Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, June 24, 2006


From the AJC...

A 79-year-old woman accused of killing her 85-year-old former boyfriend was convicted of murder by a Fulton County Superior Court jury late Friday afternoon.

Lena Sims Driskell showed no emotion as she was sentenced to life in prison plus five years for the June 2005 killing of Herman Winslow. Winslow was shot to death in the lobby of an Atlanta senior citizen complex where the one-time couple lived in separate apartments.

It's funny that even the people in the nursing home are killing each other here in crimes of passion. And to top it all off we even have a moment of typical womanly nagging...

"The victim's relatives said they were upset at Driskell's testimony that Herman Winslow had "cheated" on her. Son Horace recounted his father returned from a trip to Daytona Beach with Driskell four days before his slaying. "He seemed quiet and I asked what was wrong. He said, 'I was tired of that woman, and I wanted to get away from all her 'blah, blah.' "

I Am The Sea

Helpless Dancer.

Is it me?

Bell Boy.

Love Reign O'er Me.

From the NYPost...

Hubie Brown wants to return as ABC's lead NBA analyst. But will he be invited back? The informative Brown's contract ended after the just-concluded Finals. While he looks at himself as a "teacher,'' people close to the NBA think the league may want more of an entertainer to appeal to the casual fan.

Great, sounds like 2003 all over again with Bill Walton doing the color. Obviously the top choice is Marv Albert and the Czar, Mike Fratello. However, what I discovered about Hubie Brown these playoffs is that he and I are cut from same cloth. Actually, it's probably a result of me growing up with him doing all those games on TNT. But regardless, we have many of the same perceptions about the NBA. There were countless times that I screamed something at the TV only to have Hubie say it seconds later. Sometimes, you would even find yourself speaking in the second person as well. But you see if you take away Hubie Brown, what you're going to have to deal with is a lot of angry fans with a low probability of being heard by the networks. More importantly, if they bring back Bill Walton and you watch here, you will see Tondar die of a heart attack before 30.

Hear me ABC, Bill Walton is only tolerable when Marv Albert is making fun of him! If you don't have an ABA championship then you don't belong on ABC. So let it be blogged, so let it be done.

Sounds like Pigpen needs some re-education...

"Does the whining ever end...does it ever end? Is nothing ok, is technology inherently evil. I did not read the whole thing, but the italics at the bottom of the article are priceless...yeah that's right - you read correctly...

This story is the first in a two-part series on how air-conditioning has changed society. Next week: How air-conditioning may have helped elect George W. Bush.

Stan Cox is a plant breeder and writer in Salina, Kansas (average high for the past week: 95 degrees).

So all along it was the air conditioning that has been the Democrats issue breakdown - it all makes so much ridiculous sense now. The GOP fought Vietnam over air conditioning and the rise of McCarthyism was all because of air conditioning.

Get the red phone - we have our smoking gun"

From Seth...

How can anyone be so utterly wrong so often?

First, he calls the Big Ten overrated again. That's because to Drew Sharp, there's only one college football game that matters each year, and that's the BCS championship. I guess Michigan/Ohio State is a conspiracy to boost ratings.

The gamble the Big Ten is taking by not putting beer commercials is a financial one. Who's going to be sitting around criticizing them? Beer companies? For every Budweiser shareholder who can't figure out why the conference would turn down their money, there's going to be 100 Dutch Christians in the Muskegon Metropolitan Area yelling "hip hip hurrah."

Is this the university's biggest interest? Beer commercials sometimes funny exploit women and stereotypes and what-not, purposely playing on youthful sensitivities and sexuality to make them think they need a Bud Light for girls to like them, a Labatt Blue to make friends, and a Corona to go on Spring Break. But more often, they're just funny. The Bud Bowl was funny. The Bud-Weis-Er frogs and the lizards making fun of them were funny. The Man Law table is great. The "Yes I am" commercials are still quoted.

This is a free market economy and a culture that values a free exchange of ideas. The Big Ten isn't the government, so they're allowed to currtail what ads on their precious channel are saying. But singling out one industry without provocation is un-American. I would expect them to preview the commercials that came to them, and edit out all the "Great Taste/Less Filling" Catfight-style ones.

It's also a stupid move. As Drew said, next to cars (which make up the other half of the biggest killer of Big Ten Network viewers), alcohol is the biggest source of income for television sports. Why in the world would you want to knock away your biggest revenue stream at the onset of a new channel?

Is there any hint that getting rid of beer commercials will curb drinking at colleges? If so, I'd love to read that study, because alcohol abuse and college were chummy long before the first televised games.

Without the Budweiser dollars, you KNOW the network is going to have to try to make up the money from somewhere else. So rather than filling day programming with replays of Woody/Bo games and a Reality TV show about OSU sorostitutes (a much worse effect than beer commercials I would imagine), the station could reap in the funds for football and basketball games on the weekend and use weekday afternoons for student films, lectures by the conference's top professors, and other PBS-like programming that truly helps the students at these universities succeed.

Cutting beer commercials is pure PR, and dumb PR at that.

Seth, you should know that it's more than just dumb ole PR my friend. As our dawgs in the rap game tell us, it's all about the money. Sure, the University would love the extra beer money but if they are seen "supporting" the alcohol industry, they will be hit even harder the next frivolous lawsuit. The name of this game isn't free market capitalism, that's a given. What we're seeing is classic lawyerly "loss mitigation." Remember stupid Courtney Cantor? Back in 1998 she had too many drinks at a frat party, took a deadly tumble out the 6th floor window at Markley sssssssssssssssssssooooooooo her parents sue the University for causing her death. Seth, is absolutely right when he says that drinking is a part of college life. But it wasn't until recently that it became a liability for the Universities. If the Big 10 allowed beer advertisements, the next time some stupid cunt drank too much and died, or simply had sex with somebody that turned out to be very uncool in the morning, the University would face increased liability for their "athletic endorsement" of alcohol. Sure people make the individual choice to drink, but our litigous society insists on spreading the blame for these decisions. The Big 10 is simply looking out for the next group of Cantors and their lawyers.

No doubt, Drew Sharp is a tool box. However, this column should have still been written, but instead it belongs in the business section.

From Pigpen...

It's about time the NBA got it, I though the second son of Jorel would NEVER get another title. It's a good thing David Stern stepped in and stopped all the game play and non-sense that every other team has come to feel is behooving of them in the game of basketball - by which I mean actually playing basketball. To make it better, why don't we just forego next season entirely and give the trophy to Cleveland - just so we don't need to go through the futility of playing basketball and having AI, Wade and Shaq get all tuckered out.

What a crock that Miami won - this is worse than Carolina winning Lord Stanley's Cup.

For the first time ever I think I can say: At least we still got the Tigers (sorry Braves, the wheels are flying off the tepee faster than you can say wampum)

Well more on the Braves and their "Great Hunt" for last place later. But ole Tondar was disappointed in the way the NBA Finals ended. In sports theory it is almost a law that the better team will win a 7 game series. In this case, I feel that Dallas was truly robbed. Sure the Mavs did their part to implode in games 3, 4, and 5. However, there was some very strange officiating at work in games 3 & 5. Remember good ole Danny Crawford in game 3? Yeah, he's one of the Piston haters from 2005. There were a lot of bad calls that simply left me feeling unclean after watching those two games. As Pigpen pointed out it seemed to be a coronation for the Dwayne Wade show. What was worse was the media reaction. Seth, Hubie Brown, and myself were the only ones that seemed to notice that Dallas was actually playing well, except for the fact that their normally high percentage shots were just not falling through the rim as they had all season.

But all bitching and whining aside I think there is one reason we saw Miami win this series: coaching. As great of a coach as Avery Johnson is and will certainly be in the future, he met his match in Old Master Riley. Pat has a way of controlling games, building teamwork, and emphasizing the most important tactics at the most crucial moments. There were times in this series that Johnson simply let the Heat go on a run without a disrupting time out. There was the timeout episode at the end of game 5 where he freaked out Josh Howard and somehow a time out was called. Finally, in game 3 he allowed Miami to roll the ball in bounds to save time on the clock. Instead he opted to stay in the zone. Between Danny Crawford and Dwayne Wade, there was no way that zone was going to work at that stage of the 4th quarter. He should have gone with a full court press earlier on and preferably forced the ball into the hands of Walker, Haslem or Shaq (for the foul). In addition to these circumstances there were several other times that Johnson simply lost his cool and looked like a deer in the headlights (especially when Crawford and Salvatore were doing their thing). One doesn't see this behavior in an old master like Riley (let that be a lesson for the business world as well).

But anyways, the Sports Guy raises an even more salient point about the future of the NBA...

If Miami wins the title: New Jersey will say to themselves, "Hey, maybe this could happen to us with Vince Carter"; Washington will say the same about Arenas; Boston with Pierce; G-State with Richardson; the Lakers with Kobe; New Team X with Iverson. And so on and so on. But that's just the thing ... we went through this last decade. There was only one MJ; the formula couldn't be replicated. Same with Dwyane Wade; only LeBron can match him. And everyone else will fail trying, which means we can look forward to another decade of perimeter scorers going 11 for 32 in big games, teammates standing around while stars dribble at the top of the key waiting to challenge two defenders at once, and refs deciding every big game (like in Game 5) by how they interpret contact when the same guy is recklessly driving to the basket over and over again.

Bill is certainly correct that many teams in the east will attempt this old school formula. However, there will also be teams like Phoenix, Dallas, San Antonio, Atlanta and New York that will stick with the up-tempo game but most certainly put a greater emphasis on defense. As today's NYPost says...

Figure the Knicks will be up-tempo and creative offensively next season. At least that's what Pacers CE/President Donnie Walsh, the man who first gave Isiah Thomas an NBA head coaching job, forecasts for the team that will have Thomas on the sidelines.

For as inept as Isiah is, there are still plenty of Danny Ainge(s) (Boston) and Kevin McHale(s) (Minnesota) that really have no idea what their doing and will build in the 1990s/Michael Jordan/Pat Riley mode of NBA basketball. Sure the up-tempo stuff is fun, but like Hubie Brown, I'm a much bigger fan of smart statistically advantageous basketball. Let them ride the road to ruin, for we saw the future of the NBA this year and it is 10 deep. It can score over 100 points a game. And it most certainly doesn't rely on 1990s isolation theory.

Friday, June 23, 2006


I'll gouge your right eye out with my thumb, I shit you not, you little freak! Posted by Picasa

From James...

Better luck next time, eh? The Italians did their part, but Ghana was the wildcard that did what we thought they couldn't.

They were unable to take shots, much less score goals. They were outmuscled and outsmarted. And, after a tournament-ending 2-1 loss to Ghana on Thursday that turned on a disputed penalty call, they were reluctant to blame themselves.

They can have their wild card. I know that it makes me feel better to think that Team USA will go home to indoor plumbing and electricity. But at least Team Ghana will have some really cool memories and experiences to cherish before they all die of AIDS, sickle cell, or malaria.

Thursday, June 22, 2006


Who would paint their car purple? That's CrAzY!?! Posted by Picasa

I figured out how to watch the games over the internet so I will be able to enjoy todays World Cup showdown against Ghana. But for those of you trapped away from home at work CNNSI has the 5 keys to beating Ghana.

Personally I think #4 is most crucial as it seems to be a deciding factor every World Cup game I have ever seen...

4. Score early: When Ghana played Italy, they bossed the Azzurri around for much of the first half hour. With each surge forward, Ghana looked like it was getting more and more assured of itself. Then Italy bagged a goal off a corner kick and things went to pot for Ghana. The quicker the U.S. puts Ghana on its heels, the better.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


The nights are hot and black as ink
I can't sleep and I lay and I think
Oh God, I need a drink of cool cool rain. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


From James...

Interesting read about the artists becoming lazy in Florence. It reminds me of a theory Barry Neil had. He suggested that countries that were located in climates where it was sunny and 70 every day were full of lazy people, because why should anyone work very hard in such an environment? If we were too all move down there, most of us would be lazy too. Up here in the frozen northlands, surviving the winter months requires us to work hard, laziness in olden days meant freezing to death or starving in the barren months. Could this explain the laziness in the Mediterranean climate? Maybe they were absorbed by Italy's lazy culture? I'm interested to know how you were able to rise above it. Years ago i tried a road to self improvement based on the philosophy of W. Edward Deming, but that eroded away during my time in the unemployment void. I'd like to read and work out more, despite my hectic work schedule. Any thoughts?

Well in the study of cultural anthropology it is generally accepted that civilization began when man was forced from areas of hunting and gathering subsistence into areas that were slightly more harsh. These new areas required man to utilize agriculture and a more diverse division of labor thus leading to the concepts of law and currency. If one were to take a look at Africa, it wasn't until the Europeans showed up that they had the greed and desire to integrate into the global economy. Now of course, contrary to what the liberals may say, there was disease and war fought over scarce resources. However, thanks to the English, Dutch, Germans and what is known as their protestant work ethic, there was tremendous wealth and advantage to be gained by participating in the white man's economy.

In the case of Florence, I think many people grow lazy there because it is a bit of a fantasy land. If you ignore the industrial suburbs one can easily pretend they are in a Disney theme park based on the year 1505. Unlike Rome, little in Florence has changed with respect to its buildings and basic layout thus it captures forever the glory of its Renaissance past. For the homosexuals they were able to find a vacation spot far from England where they could engage their pedeophile fantasies and eachother. While in the Villa where Tondar lived, many of the students were a bit younger and drawn to the idea of a European fantasyland where it was legal to drink. Being 22 and having explored that enough in 2 previous visits to Spain, I could focus on other things more interesting to myself. Personally, I was drawn to Michelangelo and Leonardo, for like them I was discovering the world of Ancient Rome and the advanced richness of their culture. Also after reading Leavitt's book, it makes me wonder how many homosexuals were living in the Villa with Tondar. I'm sure they experienced the best of both decadent worlds.

Finally, on a personal level, I find work to be my biggest hindrance as well. Lately, I have set ambitious plans for myself that seem to fall apart. Work has certainly been behind much of that. It seems that after Beef Paw left, I have been forced to reorganize our entire approach to one of our clients. This has not been a fast and easy process. In spite of that, I still managed to work out today, watch the NBA Finals, and cook up a batch of Moghul Style Chicken to lunch on for the rest of the week (It's an Indian recipe with egg battered chicken in a yogurt sauce). But I find the best way to ride this road of self improvement is to set small attainable goals. Remember Bill Murray babystepping his way through "What About Bob?" Most improvements in my life work the same way. On a grand scale if I want to become better read, suddenly I find myself surrounded by partially read volumes of Machiavelli, Thucydides, or St. John of the Cross. But if I set a specific goal to conquer St. Augustine's Confessions over the next few weeks while I ride the exercise bike, baby steps gets it done. In other areas, I am focusing on abdominal exercises to lose the NBA playoffs beer gut. In addition, I am trying to raise my spirituality another level in response to recent conversations and events (hence the Augustine reading). But the important thing is not to tackle self improvement with a Sackettesque approach where you go a mile wide and an inch deep. Set goals and priorities and then conquer them like a Roman general. HAIL!

From Pigpen...

"Ghana is on the Southwest coast of Africa, you know the one that turns out into the Atlantic. They came into group play as a very dangerous team and quite highly touted as the "upset" team. It is well known by now that the US kinda got screwed in the group draw b/c as Ghana is the weakest, they are still no cake walk. Pretty much any group but A,E or F would have been better than what is going on now. Especially since the US now has to figure out how to replace Pope and Mastroeni due to the referee debacle against Italy. I found it intersting to hear the US players talking about how Italy was always whining and crying to the refs, but McBride is the one who got his face bloodied and didn't go down to get injury time.

You see the 12-3 stompin the the Tigers delivered at Wrigley on Sunday?

Canes suck"

Well whining and crying is the Italian way. This behavior has characterized their national teams for years in all sports. Just wait for Andrea Bargnani to join the NBA. Just a total guess but he will probably be the biggest vagina since Vagina Carter.

But not only do the Canes suck, so does the entire NHL. They've ran off this fan for years to come.

Got a machinehead better than the rest
Green to the red machinehead
And I walk from my machine
I walk from my machine
Deaf dumb and thirty Posted by Picasa

I don't know where Ghana is, but America owes them a big thank you. By knocking of the Czech Republic Saturday they have made it possible for the Americans to advance from Group E to the second round of the World Cup. Unfortunately they will need some help. First we need help from the dirty cheating Italians. No matter how much it sucks to root for the azzuri, it is a necessary evil that they beat the Czech outright. Secondly, America needs to beat Ghana. Ghana is certainly the weakest of Deathgroup E. But as the Czechs found out 2-0, they are still freakin' dangerous. Right now, the biggest concern is for Tondar to find a cable TV while I "work from home" Thursday so I don't miss any of the action.

If all of that goes down according to plan, we will secure a second round matchup with the top team in Group F; Brazil. :(

One of the attorneys at my office let me borrow David Leavitt's book "Florence, A Delicate Case." It's a chronicle of all the pretentious expatriates that are drawn to that cultural capital on the Arno. Given, some of what I have recently read I would like to share some reactions with the kids as I make my way through the book. This portion comes from page Chapter 2, 96...

"Lord Richard's attempt, in Florence to create 'a room with no walls' finally meets with failure because he has confused artifice with art, fancy with invention. This was a common mistake among the Anglo-Florentines, and one of the chief reasons that so many of them ended up mired in mediocrity. As Edward Prime-Stevenson observed in his underground study The Intersexes, the sexual liberty enjoyed by homosexual emigres in Italy 'seems remarkably often to have had the effect of destroying their intellectual or artistic activity and ambition. They become professional drifters and "dawdlers", degenerate in will, in purpose, and even intersexual virility. They do nothing, accomplish nothing, while constantly talking about doing and accomplishing; and anon having lapsed gently to idleness complete, the capital of talent seems to evaporate away. Their liberty really gained, its relief undoes them."

Now granted, Tondar is not a homosexual. But I found the complete opposite to be true. From my creativity to my virility, Florence did not create a pretentious malaise within Tondar whatsoever. Furthermore, I would say that it sparked a Rimascente of sorts.

While the rest of the kids I knew were bogged down in celebrating a culture in which it was legal for them to drink, Tondar pursued higher callings. I used my days to develop the Tondar work out, before brushing up on my writing with respect to Augustine and Dante and their influence on Renaissance art and thought. I remember many great nights contemplating philosophy, Crazy 8s, and scotch with the great Miss Margot. While I wasn't doing that, I was wandering the gardens, contemplating the universe and all that I had read, and throwing stones at the bats to the sound of Rush's "Natural Science." The beauty of a 10 minute song is that you can put it on repeat and by the time you have had enough of it, 30-40 minutes have passed.

Contrary to the homosexuals and the other students previously mentioned, I have never been one to get bogged down in the affairs of others. I have the Tondar agenda and really don't have time for the petty concerns of others. Perhaps this is what seperated me from the typical expatriate crowd and allowed me to focus on my own selfish creativity and self improvement. Instead of the social horizontal expansions of Tondar we all know in the states, I used the time to reflect and create a more perfect and vertical expansion of myself as a whole.

Sure it took an intifada to rise up, but France beat the Americans to real immigration reform. True the French have a more refined sense of cultural nationalism. However, at least they recognize that they must defend their borders, language, and culture if they are to survive the demographic shifts of the 21st Century. Maybe our Congress can learn from some of these measures included in the French Bill...

According to the French government, the following new rules will be part of the immigration law:

Only the qualified immigrants will be granted "skills and talents" residency permits.

Foreigners are only allowed into France to work, and not live off benefits such as welfare and free healthcare.

Foreign spouses of immigrants allowed to remain in France must wait longer before being granted residence cards.

Migrants must agree to learn French.

Migrants must sign a 'contract' stipulating they must respect the French way of life.

The new law also scraps the old one regarding workers receiving automatic citizenship after living and working 10 years in the country.

This could be bad news for Seth, considering his plan to get knocked up and make welfare babies in Paris. Looks like he will simply have to keep his old job and work out of his Paris apartment via the internet.

I know you wanta da babies. Not this time, guy. Sorry.

Sunday, June 18, 2006


I'll be misunderstood
By the beautiful and good in this city
None of this was planned
Take me by the hand
Just don't try ...and understand Posted by Picasa