn't get talking points out of Castle Greyskull? I can't quite get my head around it all.

I'll get you Noel Gallagher! You shall kneel before Lord Skeletor or be destroyed by the Live 8! Posted by Hello

Noel Gallagher: "Correct me if I'm wrong, but are they hoping that one of these guys from the G8 is on a quick 15 minute break at Gleneagles (in Scotland) and sees ANNIE LENNOX singing SWEET DREAMS and thinks, 'Fuck me, she might have a point there, you know?"

Bill Walton is still an idiot that needs to be promoted to the top of the face punch list. On the other hand, like a charred Anakin laying on the edge of the lava lake, you can't help but feel sorry for this fallen hero. He went from multi-time NBA Champ to being the butt of Marv Albert's wry backhanded sardonic comments. From there he went to doing color for ABC. And from there he has been sent to the studio where he get 20 seconds to make the most outrageous comment in favor of one team or another. But enough sentimentality...


If you're any kinda sports fan you gotta love a game 7. You also gotta love the way the Pistons fought off Danny Crawford and the SBC curse Tuesday night. However, with game 7 Thursday, there won't be much time for reflection and celebration. One thing you can count on is solid officiating. No doubt this game will feature Joe Crawford's crew. Not only do they do a wonderful job, but they also have a tendancy to just let the teams play. Luckily this favours Detroit and their Eastern Conference style of play. But anyways, this brings us to the strategy of it all, so here's Tondar's keys to winning...


The Pistons fought hard to overcome Crawford and the Spurs in game 6. What worries me is they may have expended so much of their energy that they will not be able to keep up with the Spurs, whom I'm sure will come out fired up and ready to put their nuts to Detroit's face. Detroit needs to find emotional motivation similar to the way they used San Antonio's victory parade being scheduled the same day as game 7. Detroit plays their best with their backs to the wall but let's hope they don't lose that fire that helped them beat Orlando, New Jersey and Miami in game 7 match ups.


The last game 7 in the NBA Finals was back in 1994. Patrick Ewing's Knick came this close to knocking off Hakeem Olajuwon's Houston Rockets. However, they ran into a bit of a snare when John Starks, the second best player on their team had a terrible game, shooting 1-18. If one of the Pistons comes out this cold we cannot allow him to put up 17 misses and expect to compete down the stretch. This is not normally a problem for Detroit because they can almost always find somebody with a hot hand. Also consider Parker or Ginobili may be ripe to get struck by the Curse of Starks. But either way, Detroit needs to recognize this phenomenon early and adjust accordingly.


With this being one of the biggest games in NBA History, the temptation to leave the stars in for the full 48 minutes is going to be quite great. This happened back in Game 5 of the 1993 NBA Finals. The game went triple overtime and both Phoenix and Chicago lost key players down the stretch to fatigue and fouls the most memorable was Scottie Pippen's cramp (yeah, that wasn't Captain Blood Snatch calling either). I would like to see Larry Brown dip 8-9 men deep into the bench. Even if it is just for 1 minute or 2, Detroit needs to keep Wallace and Wallace rested and strong for the stretch. My friend Richard pointed out the fact that Ben Wallace loses steam late in the 4th quarter and doesn't attack the boards with the same tenancity as he does in the first. The way Old Tondar sees it, Larry Brown needs to pull a Phil Jackson. Jackson always used to rest Jordan for the first few minutes of the 4th until the TV timeout (the one that leads into the beer sponsored NBA history moment). With all the other timeouts down the stretch, this allowed Jordan to have enough wind to push off, charge, and steal all those games throughout the 90's. Larry Brown should attempt to do the same for BW. Being the Piston's best player, hopefully he can be there for a late block, rebound, or tip that will turn the tide.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


We hold these truths to be self-evident that shenanigans occured at the SBC Center. However, in spite of the best efforts of Danny Crawford to throw Sheed out of the game and bring down the Pistons, D-Troit basketball rolls on to a climactic game 7. But real quick, note the Tondar Destroying Stat of the game from the boxscore...


DET. 21
S.A. 18

Also keep in mind that San Antonio had to foul down the stretch in an attempt to get the ball back. That my friends is what we call ticky-tack.

How about that for a voter mandate? Yes, Ms. Darnell, there will be a City of Sandy Springs.

On the road, facing elimination, and knowing Danny Crawford is gonna be all over the ticky-tack fouls; I like our chances. Maybe it's just me, but there's something about this team that just seems like they live and breathe for moments like this. I'm talking about Pistons vs. the world. As I've often said, this is a team built for Tondar. And I know if it were me out there, I would be pumped and ready to blow the roof off the SBC Center. But it's not me, so I tell you what, if the Pistons can find a way to win tonight, there is no way they are losing game 7 with Joe Crawford behind the whistle.

Monday, June 20, 2005


Ever hear of Fred Phelps? Well, he's a terrible person. In fact, he was out this weekend protesting the funeral of a slain soldier in Idaho. Talk about the lowest of the low exercising free speech. Ninme has a good blogdown and pics of the protest. *shaking head*

Maybe those dirty Europeans were right. Maybe I should spend more time in the arms of a beautiful woman enjoying la vita dolce. Posted by Hello

In case you missed it, there is now a new Linky Dink at left to Drake's site. So be sure to drop by and see what that cocksucker is up to once in a while. But anyways, I was thinking about ole Drake the Snake tonight. You see Tondar got home from work, walked to daily mass. Then when I got home I did some cleaning. After that I started a load of laundry, while I cooked up some sausage to eat all week for lunch. After that I finished up the dishes and then finally ran off to the workout center to hit the weights and the bike. However, to get in and out I had to walk past some Euro-trash poolside pow-wow. It was on the way back to my apartment when I passed them the second time, that it occured to me, maybe they are right. As Drake always points out we work ourselves to death in America. Here these clowns are sipping wine by candlelight while the sweaty American hurries back to the apartment to shower and hit the hay so he can get back up and do it all over again tomorrow. It certainly makes you wonder, and certainly creates a need for that most important of Drakonian principles: perspective.

This is why I shouldn't have a few scotches and try to post things from the Tondar e-mail backlog. I've been nagging Seth for quite sometime about the roll of the liberal media. And when I went to post this, I simply typed the first thing that came to my head. Nevertheless, Seth was a bit upset...

"I've "schooled" you countless times on the media, its coverage of major news events, its shortcomings in sensationalism and the unpararalled effort reporters and editors give toward remaining unbiased. Why would I need to do it again? I've told you I'd wager my soul on the good name of journalism and that the assassinations of the media character were naught but a partisan witch hunt.

What more can I do? I'm sick of pulling my hair out while pointing at the sky and telling you it's blue, then turning around to see you so blighted by the partisan b.s. you've suckled from rightist spin doctors as to attack mainstream media even when they write what you want them to.

You've cried a thousand times that you'd like to read some good news from Iraq, some reporting on the humanitarian efforts of our military. Well, here you are, and still you have to take a swipe at those who think more about truth every minute than you will in your lifetime.

A good blog addresses the nuances of issues facing this country. A bad one just finds clever (or not-so-clever) ways to stick it to good people. Much as I'd like to fight the injustice of the media witch hunt in every corner of the Earth, I have to pick my battles better. I can't keep getting drawn into these things every time you revert from the intelligent human to a Republican attack dog."

Seth is right, thanks to Cutty Sark I did lose a bit of nuance. So lemme try this again...


To compensate for all of Tondar's bitching and moaning Seth sent along this piece from the mainstream media showing all the positive life saving innovations in Iraq. Sure doom and gloom grab the headlines. But it's good to see a positive story once in awhile. And I for one am soberly happy to point out a positive media story since I am also one to bemoan the war coverage.

Ole Tondar has to get out the vote tomorrow. My community of Sandy Springs is going to encorporate. That means we don't have to send our yearly $20 million dollars to the other side of Atlanta to provide community centers for her majesty, Queen Emma Darnell. Afterall, heaven forbid Sandy Springs residents get a library or any other community service for their tax dollar. So I will have to swing by the baptist church for a li'l fellowship and civic duty, mostly civic duty.

Immigrants have a tendancy to live 20 to a home. However, in parts of Atlanta, to prevent shanty towns and squatters, the city is limiting the number of people per square ft. Best example:

"Manuel Flores answered the door at 492 Alcott Drive, next to Catalina Erneston's home in Concord Park, and allowed reporters and a photographer inside.

County tax records show the house as having two bedrooms, but Flores, who came to the United States from Mexico City about a year ago and works construction as a day laborer, led a tour of the home, revealing that it actually has three bedrooms on the main floor and three rooms partitioned off in the basement.

Mattresses are laid on the concrete floor in the basement, and a hot plate is available for cooking, but there is no bathroom.

Erneston, who has lived next door for 16 years, said the situation with her neighbors has become intolerable. At one time, she said, they had seven vehicles parked on the lawn, and another neighbor built a fence to prevent them from driving across his lawn. There have been loud parties with men drinking beer outside, she said."

Aye Carumba! Que una fiesta con los coches, y cerveza en el sotono. Es muy divertido, no?

Sunday, June 19, 2005


How do you leave Big Shot Rob open for 3 when they need 2 to tie? Even Dar coulda told you that!

As Al Michaels said, law of averages told us we were due for a close game. But for crying out loud did you see the mugging by Tim Duncan on Chauncey's last shot in regulation. Yep, you can tell this is a Ron Garretson called game.

Well, the bad news is that Ron Garretson is calling the game tonight. That means that Danny Crawford will be on board for Game 6. However, if the Pistons can win one of the next two, the good news is that they will then have Joe Crawford's crew for Game 7.

From Seth...

"I didn't send this to brag about Bush's poll numbers. What intrigued me was that Security concerns are drifting down the list of importance in the national consciousness.

Also, here's a ditty on how the GOP plans to attack homosexuals next: jurisdictional re-alignment. In other words, if they can't win the national debate, take the federal government out of it altogether. In the context of federalizing state environmental and drug policies, I'd have to say that the Republican States Rights pulpit is a sham. They're in favor of their social and economic agenda, and wherever they can win,

Sometimes, in their rush to get their agenda through, politicians seem to ignore reason, leading to some quite ironic positions. For example, why in the world are Republicans thinking about making the words of the Pledge of Allegiance a state issue? Read to find out."

Actually Seth, this idea has been bounced around for a while. What I don't understand is why they would apply it to anti-homosexual legislation. It seems the most logical place to begin is with a partial birth abortion ban, or other such measures where liberal courts seek to usurp the legislative powers of Congress. Though I ole Tondar doesn't agree with Congress throwing gays under the bus, I do like the move to strip the courts of their power. It's time for Congress to step up and be the dominant branch as defined under Article I of the Constitution.

How can you not love Miss Allison's smile? Posted by Hello

If it weren't for life-saving advances in medicine, the main-stream media would have turned public sentiment against the war by now. Here's a nice run-down of what the army is doing to keep casualties down for the sake of Iraqi democracy.

From Seth...

"While Tondar's favorite sport begins its greatest week, mine, well, is still locked out. But they have a new deal of sorts on the table.

The interesting thing is the salary floor of $22 million. I don't know if the players are wise to this, but this isn't going to stop owners from fielding bad teams during rebuilding to keep costs down. All they'll do is front-load contracts to fill up the leftover space. For example, Pittsburgh, running all year at the minimum, has 3 years left on Dick Tarnstrom's deal, $6 million per year. He's a key component of their defense. They trade away Mark Recchi, who has a 1-year deal for $5 million, for a prospect and a draft pick.

So what do the Penguins do to reach the requisite $22 million for this season? Spread out Recchi's salary among the other players. To simplify, say they give it all to Tarnstrom as payment on his deal. For the next season, Tarnstrom is only a $1 million hit on their salary cap. So if the Penguins get lucky with the prospect, and the draft pick is Sidney Crosby (the next, NEXT one), the following year they're winning, and have $5 million of extra cap room.

I wonder if they'll close the loophole. 'Cause otherwise, the minimum doesn't really stop teams from dumping salary.