Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Friday, February 17, 2006

What does a vegan pirate do in jail?
Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve! Posted by Picasa

You see, there are moments when perfection itself appears in a hand or in a face, in some nuance on the flank of a hill or on the sea's surface, moments when your heart is paralyzed before the miracle of beauty.... That creature seemed to me at that moment a superb aquatic bird, a heron, or a swan. I said her hair was blond, but no: as the head slowly moved, the hair at times had bluish glints, at other times it seemed to have a light fire running through it. I could see the outline of her bosom, soft and delicate as the breast of a dove. I had become nothing but pure gaze. I saw smoething ancient, because I knew I was not seeing something beautiful, but beauty itself, like the holy thought of God. I was discovering that perfection, even glimpsing it once, and once only, was something light and lovely. I looked at that form from the distance, but I felt that I had no hold on that image, as happens when you are on in years and you seem to glimpse clear signs on a parchment, but you know that the moment you move closer they will blur, and you will never be able to read the secret that the page was promising you - or, as in dreams, when something you desire appears to you, you reach out, move your fingers in the void, and grasp nothing."

Umberto Eco, "Baudolino"
Page 417

Thursday, February 16, 2006


Check out Vox Day's celebration of a woman's most cherished right. I find it interesting because I have never really considered the racial impacts before. But you can't argue with logic like this. My only concern is that the NBA Gestational Tax would disproportionately affect whites, hispanics, and Yao Ming. But I guess that's where we see the realization of Martin Luther King's Dream.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


Now that Valentine's Day is over it's best for women to get back in their place before I have to snap my goon hand across their dome. As Ike would say, a good wife always knows her place. Posted by Picasa

The clock is up and running on this years celebration in Atlanta. So here are a few points of logistics for the kids...

1. I'm not going to book the hotel until I get an itinerary from Jason. I seek the ocular proof that you will be joining us in the Durrty Durrty.

2. I still have not gotten any feedback for adventure. If you don't toss out some ideas I will just have to plan the whole thing myself.

3. Here are a few of the things I need...

2 big bottles of Richard's Red
1 bottle of Thunderbird
1 bottle of Nighttrain
1 bottle of Maddog 20/20 (any flavor)
4 bottles of Cisco (various flavors)
2 12 packs of the PBR
1 6 pack of the Sweetwater Blue
1 half gallon of the Johnny Walker Red
1 half gallon of the Castillo Blanco (ahoy)
3 2 liters of off brand cola
1 12 pack of the Josef Haufbauer
1 loaf of bread

anything else I will leave up to the discretion of the kids...

Also, when packing be sure to grab warm old clothes for Adventure. Also it might not be a bad idea to bring something soft to crash on. A man only has so many linens and things, but thanks to Denise I've got towels coming out of my ass. Hit me up with an e-mail for logistical questions or comments.

And remember in addition to dozens of high-quality music acts, Tonnaroo features a host of activities and festival extras to create a feast for the senses. There is something for everyone within our complete entertainment experience. Check back for updates.

While Seth and I were in France I attempted to buy some snus in a Tobac. Of course they looked at us as if we had requested a shark sandwich. But it turns out there's a reason it hasn't made it's way into the rest of Europe...

"Snus, a form of chewing tobacco, has been outlawed by EU fiat in every nation except Sweden, which secured a -special opt-out as a condition of its joining the EU, and in every region - except Aland."

Does any body know where I can get my hand on snus here in the states?

Anyways, also be sure to check out this article on how centralization has just been oh so wonderful to the sovereign island of Aland. The good news seems to be that they may be able hold off the EU...

"Thanks to a quirk of early 20th-century history, Aland's 26,000 people are essentially sovereign co-rulers of their home nation of Finland. As such, they can veto any international treaty that Finland wants to enter, including EU treaties.

And the islanders are threatening to do just that when the European Commission attempts to revive the moribund EU constitution later this year."

The bad news is that the Imperial Government will probably create their centralized state by force when most of the other nations have surrendered their sovereignty via democratic means.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Drunk as Drake on turpentine
From Tiff's open kisses,
Your wet body wedged
Between the mast and the Drake
Of our boat that is made out of flowers,
Feasted, we guide it - our fingers
Like tallows adorned with light rock -
Over the sky's hot rim,
The day's last breath in our sails. Posted by Picasa

I think I'm going to take up PVC-smithing. I have this idea for a sword in mind that I'd like to run by all of you engineers and ancient warriors. I'm thinking that the PVC sword should be constructed with a 1 inch cross piece having a handle that is 1 inch while using a bushing to reduce the blade to 3/4 inch. I would then cover the blade in silver insulation, holding it in place with duct tape. During my next staff meeting I will draw one to present as a pic of the day. If anybody else has any ideas for weapons please pass them on I think we might be on to something a bit more sturdy than security signs and old sticks (not that I don't have them stored in my closet for future use).

I hate to say it but Drake will always be my special Valentine. I remember back to the dark days of the war, just 3 broken men cowering in the aftermath of their first redheads. Drake and I spent February 14, 2000 bunkered down in South Quad with nothing but bigguns and trolls nipping at our heals. Sure we may have had Napster in her prime, but we were also facing the brutal Michigan winter and her unfortunate excuse for women. Of course in that kind of environment depression was the only thing to breed. But for that one brief magical night, I gorged myself on a bag of doritos (the chips don't judge, they love me for who I am), while Paul downed a bit of the hard stuff. And together we turned rock bottom into a celebration of classic cheese as we repeatedly blasted Elton John's and Kiki Dee's masterpiece. Don't worry Drake, I won't go breakin' YOUR heart...

Don't go breaking my heart
I couldn't if I tried
Ah, Honey, if I get restless
Baby, you're not that kind

Don't go breaking my heart
You take the weight off of me
Ah, Honey, when you knock on my door
Ooh, I gave you my key

Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
When I was down
I was your clown
Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
Right from the start
I gave you my heart
Ooh-hoo.. I gave you my heart

So don't go breaking my heart
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my heart

And nobody told us
`Cause nobody showed us
And now it's up to us, Babe
Ooh I think we can make it

So don't misunderstand me
You put the light in my life
Oh, you put the sparks to the flame
I've got your heart in my sights

Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
When I was down
I was your clown
Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
Right from the start
I gave you my heart
Ooh-hoo.. I gave you my heart

Don't go breaking my heart
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my heart

Ooh-hoo, and nobody knows it
When I was down
I was your clown
Right from the start
I gave you my heart
Ooh-hoo.. I gave you my heart

Don't go breaking my heart
I won't go breaking your heart
(Don't go breakin' my, don't go breakin' my)
Don't go breaking my heart

(Don't go breakin' my, don't go breakin' my)
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my heart
(Don't go breakin' my)
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my heart
(Don't go breakin' my)
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my heart
(Don't go breakin' my)
I won't go breaking your heart
Don't go breaking my heart
(Don't go breakin' my)
I won't go breaking your heart

To celebrate St. Valentine's Day the Sports Guy had this link to a blast from the past. This is a great tribute to when the NBA and video games were more important than the ladies. Or maybe I should just say...




Check out the hissy fit that NBC's David Gregory throws because some smalltown Texas paper scooped him on the Vice-Presidential shooting story. I'd be fired if I behaved like this much of an ass. But I guess this behavior is acceptable when addressing a Republican official...

"NBCNEWS chief White House correspondent David Gregory warned President Bush's spokesman on Monday not to be a "jerk!"

The heated exchange came during a press gathering at the White House.

Gregory asked White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan about the Cheney hunting accident.

'David, hold on, the cameras aren't on right now,' McClellan replied. 'You can do this later.'

'Don't accuse me of trying to pose to the cameras,' Gregory said, voice rising. 'Don't be a jerk to me personally when I'm asking you a serious question.'

'You don't have to yell,' McClellan said.

'I will yell,'' said Gregory, pointing a finger at McCellan at his dais. 'If you want to use that podium to try to take shots at me personally, which I don't appreciate, then I will raise my voice, because that's wrong.'

'Calm down, Dave, calm down,' said McClellan.

'I'll calm down when I feel like calming down,' Gregory said. 'You answer the question.'

'I have answered the question,' said McClellan, who had maintained that the vice president's office was in charge of getting the information out and worked with the ranch owner to do that. 'I'm sorry you're getting all riled up about.'

'I am riled up,' Gregory said, 'because you're not answering the question.'"

Monday, February 13, 2006

When there's nothing else to believe in, believe in Mao Posted by Picasa

Remember how upset conservatives were when Justice Kennedy used international law as a basis for deciding a death penalty case? Well it turns out that this is also a phenomenon of the right as well. Check out what Eugene Volokh had to say about Boos v. Barry. You will be surprised which judges dissented to support international restrictions on free speech.

From the AP...

"But the beds in the Olympic Village are hard and there's no room service. That alone may be enough to throw figure skater Johnny Weir off his game.

Of course, Weir dresses as a swan for his short program so he looks at things a bit different than the average athlete.

"I am very princessy as far as travel is concerned and having a nice room and things like that," Weir said."

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
That's nothing that a 100 men or more could ever do
For I have pressed the snow down in Georgia
I'm gonna take some time to do the things we never have

My wild neighbors cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
As sure as Stone Mountain rises like a empress above the Piedmont Plateau
I seek to cure what's deep inside
Frightened of this thing that I've become

Hurry boy,
She's waiting there for you.

Sunday, February 12, 2006


I know many of the kids have been talking about my Maoist Propaganda of late. However, on the advice of Pigpen I have turned my attention to North Korea. If you get the chance check out their idea of a propaganda. Also be sure to check out the Norman Rockwell inspired Kim Il Sung cycle. Finally, in case you haven't heard, North Korea propaganda has been pimping reunification at the Olympics.

It seems the high quality my camera turns out actually makes the pictures of 70's Tondar look about 30 year old. Posted by Picasa

I was saddened to see all the political fallout from the funeral of Coretta Scott King. Sure there were a few douchebags that certainly used the pulpit to advance themselves. However, I felt that the remarks of President Carter and Rev. Joseph Lowery were so minor compared to the entire message of the Going Home Ceremony. What's worse, instead of using this moment to celebrate the success of the civil rights movement the right jumped all over it as another moment to defend President Bush.

Being in Atlanta, I actually listened to probably about half of the 6 hour funeral on WSB 750 AM. Between all the great speakers and music, I found it to be very moving and uplifting. And in case you're interested, the AJC actually has pretty good coverage of the event.

I was especially moved by the Eulogy delivered by King's daughter Bernice. She spoke of her mother's passing as a new horizon and beginning, and how her mother's work fit into God's plan even if it's not understood as it unfolds. Of course this message of faith was totally overlooked. But I guess that is to be expected when you bring so many Clintons and Bushes into one building. On the other hand, I really thought it was quite shameful the way the conservative media latched onto these minor outbursts as if they represented the entire 6 hour service. Not only does it reduce the importance of the funeral, but it also rewards the rude behavior of Lowery and Carter with press time that their footnote lives would not generate on their own.