Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, September 09, 2006


A Tondar's livin' alone exclamation: *P-HAAAW* That's Mountain Dew, a cheap, terrible Mountain Dew!

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While I was in the internetless void, Forbes ran a piece on careers and marriage...

"recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat and less likely to have children. And if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it.

First, what I found so amusing was the female monkey fight that erupted when the article was first published. Thus the current edition has a "rebuttal" with zero science but plenty of emotion and anecdotal evidence. I will simply ignore this since anecdotes and emotion have no place in science (not even social science).

So thus, once again we are left with the fact that career women tend to have worse and less successful marriages. Personally I would blame this on the fact that women have much harder times grasping the concept of opportunity cost. This is the economic term for what is given up when one makes a decision to allocate a scarce resource in another direction. For example, if a career woman allocates her time to excel spreadsheets, TPS reports, staff meetings, commuting, grooming, sleeping, she suddenly has less time for her man and family. Nobody is disputing the fact that a woman isn't allowed to do these things. However, unless the modern woman has a magical ability to control space/time it is impossible for her to do all of these things, and if she does, they will be done much less successfully.

Now Frank sent along a scientifically driven rebuttal from Salon. This piece attacks the conclusions and offers alternative explanations for the scientific facts. For example...

Before my female readers break their nails pounding out angry e-mails to me, they should consider the piece's fundamental weakness. Forbes' definition of a career woman is extraordinarily broad, including any woman who has a college education, works 35 hours a week, and makes more than $30,000. So, if you define non-career women as all the "undereducated" who work part-time and make less than $30K, it becomes painfully obvious why female careerists are more likely to divorce than non-careerists: They can better afford to get out of an unhappy marriage than their sisters.

I would offer another less provable explanation for this fact: the inherent selfishness of both men and women. If one considers that any relationship whether friendship or marriage is basically a quid pro quo exchange between two individuals, it is easy to understand how a marriage might fail if the rolls suddenly become undefined. As Michael Noer writes in the Forbes piece...

"Traditionally, men have tended to do "market" or paid work outside the home, and women have tended to do "nonmarket" or household work, including raising children. All of the work must get done by somebody, and this pairing, regardless of who is in the home and who is outside the home, accomplishes that goal. Nobel laureate Gary S. Becker argued that when the labor specialization in a marriage decreases--if, for example, both spouses have careers--the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needed work is getting done, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely. And, indeed, empirical studies have concluded just that."

Obviously, an unsuccessful marriage like any unsuccessful relationship is an unsatisfactory exchange of personal utility. If a woman neglects her man and allows their relationship to crumble while she focuses her time on her own selfish pursuits such as spreadsheets, television, or a never satisfied desire for TPS report perfection, then she has nobody to blame but herself. On the other hand, if a man is not the primary earner and still expects the woman to do all the domestic "woman's work," then he has an unrealistic view of the quid pro quo exchange of what is needed to make a successful marriage.

In conclusion, though men should be worried about career women, they should be more concerned about securing an adequate quid pro quo where the roles in a marriage can be clearly defined and achieved through mutual effort. If one party has unrealistic expectations of this or an unrealistic understanding of time, then they are most certainly doomed not to be together.

Friday, September 08, 2006


James passed some clips of his favorite new infomercial: "Dual Action Cleanse." You just have to see this to believe how inadequate Klee Irwin is compared to his daughter. And as Klee points out to caller Gary, it seems that this is not just Mr. Irwin's problem alone.

Oh the crap you find on the internet!

Olivia on Tondar's photodumping...

Also, start photo dumping hotter photos of me. seeing as how if it's on the internet it must be true...people will really think i am "uggs." Posted by Picasa

Guess what Tondar is doing tonight?

First, I'm going to get the robots to fight the tigers. Then I'm going to bring the winners back to my apartment complex to fight the dogs, cats, and babies that tear around here at 50 mph in their Ford Mustangs.

But on a serious note, I wonder if this is the kind of night that calls for a visit from ole flasky-flask. If you'll remember the last outting we had was when Karie got married. That night I referred to our position in the seating arrangement as the "douchebag" table. I insulted the Eatbeast Monica to her face. And then I ended up calling it an early night facedown on Kelly's couch. The important thing is that I am a champ and did not puke. But I did offer to drive at every opportunity, just to giggle at the squares when they lectured me about drinkin' and drivin' (which is legal in Tennessee).

Thursday, September 07, 2006


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From Seth...

"With NFL rosters finalized for the 2006 season, Michigan is now 2nd on the list of schools to have the most alums on the active roster with 37 (passing Tennessee's 35). The leader is still Miami (Fla.) with 42 (21 of whom played on the national championship team -- gosh!)

Also noteable, Michigan is the only school with 10 or more representatives in the NFL whose alumni have never been fined or missed game time for disciplinary actions.

Quantity and quality. Once again, it goes to show you can never have too many guys from Michigan on your team."

So I guess Maurice Clarett wouldn't be on that list, eh?

From the Freep...

"A Lions assistant coach was arrested twice in the last two weeks, charged with driving drunk in one incident and with indecent and obscene conduct in the other, the Free Press has learned.

In the latter incident, a Dearborn police ticket describes the coach as "driving on public street without any clothes on. (NUDE)."

Of course it was only the defensive line coach, Joe Cullen. Obviously not the same one with whom I went to high school. What is most curious is what happened to the time Cullen spent at Ole Miss? The Freep was able to investigate, yet the always incompetent Matt Millen missed that blemish of public drunkenness.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


Helpless Dancer

When a man is running from his boss
Who hold a gun that fires "cost"
And people die from being cold
Or left alone because they're old
And bombs are dropped on fighting cats
And children's dreams are run with rats
If you complain you disappear
Just like the lesbians and queers

No one can love without the grace
Of some unseen and distant face
And you get beaten up by blacks
Who though they worked still got the sack
And when your soul tells you to hide
Your very right to die denied
And in the battle on the streets
You fight computers and receipts
And when a man is trying to change
But only causes further pain
You realize that all along
Something in us going wrong

You stop dancing.

From Seth...

Overall, I was very pleased with our defense in this game. Henne, I thought, could have shone brighter but it wasn't him or the receivers I blame for the offensive problems. Mostly, it was the offensive line. Vandy's interior linemen were manhandling the right side of Henne, and that meant a lot of throws had to be rushed to the in-route men. Yes, the in-route receivers dropped it as often as not, but most of those drops came on 3rd down when they weren't in range of 1st down. No big whup.

That offensive line needs to be shored up fast. Alex Mitchell (RG) and Mark Bihl (C) played terrible games, and I think Reuben Riley got stuck coming off his guy to plug up leaks way too often. Jake Long and Adam Kraus on the left were solid.

Remember this offense? The offensive coordinator is Mike DeBord, he of the late-'90s offenses. His strategy is run to set up the pass, which is why you saw Hart and Grady taking on more of an A-Train/Clarence Williams role than a Chris Perry/B.J. Askew one. The difference is subtle, but it relies a lot less on sticky-hands receivers, which after this weekend seems smart. Perhaps it's personnel rather than DeBord -- if I had Avant and Braylon for three seasons, I'd go with a pass-happy offense that got them tough-to-catch speedballs too. This one, rather, takes away a slot receiver deep in favor of making sure Henne always has someone to throw to. It's an unstoppable offense so long as we don't screw it up, but college players do screw up.

I think the offense can get better.

But even if they don't, this defense can carry the team. I watched the Penn State game right after ours and saw some of the best linebacker play you'll see from any team this season in Posluzsny and Connor. But I thought Dave Harris played just as well as either of them, and Lamarr Woodley is playing like a top 10 draft pick. Leon Hall was unbeatable on the island, and Morgan Trent looked comfortable in run or pass (though I expect we'll see him mostly against running teams and Charles Stewart against teams with faster receivers). The front was just AWESOME! This Terrance Talor kid was a beast, and Alan Branch was double-teamed the whole game. With those three guys we got a better rush than most teams I've seen with four. That meant we can blitz just one or two linebackers and still have six or seven guys in coverage. Lookout Notre Dame -- this team can stop anyone cold.

I also love how we played an SEC team to start off. This could be a great idea for future scheduling, since the record of opponents' opponents is part of the BCS equation. Why beat up on a middling MAC team when we can plunge the basement of the other top-tier conference and spend the rest of the season accumulating schedule toughness credit from Tennessee and Auburn and Alabama and Florida. Even if it weren't for that infernal BCS, I like the idea of going against SEC teams -- it establishes a base of reference for all those bowl games we have to play on their turf, and we get a week to become acquainted with top scholastic institutions like Vanderbilt.

OSU fans are complaining leading up to Texas this week that they scheduled a super-tough team in the pre-Big Ten season, while our preseason game against another top-conference team was lowly Vandy. Hello!!!! Notre Dame you retards! I do believe the Irish are ranked higher than the Longhorns.

And while we're on the topic of scheduling, I'm with Carr on the "Let's lose the 12th game" thing. Sure, I like more football Saturdays. But these are students, and more games means it's one week tougher to get through their studies. While conferences that don't seem to care about education so much as TV dollars have added late November and December games, in addition to conference championships, the Big Ten just had its teams give up a bye week in the middle of the Big Ten season to face some also-ran. That means Ohio State has to prepare for Bowling Green between Iowa and Michigan State. The Gophers host North Dakota State between trips to Wisconsin and Ohio State. Michigan has Ball State sandwiched between Northwestern and Indiana. Only MSU put their pre-season BEFORE the season, and that's just because Notre Dame will play them while Big Ten teams are already playing each other. Purdue's really weird: they have 13 games scheduled, with Notre Dame coming after Minnesota, and Hawaii tacked on the season's end.

My feeling is, if we're all scheduling a 12th team -- from the Midwest -- in the middle of the Big Ten season, why not make it a Big Ten game?!? How many times have we had co-conference champions, often who didn't even play each other? I know the BCS rewards you for scheduling more Ball States than Penn States, but the BCS can go F itself -- an extra Big Ten game across the board could generate big revenue. Heck, I'd be for going to 10 Big Ten games each season -- the reason we didn't do that in the first place was because teams who regularly played Notre Dame (Mich, MSU, Indiana, Purdue, Penn State) wanted some room on the schedule to do so when we played just 10 or 11 all season.

Still, 9 Big Ten games in a 12-game schedule is not unreasonable. It's more unreasonable to declare a conference champion who doesn't play everyone in their conference. Michigan and Ohio State could go to BCS games without ever facing Purdue's galloping offense. The Buckeyes never have to test themselves against Wisconsin. Penn State never has to see Drew Tate and Iowa. Iowa doesn't have to see Michigan State's Drew Stanton, either. To be the conference champions, you should see as much of the conference as is possible. I'd advocate 10 games, but surely it's now time for nine?

It makes sense. In SEC country, trashing the Big Ten for not having a championship game is their third favorite sport. Of course the only downside would be the difficulty involved in trying to win a national championship. You take away that 12th game against the MAC and replace it with a real matchup with another Big 10 opponent, and it makes it that much more difficult to win every game in a season. Plus, if you compare that to what may go on in with the PAC 10, Big East or Notre Dame that doesn't have to play an extra game, it creates a large disadvantage at least from a probability perspective.

Back to work bitches! The Blogger's workin' again. Posted by Picasa

Being a Political Science major at the University of Michigan we were actually forced to read the works of political scientists. For ole Tondar one of the most influential was the work of R. J. Rummel. Dr. Rummel's area of study used hard science and facts to examine the balance between freedom and tyranny and used body counts to make the case for a free society. Well now in retrospect, Rummel is changing the case against Chinese leader, Mao Tse Tung to make him the worst murderer of all time...

Now, I have to change all the world democide totals that populate my websites, blogs, and publications. The total for the communist democide before and after Mao took over the mainland is thus 3,446,000 + 35,226,000 + 38,000,000 = 76,692,000, or to round off, 77,000,000 murdered.

This exceeds the 61,911,000 murdered by the Soviet Union 1917-1987, with Hitler far behind at 20,946,000 wiped out 1933-1945.

For perspective on Mao's most bloody rule, all wars 1900-1987 cost in combat dead 34,021,000 -- including WWI and II, Vietnam, Korea, and the Mexican and Russian Revolutions. Mao alone murdered over twice as many as were killed in combat in all these wars.

Historically, Rummel has been one of the greatest advocates of just-war doctrine and his statistical analysis makes a strong case. Furthermore, he uses this position to promote the cause of liberty from all government power. For where there is power, it will corrupt. And in the 20th Century, technology has made it quite easy to eliminate the enemies of the current power structure.

You didn't think I would forget about this annual celebration did you? This year the festival will run from October 5-9 in Grand Rapids, MI. Here is a tentative schedule of events...

October 5 - TACO ARMAGEDDON - "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate."

So let it be blogged. So let it be done. We will proclaim a new world champion that Thursday night at Trini's. Bring your appetite and be prepared to pray for the sweet release of death. This year's theme will be Mutually Assured Destruction and we're going to take it to the limit like Randy Meisner in a calculus class.

October 6 - TBA (NO WHEAT BEER)

October 7 - I will not be attending the Michigan State game thanks to Mark's wedding. However, I plan on getting together after the marital festivities calm down so be prepared to celebrate Tondar in the bars of Grand Rapids. It will be like San Fermin without the bulls but with smart mouths and big breasts.

October 8 - TBA (NO WHEAT BEER)

Octobeer 9 - Tres will be picking me up at the airport in Nashville at 8pm CST.

This is just the current schedule so please contact me via Phondar or the e-mail address above so that we that we can put your event on the Tondarfest 2006 Schedule.

When you read that headline you would think it would possibly be one of the most out of control evenly matched showdowns of all time. However the truth is...

"Forty players, ranging in age from 18 to 44, rotated in and out of the 84-inning game in hopes of setting a new Guinness World Record for the longest baseball game.

The record stands at 25 hours, set in Canada nearly three years ago.

Alliance organizers tried for a record last year, but their 24-hour, 16-minute game fell short of the record by 44 minutes."

What kind of lame approach is that!? Here I am picturing an extra inning marathon similar to that Braves and Astros thriller from last October. It turns out however, that it is just a bunch of cranked up fools that wanted to get their names in the Guiness Beer Book. As the Spanish would say, "Que lastima!"

Pardon our mess, we are in transition these days.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


From Seth...

"For awhile, it seemed like the college football guys had their act together. They were watching every team closely and looking for factors to predict who would be good in the upcoming season. The factors weren't that hard:

1. Overall Talent
2. Seniors
3. Heisman candidates
4. Defensive Unit
5. Offensive Line
6. Schedule

They also left open a lot of space for teams to lose. That is, if you went 11-1 and lost to Iowa, that was still a good season.

Maybe it was USC. Or Oklahoma before them. Or Miami before them. Or Florida State before them. Or Nebraska before them. But it became so easy to predict the superpowers for any 3-year span that I guess they got lazy, bringing the factors down to two, the first of which is hardly a predictor at all.

1. Last year's bowl game result.
2. Heisman candidates

And thus we get Ohio State as the preseason Number 1. The same Ohio State University, by the way, who lost their entire defense and most of their offense to graduation. The same OSU who just bailed their starting quarterback out of jail. The same OSU facing a litany of NCAA violations that could suspend who knows how many players sometime this season.

Their excuse? Their quarterback is a poor man's Vince Young, their kick returner has speed, and the brand-new offensive line and defensive players were all 4- or 5-star recruits.

Like Mike D'Andrea, a senior middle linebacker who recruiters listed as the second-best prospect in the country coming out of high school (first was Florida QB Chris Leak -- Reggie Bush was 3rd). D'Andrea is expected to anchor the new defense after failing to crack the lineup his first three seasons. The fact is, though, D'Andrea might not even start. He's in the mix, still, but other young linebackers might push him out.

The analysts have convinced themselves that this means Ohio State's other linebackers are just as good. Maybe. But more likely, in this case, it's that D'Andrea isn't.

Talent is still king in college football (which is why the top 10 recruiting classes usually finish in the top 25). But it's not the ONLY thing. And worse, judging a team based on the fact that their predecessors beat Notre Dame in January. An injury-depleted Michigan team lost to them earlier in the season in a close one, and were lambasted for it. The reason: when Notre Dame beat Michigan, they were ranked 20, when they lost to Ohio State, they were in the Top 10.

Hype is not a good predictor of success in college football. Yet that seems to be the only thing on the talking heads' minds these days. Texas lost Vince Young. But that's okay, they beat USC. Cal doesn't even know which quarterback they're starting. Fine, make 'em 9th. Notre Dame's the only sensical pick in top of the heap, but I can't imagine Charlie Weiss' offense will surprise so many people without its best receivers.

Ohio State will lose at least three games this year, if not five, and one of those will be to Michigan in Columbus. And when that happens, I'm going to laugh at anyone who bought into the hype at the same time I laugh at the idiot Buckeye fans."

I'm not buying the hype, but will you laugh at me for declaring that Scary Face will find some way of blowing yet another OSU game?

Seth sent me this NYTimes round-up of the great museums of Paris...

"On the other hand, we didn't have lines for the Louvre or Orsay, either. They forgot to mention the trick of going on a rainy day in January, and how nicely a 6 can become an 8."

Ahhh yes, nothing like stretching a 3 day pass into 5 gummy bear filled days of art, culture, and malnutrition. But that's how I roll.

The move is complete and I now have the internet hooked up in my new apartment in Hendersonville, just outside of Nashville. Of course there are plenty of things left to unpack and do. But of course the first thing is to get used to my new home. I think Tres had the best greeting for me when he declared in front of my parents that "Hendersonville is where Johnny Cash got addicted to pills." So I have that going for me.

Look for blogging to pick up in the coming days as the malaise of unemployment sets in.