Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

IS THIS WRONG?

Would it be terribly wrong for ole white Tondar to get a t-shirt to represent the Atlanta Black Crackers from the Negro Leagues?
PIC OF THE DAY


Behold government failing at the local, state and federal level. With thousands dead, and hundreds of buses ruined, there's plenty of blame to go around. Posted by Picasa
SPURRING UP FOR 2006

Just last week I was singing the praises of the Miami Heat. But at that time I thought they had already had Michael Finley locked up. Now it turns out he is going to play for the world champion San Antonio Spurs. Now, when the best team in the league gets this much better, you have to pick them to repeat again next year. In addition, with players like Nick Van Exel, Robert Horry, and Brent Barry joining Finley on the bench, you now have to consider the Spurs the favorites. Plus, I think this will have to put additional pressure on Joe Dumars to shake things up a bit earlier to have a fully integrated team by the time April and the Playoffs roll around. With Detroit standing still, there is no way we can compete as well against a deeper and more mature Spurs team.
COOLEST ANARCHIST EVER

Almost a hundred years ago anarchists blew up Arch Duke Franz Ferdinand setting off World War I. These days the anarchists are the ones acting in defiance of government to rescue people from the New Orleans disaster. Money quote from 18 year old hero, Jabbor Gibson...

"I just took the bus and drove all the way here...seven hours straight,' Gibson admitted. "I hadn't ever drove a bus...I dont care if I get blamed for it, as long as I saved my people."


To think this kid found a bus, loaded her up, and hauled about 100 people to Houston. Wow! Tondar's impressed, but will not be surprised to see him prosecuted.
SO WHAT HAS YOUR GOVERNOR DONE LATELY

Mad props go out to Gov. Sonny Perdue for rolling back Georgia's gas tax for the month of September.

" Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue said he will sign an executive order Friday that will exempt consumers from state motor fuel taxes through the end of September to "relieve some of the financial burden" in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

The order will remove the 7.5-cents-a-gallon tax and a 4 percent sales tax on gas, the governor said, and was set to begin at midnight.

The move comes as gasoline in some parts of the country has risen well above $3 a gallon."


So what has Jennifer Granholm done for Michigan, besides running off the Dar? Exactly. In stead of 3 cheers, since nobody's thought of it yet: Sonny Perdue for President in 2008!

Friday, September 02, 2005

WHO YOU GONNA BLAME FOR GAS

Miss Dawn sent me this cartoon that helps to explain our current gas crisis. D'oh!
PIC OF THE DAY


I'm seeing double
But don't miss me if you can.
There's gonna be trouble
When she choses her man. Posted by Picasa

Thursday, September 01, 2005

BEHOLD, THE ATLANTIS OF OUR DAY

Check out these pics of New Orleans, both before and after the flood.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

PIC OF THE DAY


Is it me? For a moment
The stars are falling.
The heat is rising
The past is calling. Posted by Picasa
PORK TORNADO WARNING

If you are having cat problems you might want to swing by this blog that I stumbled across during my time at "jury duty." Also if you are down with the discovery channel you might wanna scroll down for some insight into Mythbusters.

BTW: Also check out Pork Tornado's commentary on the worst album covers ever. Good stuff ;)
JURY DUTY

Weeks ago ole Tondar was selected for jury duty. However, it turns out I was not needed. But since I had the day off from work anyways, I decided to take advantage, spending the day sleeping in, going to the movies, and taking care of business around the apartment. Go Tondar :)
OIL CRISIS IN HOTLANTA

From Drudge...

"Metro Atlanta drivers are facing the possibility of paying considerably more than $3 a gallon for gas by Labor Day -- if they can get it at all, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution is reporting Wednesday.

The two pipelines that bring gasoline and jet fuel to the region are down -- powerless to pump as Hurricane Katrina wreaked havoc on electrical infrastructure.

The metro Atlanta region generally has about a 10-day supply of gasoline in inventory, said BP spokesman Michael Kumpf. The pipelines have been down for two days."


Not only has Atlanta been turned into a refugee camp of sorts in the aftermath of Katrina, but now we are facing a gas shortage. I'm gonna try and fill up. Though it might be too late considering that every QT receives the AJC.
AN ONION CLASSIC

Nothing beats a story from the onion that combines boring old real estate with the dork-filled world of adventure-fantasy. Yes my friends I'm talking about bureaucromancy...

"It's wonderful that someone's finally doing something to revitalize this town, even if it is someone who can commune with church gargoyles," said local baker Wendy Kittner, whose business was mystically placed on the National Register Of Historic Places last week despite being housed in a building erected in 1981. "He frightens me, and my concern is that if I defy him, I may be turned to stone."
SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T KNOW NO-BETTER

Here's tips on cubicle courtesy from my office. Enjoy...

"We have a significant number of cubicles in the office and therefore we must be sensitive and considerate of others. Here are some tips for cubicle courtesy that will certainly go a long way in creating the right cubicle environment:

--Don't Barge in: Before stepping into a colleagues work space, knock gently on the side of the entrance. This allows the individual to signal whether he or she has time to chat.

--Use your "library voice": Talk softly to avoid disturbing others, and don't use your speakerphone unless absolutely necessary. If you need to participate in a conference call, find an enclosed space or use the conference room.

--Don't be an open book: Avoid personal conversations when others are within earshot. For example, the play by play description of last nights game is best discussed outside the office.

--Hit the right note: Wear headphones if you listen to music. Likewise set your cell phone on vibrate or turn it off.

--Have good scents: Keep your coworkers' olfactory sensibilities in mind. For example, avoid wearing too much cologne or eating particularly pungent foods at your desk.

Following these tips will certainly help maintain the professional environment that we all will appreciate.
SETH'S FAKE NEWS III

Lets take a look inside the sports section...

Athlete Breaks 113-Percent Barrier

Reaching levels of effort that were once thought impossible, cyclist Lance Armstrong recently set a new sporting-wide record by giving 113.05 percent during an uphill leg in the recent Tour de France. Armstrong, who beat cancer and even gave up one of his testicles to return to his sport, beat the previous record of 112.34 percent, set by shortstop David Eckstein while legging out a triple in the 2002 World Series.

"You hear a lot of people say, 'I'd give my left nut to win that race,' but few people realize how hard that really is to do," said ESPN analyst Dan Patrick. "Very few athletes have ever even approached 110 percent; to hit 113, you have to want something not just as much as life itself, but 13 percent more than life itself."

"Zat American, he is teaching us what it means to have power of will," said Jacques Brisebois, a reporter for the French cycling magazine, "BICYCLE!". "We are so impressed wiz him, ze whole nation hasz, how do you say, cut-uff one ball."
THAT VOCAL LEFT

From Pigpen...

I'm not suggesting that blue blood should now run red, but for Democrats - does this bode well for the party? Inquiring minds want to know the impact of Cindy Sheehan...

Money quote: I'm going all over the country telling moms: "This country is not worth dying for. If we're attacked, we would all go out. We'd all take whatever we had. I'd take my rolling pin and I'd beat the attackers over the head with it. But we were not attacked by Iraq. {applause} We might not even have been attacked by Osama bin Laden if {applause}. 9/11 was their Pearl Harbor to get their neo-con agenda through and, if I would have known that before my son was killed, I would have taken him to Canada. I would never have let him go and try and defend this morally repugnant system we have.


Nice stereotypical reference to the rolling pin - maybe little old ladies can charge into battle with purses and brooms while old men shake fists menacingly.

Let me restate the crux of the money quote..."This country is not worth dying for."

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

RETURN TO MALEBOLGE

Per me si va ne la città dolente,
per me si va ne l'etterno dolore,
per me si va tra la perduta gente.

Giustizia mosse il mio alto fattore:
fecemi la divina podestate,
la somma sapienza e 'l primo amore.

Dinanzi a me non fuor cose create
se non etterne, e io etterno duro.
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.


Through me the way is to the grieving city;
Through me the way is to eternal sorrow;
Through me the way among the people lost.

Justice moved my high maker;
Divine power made me,
Highest Wisdom and the primal Love.

Before me there were no created things,
Except eternal ones, and I endure eternal.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter!


Thus it is written in the vestibule of hell according to Dante in the beginning of the Third Canto of Il Inferno. I always thought this was the perfect way to describe my time working at the welfare office. Apparantly somebody took the evil to a whole new level. Yesterday, Dark Lord Denise had to call and tell me about all this little huckster...

"Kaminski, 28, and McConnell, 25, say their neighbor, Jennifer Dells, who worked for the state Department of Human Services, sold them on the fraudulent program while speaking to them on the phone, never letting on her actual identity.

Dells owned the home and allegedly set up the phony program so she could sell it, police told the couple."


I guess she was escorted from the building by security and the head of personel. In addition, she had problems doing her work correctly and following orders within the bureaucracy. I'm sure we will hear more on this as the criminal trial unfolds. But as for Jennifer Dells, it looks like temporal justice caught up to her before she could make it to Cocytus.
SODIER WATCH

Looks like the tightend we all love to hate is back in the news. This time Kellen Winslow Jr. is fighting a staph infection. If you will remember...

"Nothing has been normal about Winslow's brief career with Cleveland. The former first-round draft pick broke his right leg while recovering an onside kick last season, prematurely finishing his rookie year.

Winslow was still recovering from that injury when he lost control of his high-powered motorcycle while practicing stunts in a secluded parking lot near his home. He was thrown over the bike's handlebars and into a wooded area, suffering serious injuries that required a nine-day hospital stay."


Unfortunately it sounds like our li'l soldier boy is growing up and refusing to dis the hatahs, throwing out mature money quotes like this...

"I'm more wise," he said. "I'll be more wise about decisions. You think you're invincible, young. So I did learn from this. I just have to make better decisions."
PIGPEN ON THE LIONS

From Pigpen...

"The curse of Bobby Layne is alive in the motor city. For once I thought Harrington actually tried and made some good descisions (don't confuse me with touting him as the next big thing though), however the O-Line is putred they are great bull fighters, but chould worry more about buying time. The pocket was aleady collapsed by the time Joey got to it. They stink!"
QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Seth's cousin on the "new" NHL...

"After serving as the martyr franchise for a salary cap the last five years, Mario Lemieux’s Penguins are playing in packed houses with oodles of stars. If I gave my kids this much just for whining, I’d be a million dollars in dept to whomever owns Pokemon."

Monday, August 29, 2005

PIC OF THE DAY


Laugh and say I'm green
I've seen things you'll never see. Posted by Picasa
SETH'S FAKE NEWS II

So if the "West Wing" is going to have a Republican President do you think he'll have a cape and a handle bar mustache so the viewer can identify him as the antagonist...

The Other Guys to Shut Up

Following the lead of NBC's The West Wing, several other reportedly left-leaning media institutions have decided to "Go Right," catering to a wider Republican viewership that seemingly needs only a right-wing bias to tune in.

"The Right Wingers are so much easier to entertain. Just agree with whatever cockamamie idea they put in their heads, yell about liberals, and then write a book about how you hate Hillary," said John Stewart, who anchors the previously un-biased Comedy Central news satire, the Daily Show. "Seriously, it's a lot easier that trying to be funny and truthful at the same time, and there's a ton more money." Stewart noted that his show plans to poke fun only at Democrats and foreigners from now on, with Conservative rally authors as guests instead of actors and other entertainment figures.

"I've found that if you can't beat corporate America, even after showing the world how seedy and greedy and plain evil they are, you can always join them, get rich, and never have to see a poor person again. It's a great life," said documentary filmmaker Michael Moore, who announced he was giving up on dogging the Bush administration in order to make his next film about Bill Clinton's sex life.

The trend of liberal voices turning right began last spring when The West Wing, which once enamored Democrats with intelligent banter, real-life political situations, and a paradigm Democratic president to offer an escape from Bush, began fishing for a wider audience. The network discovered that by firing the show's creators and all of its political advisory staff, then turning the thing into a character-driven, over-dramatic soap opera, they could reach the moronic American audience that made "The Apprentice" so popular.

"There's only so many viewers who can sit down and find drama in the delicate handling of an outbreak of aggression between Iraq and Pakistan. Dumbing it down made us realize where the real viewership is," said one NBC exec. "What really did it is when we had a Republican president for a week. Our ratings shot through the roof! They weren't even good shows we were writing – just more favorable to the right. It convinced us right then that our next president was going to be GOP. As for our old leftist viewers, well, we made Alan Alda the president, and liberals have been rooting for that since M.A.S.H. went off the air!"

Following NBC's lead, the other major networks have decided to rid themselves of boring news anchors like Dan Rather, going to a "Jerry Springer" format for all future political coverage. CBS also decided to pull a fact-based biopic about Ronald Reagan in favor of a three-week special memorial to the former president prepared by a local conservative indoctrination group.

Meanwhile, shoring up a longtime thorn in its side, Republicans in Congress cut all funding to NPR and PBS, citing the "subversive and blatant communism on Sesame Street," and "the obvious liberal bias of that frothy-mouthed Diane Rehm." Also, responding to urging from many right-wing groups, the New York Times has agreed to publicly flog its editors "just for being the New York Times," every morning in Times Square.
CALLING OUT THE PRESIDENT

"Twice, George Bush has taken an oath to "preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." Article IV, Section 4 of that Constitution reads, "The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against invasion."

Well, we are being invaded, and the president of the United States is not doing his duty to protect the states against that invasion. Some courageous Republican, to get the attention of this White House, should drop into the hopper a bill of impeachment, charging George W. Bush with a conscious refusal to uphold his oath and defend the states of the Union against "invasion."


This is why I always like to read Pat Buchanan. He's one of the few conservatives out there that is willing to call out the GOP for its failings. Personally, I'd be down with some articles of impeachment. After all, it's only fair. I was down for Clinton, and I think Bush's behavior could easily be described as a high crime.
DR. JIMMY/MR. JIM QUOTE OF THE DAY

The showdown comes...

I'll take on anyone
Ain't scared of a bloody nose,
Drink till I drop down
With one eye on my clothes.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

TAKING AIM AT PASADENA

The NYTimes came out with their college football preview. Though I was surprised to see Texas and Tennessee absent from their list of contenders, I was delighted to see they're predicting an old fashion Rose Bowl this year as Michigan and USC will battle for the National Championship.

"An argument for Michigan boils down to an argument against Southern California, seemingly everyone's No. 1 team this season. The Trojans have lost too much on defense and too much on their coaching staff to go undefeated again. Also, U.S.C. was challenged last year by U.C.L.A., Stanford and California, which was 9 yards from winning in Los Angeles. U.S.C. has road trips to Cal, Arizona State, Notre Dame and always tricky Oregon this year. Without the offensive coordinator Norm Chow's deft touch calling plays and the defensive coordinator Ed Orgeron's intensity, some slippage is inevitable.

That leaves the national title up for grabs. Michigan's defense has still not proved it can contain a mobile quarterback. But the Wolverines have so much talent at the skill positions on offense that they will be able to compensate. A full year of starting will turn Hart, a sophomore, into a star. Henne, the sophomore quarterback, has quality targets in Avant and Steve Breaston. The schedule falls in line, too, as Michigan plays host to Notre Dame and Ohio State. A trip to Iowa in October will be the pivotal weekend. In the end, expect the Wolverines to storm Los Angeles and win the national title."


It's a little strange that in the space devoted to Michigan, they instead write about the Trojans. But here's a little bit more in depth analysis of the whole Big 10.
EQUITY AND "HOME OWNERSHIP"

Here's a great piece in the LATimes about using home equity as an income tool. The article did a great job showing both the spend-now mentality of many people as well as the creative means the lending institutions are finding to help people cash in on the growing equity.

"The financial services industry is doing all it can to avoid letting consumers be foolish. Ditech.com touts home loans as a way to pay off credit cards, and Morgan Stanley says they're a good way to fund education expenses. Wells Fargo suggests taking a chunk out of your house to finance "a dream wedding."


Being one to speculate, it seems the best thing to do is to bide your time and take advantage of these people when the economy turns bad. This strategy could be extremely successful in states like Michigan where high unemployment and a general deflation of the entire economy will put these people in over their heads. A person that has actually spent time saving could then step in and bail out the fiscally foolish at a great discount. I see this all the time in Tennessee as investors are making a killing buying foreclosed real estate and flipping it.
PERV TRAIN

As technology improves it's going to be increasingly more difficult for the Quagmires of the world to get their jollies in public. Check out this story about a perv on the R Train that got his picture taken as he was grinding one out. Now he's been reported to police and posted on the internet. First Giuliani clears all the sexshops out of Time Square and now this. It's just difficult to imagine what this world is coming to when the NY City perv community is being call out.

Guess which cocksucker moved to LA? Posted by Picasa
LABOR DAY DECLARATION

Let it be known that Labor Day is the weekend of both Dr. Jimmy and Mr. Jim...

"Doctor Jimmy and mister Jim
When I'm pilled you don't notice him,
He only comes out when I drink my gin."
NBA HISTORY MOMENT

Check out Glen Rice's favorite memory while playing for the Miami Heat. That day he scored a career high 56 points.