Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Friday, September 23, 2005


Sometimes pictures need to get cleared off the harddrive. Posted by Picasa

Thursday, September 22, 2005


Check out this lengthy list of NBA records. Unlike scoring and rebounds, these are bit more whacky and delightful. For example...

"Most preposterous use of a basketball card
For personal identification: Qyntel Woods, Portland, 2002

In March 2002, Woods was stopped by police for speeding. As he rolled down the window of his Cadillac Escalade, marijuana fumes poured out.

The police searched the vehicle and found a small amount of grass. When the Trail Blazers rookie was asked for his driver's license and proof of insurance, he had neither. Instead, he handed the officers his basketball card as identification. He was charged with marijuana possession and driving without a license and no proof of insurance.

Woods provided proof of insurance in July to lift the suspension, but his license was suspended again on July 28 when he failed to appear at his court hearing.

Seven months later, Woods was stopped again by the same police officer for failing to use his turn signals. In a bad case of déjà vu, he was booked for driving with a suspended license and no proof of insurance. Fortunately, this time Woods wasn't enveloped in a cloud of ganja."

Better study up for trivia kids. Next time Tondar's bringing home the Cup!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


Hey CrabmanPosted by Picasa

Recently I asked Seth...

Do you think part of the problem is growing up communist and then being thrust into the American sports market of ridiculous hyper-capitalism? We saw the same thing outta the Czech Hasik. How does the rest of the former soviet block stack up when it comes to general douchebaggery?

And he answered...

"Most are not as bad, but they have similar characteristics.

Czech players (Hasek, and Jaromir Jagr are prima facie evidence of this) exhibit some of the same traits. The Penguins' Konstantin Koltsov (Belarus) also fits the mold. But I think you see the real douchebaggery out of the Russians because their league is comparable to the NHL. No Czech team can pay over a million a year to a single player, but Russian economics are actually better than many NHL franchises. There's more people, and a bigger hockey fan base in Omsk than in Pittsburgh, although player salaries are kept in check by more communist-style league rules.

Russia, perhaps in an attempt to get its best players back, has no jock tax. Also, the country was the only one that refused to sign its labor agreement with the NHL that allows the American league to buy out the contracts of drafted Russian players. I can't blame them, but it's been a real kick in the teeth for the NHL.

Anyway, as to the affect of going from Communism to hypercapitalism, I was thinking the same thing. My friends from Russia don't exhibit such traits - actually, every one of them seems to get capitalism better than most Americans - but as you said, the sports market is ridiculous."

Monday, September 19, 2005


Long-cut, Dad! LONG CUT!! Posted by Picasa

From Seth...

"The Pavel Datsyuk story is getting curiouser and curiouser.

According to Russian papers, he's agreed in principle to the Red Wings' offer of 2 years at 3.8 million per year, but he doesn't want to offend the people who decide who plays for the Russian Olympic team in 2006.

So he's telling Russia that he's an "honorable man" and therefore wants to honor his commitment to play for Avangard Omsk. To my understanding, though, under Russian rules, the team he played for last year, Moscow Dynamo, has the right to match Omsk's offer and retain Datsyuk's services. Anyway, the gist is that he hinted to the paper that he wants to play for Detroit, and will return to play for Detroit, but not until he finds a way of leaving Russia without offending two of its premier teams.

Ken Holland, however, seems to not have a clue what's going on over there. Communication is apparently not very good.

In essense, what it seems happend is that Datsyuk wanted to hardball Holland into an overpriced, too-short contract, and used the ploy of signing with Omsk to do so. But he and his agent Greenstin were such 'tards about it that they didn't realize there was no way the Red Wings could extricate him from Russia.

Greenstin's obvious greenery (and gluttony) aside, what is it about Russian players these days? They're the most selfish group in hockey.

Pavel Datsyuk: The "I should be getting as much money as Joe Thornton" comment says it all.

Sergei Gonchar: Signs with Penguins because they offered the most money

Sergei Fedorov: Where do I begin?

Fedor Fedorov: Sergei's little brother has all the talent but so little effort that Vancouver even tried bringing in motivational speakers.

Ilya Kovalchuk: Selfish scorer who thinks he's too good to play defense. Now threatening to play in Russia if Thrashers don't pony up the big bucks.

Alexei Yashin: The epitome of selfish scorers, who forced the Islanders into perhaps the dumbest NHL contract ever: like 10 years at like 7 million a year or something.

Sergei Brylin: Knowing the Devils were in the worst cap position of any Eastern team, but also that they could go into the season as the East's favorites, he decided it was the right time to hold out.

Alexander Ovechkin: Called himself the LeBron James of hockey after being drafted first overall in 2003 Entry Draft.

Evgeni Malkin: 2003 second overall pick wouldn't tell the Penguins until training camp had already begun that he thinks he might have signed to play for a Russian team, even though the NHL franchise had been counting on bringing him over.

Alexei Morozov: The leading scorer among Pittsburgh's forwards in 2003-04 decided to bolt for Russia this season because Ziggy Palffy was going to be the 1st-line center instead of him.

Sergei Samsonov: Another fellow who threatened to hold out for a big contract, nevermind Boston's problems getting under the cap. Their trouble re-signing Raycroft and Thornton is because they had to give Samsonov too much money.

Nikolai Khabibulin: Forced Phoenix to trade him years ago by threatening a holdout, then this off-season, told Tampa Bay, where he won a cup in '03-'04, that he would allow them to match any offer. It was a lie: he just wanted to force up his contract rate before signing with Chicago.

Pavel and Valerie Bure: When the Bure brothers are healthy, they score a lot and play little defense, and will take a contract anywhere so long as it's packed with bucks. But if they're injured, then forget dressing. Pavel retired with bad knees, but a lot of people noted that players like Steve Yzerman and Bill Guerin had much worse knee problems and stuck around.

Evgeni Nabokov: San Jose was on the cusp of greatness, back when they had Owen Nolan and Vincent Damphousse, et al., but Nabokov held out into the first week of the season, demoralizing the team and leading to a bad start from which the team couldn't recover. That's when they traded away all their best players. Nabokov is also very careful to demand any good backups get traded (including Calgary's star Kiprusoff and current backup Vesa Toskala) so he doesn't "get uncomfortable."

"We tested his clothes with a static electricity field meter and measured a current of 40,000 volts, which is one step shy of spontaneous combustion, where his clothes would have self-ignited," Barton said.

"I've been firefighting for over 35 years and I've never come across anything like this," he said.

Firefighters took possession of Clewer's jacket and stored it in the courtyard of the fire station, where it continued to give off a strong electrical current.

I wish I left a trail of destruction in my wake.

Sunday, September 18, 2005


Now that I have Kashif's new phone number I'm going to call him EVERY NIGHT! Posted by Picasa

From Seth...

Top 10 Signs that Your Co-Worker Might Be a Supervillain:

10. Usually male between the ages of 25 and 40.

9. Comes to work in strange, futuristic-looking outfits and a black cape.

8. Often followed around the office by two dimwitted, semi-human cronies, whom he addressees as "You idiots!".

7. Doesn't laugh at jokes, but will randomly put his fingers together and snigger to himself.

6. Cubicle filled with spare robot parts

5. Stands in dramatic poses when he thinks nobody's looking

4. Won't stop using that obnoxious, raspy deep voice

3. Begins every sentence at a board meeting with "you fools"

2. After each slide in his powerpoint presentations, he has to stop and admire the genious of it.

1. Always saying weird things into the phone, like "I'll get you next time, Space Captain!"

I guess they don't have to pay me as long as the boss sends along words of encouragement such as these...

"Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work. They are called "Spec Taters".

Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work. They are called "Comment Taters".

Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't want to soil their own hands. They are called "Dick Taters".

Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet. They are called "Agie Taters".

There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to actually doing the promised help. They are called "Hezzie Taters".

Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not. They are called "Emma Taters".

Then there are those who love others and do what they say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives of others. They are called "Sweet Taters".

Thanks for being "Sweet Taters!"

After reading that I just feel goofy, like telling knock-knock jokes, there's just something not quite right about it. On the other hand, it still brings a smile to your face.

James did some ethanol research...

"Perhaps this is not exactly what youre looking for, but this should help to explain why we don't use more ethanol.

Brazil uses ethanol because it has vast sugar cane growing capacity, which can efficiently make ethanol. we have to use corn or wheat, which isn't as cost efficient as simply pumping it from kuwait and shipping it over. Or so I am lead to believe.

BTW: cato refers to bob dole as "Senator Ethanol."

While the Democrats and MSM are talking about tax hikes, did anybody stop to consider spending cuts? Oh wait, never mind, it doesn't fit the liberal agenda.

While Seth and other democrats are quick to blame Bush and the Republican Attack Machine (RAM), look what the Mainstream Media (MSM) found. It turns out going back to 1998 state officials in Louisiana had been abusing federal emergency funds to the point of criminality. Money quote...

"In March, FEMA demanded that Louisiana repay $30.4 million to the federal government.

The problems are particularly worrisome, federal officials said, because they involve the Louisiana Office of Homeland Security and Emergency Preparedness, the agency that will administer much of the billions in federal aid anticipated for victims of Katrina."

Imagine that, government corruption and waste! Though this is to be expected considering that Louisiana has been under Democrat control for the last 140 years. Without any viable alternatives, elected government will stray towards corruption and inefficiancy. Of course, I don't have to tell that to anybody who is familiar with Italian or Detroit politics.

The NBA Season is a lot like rush, where it is never to early to plan ahead. Check out Kelly Dwyer's preview of the Pistons and the Central Division. It looks like this will probably be the toughest division in the NBA. Assuming nobody gets popped by the injury train, look for this division to beat up upon eachother during the regular season.