Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


Patrick Hruby has a great breakdown of some of the NBA's nastiest rumours. I especially liked his breakdown of shooting percentage being taken to task thanks to the rise of defense, as well as the way he sticks it to the casual fan by noting the game is a marathon, not a celebration of the last 5 minutes.

On the other hand, I had a problem with section 8...

"8. The Fix is in for Big-Market Teams
Blaming officials is nothing new. But during a 2001 playoff series between Philadelphia and Milwaukee, the Bucks took carping to a new level, submitting a self-spliced videotape of questionable calls to the league office.

Why the Zapruder-esque documentary?

"Nine times out of 10, when you have a referee you know there's no biases," then-Bucks guard Ray Allen told reporters. "But in the back of everybody's minds, it's like Philadelphia and the MVP [Allen Iverson] needs to play in the finals."

Of course when you define the conspiracy along narrow tv market lines you will have a problem. But the truth is, David Stern is a marketer. And the conspiracy is not limited to big markets. The conspiracy is about getting the stars involved in the Finals. That is why we saw teams featuring Shaq, Young Penny Hardaway, Kobe, Jason Kidd, Reggie Miller, Allen Iverson, Tim Duncan and his internationals go deep into the playoffs.

Of course I don't buy this considering the way solid teams like Detroit, San Antonio, Indiana recently have all gone deep into the playoffs. With that being said I will certainly not deny that I have also seen some sketchy behavior from "Knick" Bavetta, Ron Garretson and co. But don't take my word for it, just ask the 2000 Trailblazers, 2002 Kings, or the 2003 Pistons.

As police led the suspects out, a crowd that had gathered chanted the refrain from the TV show "Cops": "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?" A huge cheer erupted when a bus took the suspects away, Sira said.

I just love the imagery of this scene. As if these people don't have jobs or anything better to do than to watch the crack funeral parlor get taken down. But anyways, this raises another question for Ole Tondar, what is the strangest facility to serve as a crackhouse? I would guess that this would certainly make the top 5.

Thursday, November 03, 2005


Sometimes it is easy to forget that Dark Lord Denise is descended from the Destroyer Line. Nevertheless, if one looks closely it is easy to see the Sword of Genocide and the Bottle of Displacement in her hands as well. Take for example her recent trip to the cottage. Of course now that Denise has returned to the workforce she has abandoned her womanly duties and refuses to cook. Thus last weekend she decided to take advantage of some coupons and get the Taco Bell family meal. Nothing too out of the ordinary there. Everybody likes tacos. Sure, Taco Bell is traditionally for those of us in the prime of our lives with fully functional digestive systems. But I'm not going to contest that point.

Now everybody knows the darn thing about tacos is that they make you thirsty. Now when I was a kid, we always used to stop off in Newaygo to buy beer. Big Ed would by a case of Molson, Wiedemann, Blatz, or Pabst long necks. Being "the weekend" and all, Big Ed would also pick up a Blatz 40 oz. to drink on the drive up. Being a kid I thought nothing of the folks having a beer in their 1980 UGA National Champs Cups while we drove to the cottage. To capture a bit of this nostalgia Denise demanded Big Ed pull off and pick up some beer. Unfortunately he failed at this since his cheapness led him instead to buy the cheapest 40 in the cooler - A BIG ASS BOTTLE OF KING COBRA MALT LIQUOR. So there you have it. Picture my folks driving in their Buick munching on Taco Bell and washing it down with KING COBRA MALT LIQUOR.

I may be Tondar the Destroyer, known for my love of dangerous behavior and bum liquors. But first of all, I have never consumed KING COBRA (yes, it's so nasty I must type it all in caps). KING COBRA is the nasty of the nasty malt liquors, being a favorite of the late 90s Chicago bum scene because you could get a deuce-deuce for $.97. Secondly to mix it with tacos and a little drinkin' & drivin, you know you have to be messin' with one hardcore mother, or quite simply; a Destroyer by birthrite.


I have been tentatively scheduled for training in ATL at the end of January, for January 30-31; I think my chances of going are 50/50.

I will keep you posted if things become definite.



Whoa Nelly! Better hide your Asians and summon Clown Hair from his Tennessee stronghold. We could be talking about a Train Wreck of 628 proportions.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Don't be scared. Sometimes it's ok to get a haircut. Posted by Picasa

So I held my head high
Knew I'd survive
I made it
Don't hate it
That's just the way it goes

I've done made it through
Stand on my own two
I've paid my dues
Yeah, yeah-yeah!

Tried to hold me down
You can't stop me now
I've paid my dues"

Brado on Charlie Weis at ND...

"While I think Weis will turn out to be more than a flash in the pan, I still think it was a little too early to shell out that kinda dough. I guess it's only the tuition of 1000 students though : ) The assertions of race are pretty outlandish. In my opinion the only reason he's getting this deal over Willingham is, as this SI article later stated, he's an NFL coach so you've gotta put a lot of honey in the pot to keep him around. There was no real danger of Willingham leaving for a head coaching gig in the NFL when he first started at ND. You've gotta put in some substantial winning seasons in college ball before you get a look for a head position in the NFL, like Nick Saban."

Just wondering how much honey they put in his pot? His "Irish" belly makes it look like he's smuggling 40 pounds of twizzlers into the movies.

I don't really have time to commit many ideas to bytes right now. However, I have been thinking about possible topics for Tondar's NBA preview, so look for that to be posted over the coming days. In the meantime, check out Bill Simmons' take. I especially liked the part where he ripped the traditional media punditry of ESPN and CNNSI.

Monday, October 31, 2005


From Frank...

"To All:

I have another little star-sighting for all of you from Hollywood...

Last Friday night, while on the hunt for bars, my friends and I stopped at a light in the Brentwood neighborhood (Wilshire and Bundy, to be exact), and to our right pulled up a car. One of my friends in the car stated, "Hey, that's Adam Sandler!" I scoffed to myself, thinking it highly unlikely, but another friend of mine piped up and said, "Yeah, it's Adam Sandler!" I turned and looked, and my friends proved me wrong: It was Adam Sandler.

When I first glanced over, I saw a young, cute little blond girl sitting shotgun. When I looked at the driver, I saw Adam Sandler, wearing a plain t-shirt, baseball cap and looking like he was working out of late (his arms were HUGE). He acknowledged us spotting him, and when he drove off ahead of us, he gave us the peace sign out of his window.

Interesting side note: he was driving, of all cars, a mid-to-late 90s Cadillac STS. This is hilarious to me, since it is such a "downscale" car for someone of his income, wealth and fame. In LA, you have people who make a FRACTION of his income or wealth driving cars that are worth multiple times as much. It is like he was some Northeast kid who thought he was all money and bought a used Cadillac from his grandparents. Hell, he was dressed like some suburban kid from Long Island!

I will give him mad props though: he had a modesty to him that is lost upon a lot of the fu fu Hollywood elites in this town.

BTW, if anyone is interested in coming out to LA (or meeting up in Vegas) this year, please let me know-I will almost assuredly have the last week of the year off. I know air fare is expensive this time of year, but if you can find a deal, please let me know. And flying to Vegas might be cheap between Christmas and New Year's (definitely not right before either holidays.)



Oh Pabst! Why dost thou bring the wrath of the duke? Baby snakes as black as sack cloth, burn thy way back into the center of the Earth from which thou came! Posted by Picasa

Looks like Ted Stevens has struck again. First, there was his pork-ariffic bridge to nowhere. Now there is Katrina medicaid relief for the state of Alaska. Behold, the Republican party of our day, big spending, big government fat cats. Not that I'm holding my breath, but I wonder if Sean Hannity will call Stevens to task for this?

On a personal note I don't know too much about Judge Alito. However, from what I heard, he sounds like everything Miers wasn't both from a judicial and experience standpoint. It's funny if you head out into the internet you will find a wide variety of opinions on Alito. On the one hand, the Volokh Conspiracy has balanced praise and analysis of some of Alito's decisions. On the other hand, the democrats have their vague manipulative talking points. Given their lack of evidence it is obvious they are simply trying to sink the nomination for partisan reasons. Democrats and abortion good. Republicans bad, grrrrr :(

Though as Todd Zywicki points out, it is obvious where all the intellectual firepower is in America today. Of course this time around, unlike when Bork was nominated, it will be interesting to see the influence of alternative media on the debate. No longer can the liberal MSM control debate. Afterall, look at how CBS' John Roberts had to apologize for calling Alito "Sloppy Seconds." Do you think that would have happened 15-20 years ago? I don't think so.

Sunday, October 30, 2005


"He's gayer than a crab-apple convention."