Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Friday, July 28, 2006


On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood! What was will be! What is will be no more! Now is the season of T-Bagg!

Thursday, July 27, 2006


It seems that red spectre is still haunting America. Check out this review for "Ant Bully: Rise of the Prolitari-ant" that Pigpen sent me. Conservatives will often catch a lot of eye-rolling when they point to liberal Hollywood's goal of indoctrinating America culturally into accepting socialism and other ideas of the left. While Pat Buchanan chronicles this history in his book "Death of the West," this review points out a not-so-subtle example.

This just looks like something I would pull and then laugh about it hysterically. *sigh* Good Times.

If it's on the internet it must be true...

I don't want you to change anything you do
I don't want you to be someone else for me
Stay as you are the darkest star
Shining for me
Majestically Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


Looks like Maurice Clarett is at it again honoring the great tradition of OSU football...

"Two weeks before his trial on aggravated burglary and weapons charges, former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett does not have an attorney.

In a single-paragraph letter Clarett wrote on July 20, he said he fired attorneys William Settina and Robert Krapenc. They filed a motion Monday saying they do not wish to continue as Clarett's lawyers, saying he has not paid their fees and is not cooperating in his own defense."

If he's a Buckeye it's a very good chance the charges are for aggravated turd burglary.

Hold up!



Bitches lookin' at me strange but you know I dont care.
Step up in this mutha fucker just a swingin' my hair.

From Seth...

"So if you want to see an interesting race this year, look no further than the AL Central.

First the Tigers started hot, with Chris Shelton on pace for about 300 homers after the first week. But then they ran into a losing streak and the White Sox took the central lead.

Said Jim Rome of the Tigers (after two weeks), "They're Dooone."

For awhile, it was the White Sox just over the upstart Tigers. Conventional wisdom was that the defending champions plus Jim Thome equalled unstoppable, and Detroit would cool off once it stopped playing the Royals so darn much. The Twins, on the other hand, a team that dominated the division since it was formed, were getting demolished, accentuated by a series in Detroit in which they were outscored something to the effect of 56 to Minus-4.

Jime Rome said "They're Dooone."

Well, the Tigers picked it up again after a hard-fought West Coast trip and eventually pulled one game ahead of the White Sox. Headed toward the All-Star break, they couldn't be separated. One game was the difference and stayed the difference for most of June, as both teams would win 3, lose one, go on a 6-game winning streak, lose two, win three, etc.

Meanwhile, Minnesota brought up a pitching prospect that everyone expected to be really good, and he turned out better than really good. And all of a sudden the Twins were rollicking, but couldn't get more than a couple of games on the leaders.

Conventional wisdom said the White Sox plus Jim Thome equalled unstoppable, and Detroit would end up as the wild card, and Minnesota would cool off, and the Yankees and Red Sox would end up 9 games behind the top three AL central teams.

Said Rome, "They're doooone."

Then, suddenly Chicago dipped, Detroit kept winning at their 3-for-1 clip, and Minnesota kept winning at their 8-for-1 clip. And today, the Twins tied the Sox, and sit 8.5 games behind Detroit for the AL Central and two games above the Yankees.

Said Rome, "The Yankees need to trade A-Rod." He's doooone.

Message to Rome: learn to read a schedule.

In one of those quirks that occur in the American League so they can schedule Red Sox-Yankees series opposite the NHL and NBA playoffs and the start of the football season, and that good teams seem to bunch up close to one another, everyone in the AL gets a month of playing lots of Devil Rays and Royals and Rangers, and then a month of playing Yankees and Tigers and different shades of sox.

And amazingly enough, winning periods and losing periods for AL teams correspond directly with whom they are playing.

The Tigers started off against Texas and Kansas City, then fell back against Chicago, then picked it up against Seattle and Oakland and Anaheim when Anaheim was really injured. They came home and faced the Twins and Indians back and forth for a bit, and had it going through a series with the Orioles. Then they faced the Red Sox and Yankees and Blue Jays on a tough road trip and Jim Rome said they're Doooone. Of course, Detroit then faced Tampa Bay and Kansas City and Cleveland in successive weeks and took over the Central. Everyone got to beat up on the NL teams, and then Detroit went back to beating up on Kansas City and hosted AL West teams.

Chicago started off against the Yanks and Sox, then marched through Detroit and Cleveland and the AL West. And then they had that big easy streak, a week ahead of the Tigers each time, but relinquished the lead while hosting the Yanks and Sox again. Then everyone beat up on the NL teams, and Chicago looked pretty good at the All-Star break. Well, after a few easy series with the Orioles, they had to go do that road trip. Surprise, surprise, in successive series with the Yankees, Red Sox, Tigers, Indians, and red-hot Twins, the White Sox have fallen backwards in the standings. You play that road trip and let's see how you feel.

The Twins, well, they got every bad series you could imagine to start off the season. A's and Yankees and Red Sox, followed by Tigers and Blue Jays and a really long road trip across the AL West. Then they went back to the East Coast to get hammered again by the Yanks and Red Sox. Jim Rome called them Dooooooooone. Ah, but then came series with the Devil Rays, and Rangers, and Royals, and then at the Devil Rays and Rangers and Orioles and Indians hit by injury, then Royals, and then more injured injuns. And they were kicking patootie. Everyone beat up on the NL guys, and then the Twins cooled for a series with the big dogs, and after the All-Star break got hot against -- you guessed it, Royals and Devil Rays and Mariners and Blue Jays while they were having locker room issues. Then they swept the White Sox in Minnesota. Surprise? Not really. Hot teams can carry hotness sometimes, but the bigger thing to notice is that Minnesota has the biggest home field advantage in the game, and they did a lot of road tripping when they stunk and a lot of home tripping when they didn't.

So really, Mr. Rome, it's not because these teams are giving up or getting hungry or having spats with each other or getting along great with each other, or trying harder to avoid getting replaced by a big trade, or trying to prove they're the rookie of the year. The fact is, the Tigers, White Sox, Yankees and Red Sox are great teams, the Twins are a great team at home and good team on the road, the A's and Blue Jays are good teams, the Indians and Angels are good teams fraught with injuries, the Rangers, Mariners and Orioles are mediocre teams, the Devil Rays and Royals stink on ice, and everybody looks good beating up on NL teams. So depending on which teams you're playing, the great teams are going to vary as to how many games per series they win, give or take.

At 8-1/2 games better than the next best team in baseball, Jim Rome has finally gotten behind the Tigers this week, and will probably stick with them But my boys have a hellish month coming up, starting with a visit to the Twins in which Minnesota changed their rotation so we have to face their best. We then get to visit Tampa Bay. From there, it gets progressively harder, with a trip to Cleveland, hosting the Twins, then visiting the White Sox and Red Sox, a jaunt at home with Texas, then the White Sox come back to town for four games, and we have to finish the month on the road at Cleveland and New York. Mark my words; the Tigers will lose some of those games, the White Sox will close the gap, the Yankees and Red Sox will make the AL East look respectable against the Central again, and come early September Jim Rome will say the Tigers are Doooooooone.

Then we'll finish the season with 21 of 30 games versus the pantheon of stink-on-ice and mediocre teams, and the Tigers will finish first, the Sox will take the Wild Card by a few games over the Yankees, and the Red Sox and A's will win their divisions. Jim Rome will say the Yankees and Twins are big failures who choked when they had the season in hand, and never have a clue as to what happened."

I normally hate fwds, and in fact, I hate the people that send them even more. For some reason though I found this one to be delightful...

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get your drunk ass off the merry-go- round!

Check out this story about a man and his 12 year old daughter that have been living in the woods for 4 years. Probably the most amazing part is that the girl was extremely well educated given the circumstances...

"Even though the child and father lived for such a long time disconnected from society, the girl had been home schooled and was in good physical shape.

In fact, the girl received a very good education from her father while living among the trees. Officials said the girl, who would be normally in 7th grade, is at a 12th grade equivalency.

"When we interviewed this little girl, she was very impressive. She really was very responsible, and she really looked as though she was way advanced in her years," said Portland Police Cmdr. Scott Anderson said."

This would be a great chance to study the effects of isolated education on a subject without resorting to an actual Blue Lagoon scenario where you send her off to a deserted island. Though it is amazing how quickly the child matures and learns when removed from the distraction of regular schools and interaction. Given this rate one could see how girls could marry or boys could assume the throne at 14, given the proper upbringing and education.

From Pigpen - Actually it's more like the Jody Foster movie Nell - where she lived in the woods and spoke her own made up language. Do you think that these people in the article live near Honky Cat?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


If it's on the internet it must be true...

And I thank you
For bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Finally I've found
My Real Friend here Posted by Picasa

During the recent conflict in Lebanon I have been watching two sources of news closely. On the one hand, Foxnews seems to sensationalize their coverage in the Rupert Murdoch tradition. On the other hand, I have also be reading a lot more of the NYTimes. Their coverage has been more informative, but morally bankrupt as they have found a way to blame all of the deaths on the Jews. It's amazing how Hezbollah can hide among civilians and when civilians are hurt, the media blames Israel instead of the jihadis. But anyways, it seems that Pigpen has noticed the same thing especially in this CNN piece

I wonder who the author thinks is to blame - certainly not those who have been spreading misery in the region since the British left 50 yrs ago.

War sucks - it's not nice, but it will ALWAYS be necessary at some point/time/instance until judgment day - Deal with it.

Absolutely, peace is not the absence of conflict, that is submission.

James points out yet another problem with President Bush that is finally starting to gain some traction in the MSM...

"I've been following this one for a while. i'm not happy about Bush's use of signing statements, because i think it violates the constitution. it seems that Arlen thinks I'm spot on.

This should be interesting to watch for the midterm elections."

Just like Star Trek V. Why does god need a starship? And why would a Republican President need signing statements to amend the laws of a Republican Congress? This doesn't add up and it's about time somebody took Bush to task for a REAL scandal.

"The best advice I ever got was from an elephant trainer in the jungle outside Bangalore. I was doing a hike through the jungle as a tourist. I saw these large elephants tethered to a small stake. I asked him, 'How can you keep such a large elephant tied to such a small stake?' He said, 'When the elephants are small, they try to pull out the stake, and they fail. When they grow large, they never try to pull out the stake again.' That parable reminds me that we have to go for what we think we're fully capable of, not limit ourselves by what we've been in the past."

-Vivek Paul

I know I'm ready to pull up my stakes and stab somebody with them. That's how I roll.

Now the party's over
I'm so tired
Then I see you coming
Out of nowhere
Much communication in a motion
Without conversation or a notion
Avalon Posted by Picasa

Sunday, July 23, 2006


Optimus Prime Posted by Picasa

Photodump of my Girlfriend's B-hind Posted by Picasa

photodump Posted by Picasa

It seems that Tondar isn't the only one that has visions about the future of the NBA. Pigpen passed along this Josh Binstock column on how Isiah Thomas will continue to run the Knicks into the ground...

October 1 -- Training camp opens, and the Knicks roster is comprised of five shoot-first guards (Marbury, Francis, Crawford, Richardson, Nate Robinson), two undersized power forwards (Lee, Malik Rose), three fat centers (Curry, Diop, James) two small forwards who redefine the word inconsistency (Tim Thomas, Jalen Rose), and Frye. In other words, it's an Isiah Thomas dream team.

Trying to establish a defensive identity for his team, Isiah employs the old Â?Bad BoysÂ? defense from his days in Detroit, complete with hard fouls, no lay-ups, and crying after every call. One practice in, he scraps the idea after Eddy Curry bursts into tears because he's afraid of hurting someone. Luckily for Isiah, he had watched HBO the night before, and got a brilliant idea from Gordon Bombay and those crazy Mighty Ducks. The Knicks are the first NBA team to utilize the "Flying V" formation on offense.

But seriously, everyone is planning on Thomas' team crapping the bed this season. Sure, I would agree if I had to write my preview today. But the roster is something interesting, and given the recent success of the Phoenix Suns and Jalen Rose's NBA Live Team, there is a chance they might not be as horrible as predicted given the right player friendly coach. Think about it, if Eddy Curry and Jerome James get their act together, they cut Steve Francis, and get everyone to fall in line behind Stephon Marbury, as they wait on the wing for his kickout, this team may possibly win 40-50 games. As I said, I don't see this happening, but like Jalen and EA Sports recognize, the talent is certainly there.

The Dirty Jobs

I am a man who looks after the pigs
Usually I get along OK.
I am man who reveals all he digs,
Should be more careful what I say.

I'm getting put down,
I'm getting pushed round,
I'm being beaten every day.
My life's fading,
But things are changing,
I'm not gonna sit and weep again.

I am man who drives a local bus
I take miners to work, but the pits all closed today.
It's easy to see that you are one of us.
Ain't it funny how we all seem to look the same?

I'm getting put down,
I'm getting pushed round,
I'm being beaten every day.
My life's fading,
Things are changing,
I'm not gonna sit and weep again.

My karma tells me
You've been screwed again.
If you let them do it to you
You've got yourself to blame.
It's you who feels the pain
It's you that feels ashamed.

I am a young man
I ain't done very much,
You men should remember how you used to fight.
Just like a child, I've been seeing only dreams,
I'm all mixed up but I know what's right.

I'm getting put down,
I'm getting pushed round,
I'm being beaten every day.
My life's fading,
But things are changing,
I'm not gonna sit and weep again.

From Frank...

A little work anecdote...

Today I was speaking with someone with the last name of Nealon.

He spelled it out to me as follows, "N, as in NANCY."

I couldn't help but smile. And he sounded like a "Nancy-boy" too - he was from Minnesota.



Yeah, poor Eric. To think that you finally escape to douchebag rat-race of highschool. And you come to college and immediately live off campus with all these cool guys. Your head is full of sophisticated plans of dinner parties, nights listening to Chopin, and great philosophical discussions on the meaning of life. Instead in the first days this asshole calling himself Tondar moves in and takes up residency on the couch. He delivers a sermon about flaying the homeless. He throws up on people. He verbally abuses everyone. He hazes random freshmen. And he hooks up with sophisticated 4th year students that should be well out of his league given his level of douchebaggery. And in spite of all of that he is loved by everybody.

But to tell you the truth, Ole Tondar would have been cool with Eric if he hadn't decided to watch Foxnews at full blast at 8am when Tondar had spent a romantic all-nighter with a lady friend. It certainly makes you wonder that if he had simply gone to class quietly, would Tondar not have been so quick to out him and lay the Nancy label on him. But given his unrealistic talk of dinner parties and freshmen faux sophistication, the bitch had it comin' and it was a pleasure putting him in his place.

It makes sense to combine two things as popular as baseball and Christianity. However, it has never been done by the major leagues until now...

"This week, belief comes out of the dugout when the Braves host the first of three "Faith Day" promotions. After the 1 p.m. game Thursday against the Florida Marlins, star pitcher John Smoltz will talk about his faith and Christian bands will perform for those with a $10 ticket for the event, separate from game admission.

The blend of big-tent evangelism and the national pastime is expected to draw thousands of new eyes. While religious-themed promotions are not new — teams like the New York Mets have promoted Jewish Heritage Night — those were not designed to reach out to people looking for a spiritual purpose in life. Faith Day is the first promotion of "intentional Christian ministry" in Major League Baseball, and it's a signal that what has succeeded in minor league parks for the last three years is now ready for a call-up to The Show.

"We're in the business of selling tickets, and religious groups, particularly church groups, happen to be an existing part of our business and this is a way of expanding our appeal," said Derek Schiller, the Braves' vice president for sales and marketing."

I appreciate that the kids are taking the Word to the street. But as a Catholic, I still can't get into the whole mass evangilization aspects the way the protestants like to roll with their Mega-Churches and retail politicking. It just seems to me that they are only telling part of the Truth, just to get a few extra butts in the seats.