Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, April 08, 2006


Looks like Tres has had enough adventure for one night. Posted by Picasa

Remember the Techno Opera from Luc Besson's "5th Element?" Well here is a site dedicated to the actaul opera "Lucia Di Lammermoor" from which the Diva's aria is taken.

It's actually quite fitting how the lyrics go with the story...

The sweet sound
Of his voice I hear!...Ah, that voice
So deeply embedded in my heart!...
Edgar! I'm yours again,
Edgar! Ah! My Edgar!
Yes, I'm yours again!
I've escaped from your enemies...(enemies)
There's a chill in my bosom!
Every fibre trembles!...My foot's unsteady!
Sit with me near the fountain...
??Yes, sit with me near the fountain????

Upon the banks of the Tiber, Tondar and T-Bagg received word of an army moving against the most Holy and Roman Emperor, Frederick of Barbarossa. Grabbing their swords they headed out to fight. However, along the way they were distracted by a beautiful Pepsi vault of gold. They could see it's blue light flickering in the distance like the dawn breaking over the Eastern lands of the Saracens. But before they could open the vault an enchantress put a spell upon Our Brothers and they fell to fighting amongst themselves in the Pines of Illyrium. A greater duel has not been seen, but fortunately our heroes came to their senses before a mortal blow was struck.

From thence, Our Brothers remained focused and perservered with the Word of the Lord on their tongue, they besieged the Ancient Temple of Forgotten Wisdom. It was upon this site that the Baron Tondar once remarked that it was fortunate to see the death caravan for it meant that a new seat was opening at the most glorious shrine on the near bank of the Tiber. At the Baron's word the archers opened fire and this was enough for T-Bagg to lead a most valiant charge. Upon this night our warrior brethren emerged victorious, slaughtering many of the ancients. Indeed the death caravan rode again that night with both lanterns ablaze while an excessive abundance of cowbell filled the air.

The victory at the Temple of Forgotten Wisdom was short lived, for Barbarossa was on the move, and at the same time word had reached Our Heroes of a new city being created in defiance of the most Holy and Roman Emperor. Tondar and T-Bagg witnessed the birth of this city. Amongst the dirt hovels and strange yellow dragons, the Baron discovered a most Holy and wondrous relic; The Grasal used by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ at his Final Supper. T-Bagg remarked upon its beauty saying that he could smell the perfumed essence of its holiness. In fact he was so inspired that he immediately wrote a new song...

O' Holy
Your name Profound
Mhyrre and Heather
Your wealth abound

The angels sing
the Demon wails
the suffering of Our Lord
held in this Grail

O' Holy
Your grace surrounds
in this Grasal
your love is found


With this relic secure on their person they ventured overland a great distance. Crossing mountains, and descending into a valley, where reigned the great tyrant Minos, who wielded his despotic power like a mace of foil, and through a trick of alchemic sorcery Our Brethren's sense of direction was confounded within his Labyrinth. Those most blessed souls remained trapped within the Vale of Minos as the days gave way to weeks. They marched in what appeared to be circles, and where trickery would not suffice in delaying their travels, the tyrant used baser techniques. At one point Our Heroes came to a place upon the pilgrim's road to the Holy See of St. Peter's only to find that a wall had been erected and it was covered in pitch. Not noticing it at first, Tondar began to scale the wall. But his efforts went unrewarded as he found himself covered in the evil black blood of the earth forcing him to seek remedy from lawn herbs found only in this region.

Still they traveled onward, and thrice the band was nearly caught by Minos' sentinels. But through their incomparable guile, the strength of their blades, and the wit of their minds they were able to divine the methodology of the labyrinth. They pressed onward following a deathcart for they would surely know the way out or at least to a nearby graveyard. And by the grace of the Lord they were rewarded, upon the route they discovered an excrimental exit through the sewers and out of the body of the labyrinth. T-Bagg led the way through that inglorious hole and upon the other side they reached, not safety, but a trap of two walls. But like the armies at Jericho, it merely took one note from T-Bagg's horn to crumple the chain links of the wall, allowing Tondar to enter the battle camp of the White Huns. Here the Baron single-handedly slayed 27 of the enemy using his most trusted weapon, Optimus Prime. Unfortunately, seeing how the mighty Tondar the Destroyer quickly slaughtered them, they became frightened and fled. T-Bagg knew that they would return with greater numbers in an attempt to steal the great weapons of the West and use these to conquer Rome.

To assume Our Brethren's situation could not worsen would be quite naive. For at this time they saw lightning flash upon the horizon. It appeared that a mighty storm was blowing into the region, where Our Heroes found themselves so far from home. They knew they must hurry if they were to stay ahead of the White Huns, and the storm. Tondar and T-Bagg ran with the speed of Hermes out of the Encampment of the White Huns, dodging their mounted warriors and chariots. Seeing their flight, an Angel of the Lord took pity upon Our Brethren and revealed the path upon which they could return. The confusion of the Labyrinth left their minds as clear as the sun shining on Easter morning. At this point, they struck out for home running at full speed. It was not until they reached the Vatican and the Holy See of St. Peter that they eased their pace. It had been an arduous journey but at last Tondar and T-Bagg were safe at home. And thusly they were rewarded for their efforts with cake.

Friday, April 07, 2006


Step right up one and all, and see how long you will live. Of course this calculator is all based on averages, but some idea is better than no idea.

Of course it predicts that Tondar should live 85.51 years. That has me dying on April 18, 2065. The first words that pop into my head are in Spanish: "Que lastima!"

It was a beautiful afternoon here in Atlanta so I decided to walk to daily Mass. This is not that rare since the Southern weather is often nice. Plus it allows me to get some fresh air and exercise. However, on the way home, who should pull up and offer me a ride, but none other than Lady Talkington herself. Now this isn't the first time this has happened with the ladies. But for crying out loud, is it that rare in the States to see somebody walking down the sidewalk? Are Americans that lazy that they would only walk when in dire need of locomotion? Of course both of these times it happened with an attractive young lady, so it could very well simply be a means of picking up guys. Let it be known that this is my time of silent contemplation and reflection. There is no longer a fountain around which I can pace listening to Natural Science. Thus I PREFER to cross the Tiber on foot and take up the mile long walk to church. From this day forward let it also be known that I have hitchhiked before, and if necessary I will thumb appropriately for a ride.


Thursday, April 06, 2006


Note the sealed handle. How do I get more weight in that beast? Posted by Picasa

So while sparring with Tres I noticed a problem with my sword. The balance of the whole thing is off and sometimes it is difficult to hold the blade erect. In fact, on numerous occaissions I found my self holding it up by the bottom of the "blade" itself. However, since I used primer and cement on the PVC, I'm not sure how to add more weight to the permanently sealed handle. Does any body have any ideas? Is there a way to get it open to stuff it with a sock full of pennies? Is there something I can attach to the outside to increase the weight? I tell you what, next time I smith a sword, I'm going to be sure to have the balance perfected before sealing everything up.

But oh well. I guess that's why this one was "prime."

3. First or early in time, order, or sequence; original.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


I'm just a soul whose intentions are good, Oh Lord please don't let me be misunderstood Posted by Picasa

Dave had some observations from the other side of the world...

"You see this woman has been robbed by me, but you did not give her a hand, you are such a coward and you are not a man"

---A robber sneering at a passerby after he robbed a woman in Siping of Jilin. He robbed and beat the woman December 25, but when he saw that a passerby witnessed the robbery, he stopped beating the victim and began to insult the witness. This passerby did not say a word until the robber left.

Of course if that happened in Texas they'd all pull out their guns and shoot him, but I think this could have happened anywhere else in America, don't you think? It's true what he said though, agreed?"

Tres: "My parents would be really pissed if I knocked up my sister."

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"They came in with so much more energy, it was like the varsity against the JV. You've got to keep trying. Somehow you've got to find five guys who care enough to compete. ... I never in my life thought I'd be in a position where you're begging guys to play." -- Knicks coach Larry Brown, after New York lost its ninth in a row, 105-90 to Washington on Tuesday night

Well it looks like the NY press has finally turned on Larry Brown. Of course this isn't a total trainwreck by his own doing. Zeke had a hand in this too taking on as many shoot first pointguards as possible. However, the thing I wonder about is if, Hall of Famer, Joe Dumars will pretend to offer Larry Brown his old job with the Pistons. Not to actually give it to him, but simply to tease him and see if he would walk away from the dumptruck of money he is currently earning.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


Well here's Tres' new band playing. No they don't normally play driveways, it was a block party. Posted by Picasa

It seems there has been a change of plan and once again we must do battle in La Citta Eterna. As Mikolaj Sep Szarzynski once wrote...

If midst Rome you wish to see Rome, pilgrim,
Tho in Rome naught of Rome might you see,
Behold the walls' ring, the theatres, temples
And ruptured pillars, to rubble all turned,
Rome be these! Mark how the corpse of a city
So strong still past fortune's pomp exudes;
Subduing a world, herself the city subdued
Lest yet more to subdue might there be.
Today in broken Rome, Rome unbroken
(A substance in its shadow) lies entombed.
Within all's changed; alone past change
Tiber remains, that to sea runs mixed with sand.
See what Fortune plays: 'tis wasted away,
What was unmoving; what moved, yet remains.

From time to time I will mention items of future history. However, it seems that many of you have never taken the time to explore the linky dinks. So now is your big chance. Be sure to swing by New Prophecy's Overview and Update Page and see what your future has in store.

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From Seth...

"I'm in Soho at Ben's apartment. W. Broadway and Grand St.

I didn't see Mr. Moore. Ben called as he was leaving for work and said it was a Moore film. I asked a guy when I came outside who was working on the lighting and he said it was a Lotto commercial. Then i watched from across the street and another guy who was watching told some others who stopped that it was a michael moore film. And then a girl walking by told the dude it was a moore film on health care they're shooting.

I took a picture. It's like three ladies well-dressed eating outside a restaurant, pretending it's not as cold as it is.

i'm guessing the crew guy lied. With all the psycho righty nutjobs out there who hate the guy, they probably wouldn't want to broadcast that he's there."

I wonder if Moore is doing a parody of those propaganda commercials from the Social Security Administration where the old people are talking about how easy their medicaid drug plans are. Though between Michael Moore and Michael Savage, you could take that parody both left and right.

At 10:03 this morning Seth seems to have found himself on set...

"You're not going to believe this:

I'm at Ben's apartment and michael moore is shooting a movie right outside the window.

I'm going down to investigate."

Monday, April 03, 2006


Sometimes the world can be a very disturbing place. Take for example the tragedy of Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber. He caused a lot of pain and destruction before finally being turned in by his brother, David. In spite of this tragedy, it seems there is a bit of good that has come of the whole thing...

"As executive director of New Yorkers Against the Death Penalty since 2001, Kaczynski tells his story to put human face on an emotional issue.

Kaczynski, 56, was once hesitant to speak before a large audience. He is now polished after some 100 speeches a year. He is soft-spoken but keeps listeners rapt with a highly personal telling of a well-known tale."

I think this is a great example of how God works in our lives. For every tragedy there is a chance to love one another in healing these wounds. And for every sin there is a chance to find redemption and reconciliation. The challenge for each of us is to be more like David, and to take up our cross and through Christ convert our own tragedies into opportunities for fellowship. It's certainly not the easy thing to do. But we would all be better off for it.

Behold; Optimus Prime in all her glory! Posted by Picasa

Obviously Shaq is a big fan of irony. Of all the people to complain about officiating, it seems the Diesel is upset because Jason Collins won't roll over and die as is scripted...

"There was a lot of flopping today and they just fell for it. They make these rules up and they don't follow them. We all know there's a double standard. I just wish they wouldn't make it so obvious."

Why don't you, Phil Jackson, and Danny Ainge gather up all your tampons and build a teepee for Chief Wetsinpants. When there is a whole facet of the game played in your favor, you no longer have the right to complain.

The forecast for Sevierville this weekend may not be cooperating. Friday is to be 77 with isolated thunder storms. This rain will continue over to saturday with a few showers and a high of 68 predicted. However, Sunday is heaven sent with sun and a high of 72. In addition, to the weather, we must keep in mind our mission in seeking Kubla Khan's assistance against the Muslim hoardes...

"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced:
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail:
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean:
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war!
The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.
It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!

A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw:
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win me,
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise."

It sounds like Tondar and Tres aren't the only ones running down adventure...

Hello all!

I hope this email finds you well. The adventure has begun, and it has been almost a week that I have been away from home. I am gonna give you a little rundown of the week's events and some helpful tips if you ever travel to where I went this week!

Tuesday I departed from Grand Rapids and headed up to New York where I met Sean (lives in NYC, teaches Spanish, I met him when I studied abroad in Spain). Sean picked me up from the airport, and we met Jill there as well. (Jill lives in Georgia, is doing the program with me, and we also met in Spain). By the time we got to Sean's house, we ate dinner and chatted the rest of the night away since we haven't seen each other in almost a year. Wednesday Jill and I taught the culture of Spain at Sean's school to his classes all day, and we even got to show a slideshow of pictures of our trip last summer. Later that night we had a bit too much fun in Long Island with dinner and drinks, but we had to celebrate our last night in the US!

Wednesday Jill and I went into town and walked the Brooklyn bridge, took pictures, went through Chinatown, and had lunch. Police have been cracking down on selling fake/stolen purses (Kate Spade, Gucci, Prada, etc..). This woman approached us and asked if we wanted one, and we said sure! She led us about 10 blocks up the street to this deserted area and we went into the back of her van to see her supply. It was totally shady, and I didn't get one due to fear of being shot or arrested! Ha! It was an interesting experience! That afternoon we almost missed our flight since our train was later than expected, but we made it. I ran into Sean's place and threw all of my stuff in the bag and got in a cab to JFK airport. It was crazy, but then again it always is with me!

The flight to Amsterdam was pretty rough. There were screaming babies, and the guy behind me kept kicking my seat to wake me up! I wish there was a way to travel without the long flights....yuck!

Jill and I spent the day in Amsterdam since we had a 14 hour layover. We went into the city and stopped at the Anne Frank Huis (house) first. A couple of years ago I had visited this before, but I recently read her famous diary, so it was much more meaningful this time around. If you ever get a chance to go to Amsterdam, this is a must see (but read the Diary FIRST!). Several times I found myself fighting back tears, especially once I saw the bookcase that blocked the secret annex. We even got to go up through the bookcase just like they did when they were in hiding. It sent chills through my whole body. I can't possibly imagine living in hiding for so long because of what I believe in for religion. I look at it now and it is hard to believe that this didn't take place all that long ago, but then I realize that there are still horrible things happening to people all around the world for different reasons- either race, lifestyle, religion...or many other aspects. I feel so blessed to live in a country that has so many freedoms! The world still has a long way to go, so I hope that in my lifetime I can help in the fight for equality for all. Take a minute to appreciate all that you have and all that you do!

Ok, so Amsterdam was great. The Red Light District was crazy as always with prostitutes in windows as early as 10:30 in the morning. I visited the huge church smack in the centre of the district called "Ode Kirk." This church wasn't all that pretty, but I guess nothing will be as pretty to me as the cathedral in Sevilla where I lived in Spain. The smell of pot was all around us since people there are allowed to smoke and have it at the coffeeshops. The menu in the coffeeshop had an 3 coffee drinks on it, and the other pages were all hash and marijuana. Amsterdam would be a crazy place to live since there are so many tourists going nuts there! I was pretty embarassed by some young Americans' behavior in the city! Please, if you go, don't give the rest of us a bad name! Control yourself! No wonder so many people look down upon us!

After our adventure, we went to the airport and got on our flight to Cairo. We arrived in Egypt at 1am, and got our bags. I don't think I was ever that happy to see my bag in my life. I had been having nightmares that my bag would never get to me, and I would end up wearing the same clothes for a month!

Upon arrival, we got a ride to Alexandria (the city on the Med. sea where we will be studying for the month). Alex is about 3 hours away by car, and 5 by bus. It was one of the craziest, shadiest, scariest rides of my life. We made it to Alex at 5am, but then we were lost for the next hour finding our place. The next hour has been completely blocked from memory because I was so nervous/ scared, so no worries.... I am fine now. We got to our place and slept for hours on end since it had been nearly 3 days since we had slept.

Egypt....oh my goodness. I don't even know where to begin. There are 6 people in class including Jill and myself; Ryan is from Australia, Rob is from Chicago, Pleungte is from the Netherlands, and Caroline is from England. They are all really nice people, so I am glad to be doing the program with them. Saturday night we went out for some hookah and tea, and then headed back early since our first day of class was on Sunday.

Egyptians' work week is from Sunday- Thursday, with Friday being their holyday. Our first day of class was intense, and so was today. At lunch yesterday, I almost had my first anxiety attack. Picture yourself going into place to eat that had no pictures of the food (it is so much easier to point at it with pictures!) .... and all of the words look like scribble marks (Arabic). The food is completely different, and you don't know where to order, or how to speak a word in their language. Everyone is already staring at you since you don't fit in due to clothing and skin color (and as a woman I do not have my head covered). What do you do? How do you get food? That is what I felt when I was standing there. There were tons of people crowded around me and I had to figure out what to do. Fortunately, I finally managed to get falafel which was actually quite tasty. (and cheap...about 10 cents US money) Everyday, everything I do is quite a struggle since the language is so different! They read and write backwards! AH!

Well, I know your eyes are falling out by now since this is so long, so I will write more next week. Take care, and enjoy yourself. Egypt is great, and I am really enjoying it despite my lack of Arabic. I learn more and more everyday, so it will be just fine. We are right on the sea and it is beautiful. No complaints here!

Miss you all! Thanks for the messages! Take care!

Love Kat

Sunday, April 02, 2006


No, that's not Bespin. Just the ATL welcoming Tondar back home. Posted by Picasa