Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, November 18, 2006


From the Guardian...

"To save the day, NASA now plans to go where only Bruce Willis has gone before. The US space agency is drawing up plans to land an astronaut on an asteroid hurtling through space at more than 30,000 mph. It wants to know whether humans could master techniques needed to deflect such a doomsday object when it is eventually identified. The proposals are at an early stage, and a spacecraft needed just to send an astronaut that far into space exists only on the drawing board, but they are deadly serious. A smallish asteroid called Apophis has already been identified as a possible threat to Earth in 2036."

I would consider this a very worthy government endeavor. After all, there is no greater social injustice than human extinction. Let's just hope they don't repeat their previous mistake of 1998. The last thing this mission needs is Steve Buschemi falling victim once again to Space Madness.

Hopefully the game won't make Frank wanna puke. Posted by Picasa

As CNNSI's Cory McCartney points out...

"Tressel has become the Michigan coach's personal Rubik's Cube, winning four of his five games against the Wolverines, including the last two -- and that first one, 310 days after he succeeded John Cooper."

Seth has an explanation and some thoughts on this...

"On the Smith/Tressel thing, you've got to look at the games themselves before slapping everything on Carr.

2001 -- The Wolverines played flat for this one, and had the game under control until Navarre put up a few bad passes. Well, Navarre was a sophomore, and not yet that great. What's more important to remember about that team was they weren't all that good, and had over-achieved all season. We were sophomores across the board, whereas OSU was mostly juniors, with pretty much the same team that went on to win the national championship. Carr lost Henson and Terrell, plus A-Train and his entire offensive line, and our entire offense, especially once sophomore Chris Perry was hurt, was entirely passing to Marquise Walker. This one stung, but in retrospect, not as much.

-- Ohio State won the national championship, but Michigan went down to Columbus and gave one of the best performances of the year. The Buckeyes got some calls, and had some big plays from Clarrett, but only one other team all season took it to them like that, and we weren't anywhere near as talented as Miami.

2003 -- Can't complain. Navarre, Perry, Edwards, Marlin Jackson, the Daves on the offensive line... They manhandled the No. 2 ranked Buckeyes in Ann Arbor.

2004 -- This game hurt. We were a good team, but Hart was out with injury and they broke out Troy Smith after starting Justin Zwick all year. The Buckeyes made big plays over the top and won it straight out. Michigan still backed into the Rose Bowl.

2005 -- We were 7-5, unranked at season's end, the Buckeyes 11-1 and No. 2 in the country after the Fiesta Bowl victory over Notre Dame. This was the injury train season, and because of that, Carr couldn't rotate his guys like he's used to. We had four safeties injured, but the replacements' replacements played 'em tough and gave us a lead in the 4th quarter. Then Smith made some huge throws, and the defense was just too tired to stop the comeback. Throwaway season.

I can't deny Tressel has reinvigorated that program, if the John Cooper squad needed reinvigorating. But I'm not yet sure whether he's a Woody Hayes or a Lou Holtz. He'll build the program, but eventually, one of these kids they pay is going to get too caught for the program to get away with a 2-game suspension, and there's going to be some sort of repurcussions. He brought the Buckeye nation to its zenith of power, doing it the Buckeye way. But the scandals, and the type of player he recruits, and the kinds of things those guys get up to are spending a lot of Ohio State's capital within the NCAA. Or maybe they won't -- the system's probably as corrupt as some of its teams.

Carr builds his team the way Bo and Woody and JoePa and Bear Bryant (and Barry Alvarez, and Kirk Firentz I should add): he recruits his type of guys -- 3 and 4 stars who fit his mold -- and keeps the program in contention every year. You won't see Michigan go 12-0 two seasons in a row and pick up the hype of Nebraska 95-97, Florida State 98-99, Oklahoma 99-00, Miami 01-02, or USC 03-05. But we'll consistently go 9-3, 8-4, 10-2 or 11-1 most years, with the odd 7-5 or 12-0 mixed in.

Tressel's tenure, however, shows some signs of this. That class he graduated last year that popped up all over the 1st round of NFL draft were his guys, the first class that wasn't Cooper. He went and found A.J. Hawk and Bobby Carpenter et al., although at the time they were outshadowed by superstud linebacker Mike D'Andrea (who was injured his whole career). Some of those guys (but certainly not all or even most) are quality individuals who play a team-first game.

But I keep waiting for a fall. Tressel barely had to do anything about Troy Smith getting his cell phone bill paid by boosters, and the school got off entirely free after the whole Maurice Clarrett thing, which implicated the school as much if not more than the player. Can you picture Tressel cleaning up the program afterwards?

Troy Smith is a little over-hyped. He can run, he's got a gun for an arm, and he's won big games, which make him a great quarterback. But he's also worked with too many short fields. When you have him backed up, he doesn't light up the scoreboard so much. He needs his running game to wear down defenses, and that's not going to happen tomorrow.

Tressel's got more cred than Smith in his profession. He thrives on OSU traditions that Cooper never understood, and makes use of his rabid fan base to cover up the indescrepencies that brought guys like Smith and Jamario O'Neal and Chris Wells and Maurice Clarrett to Ohio State."

"Someone New" by Eskobar featuring Heather Nova

So is it goodbye?
Is it time to set you free?
Is it time to let it fly?
Is it time to let it bleed?

We used to take turns
To cover up the pain
Deep below it burns
And the fellin' still remains

You're gonna find someone new
I really hope you do
'Cause I love you
And the sun will come on thru,
It's gonna shine for you
'Cause I adore you

Yes we gave it a try
But maybe for too long
Out of every sorrow
Another day will dawn

You're gonna find someone new
I really hope you do
'Cause I love you
And the sun will come on thru,
It's gonna shine for you
'Cause I adore you

And the road travels on
But I'm still near you
In my life, like a song
I will still hear you


Friday, November 17, 2006


This may come as a shock about all those heartless conservatives...

"When it comes to helping the needy, Brooks writes: "For too long, liberals have been claiming they are the most virtuous members of American society. Although they usually give less to charity, they have nevertheless lambasted conservatives for their callousness in the face of social injustice."


The book's basic findings are that conservatives who practice religion, live in traditional nuclear families and reject the notion that the government should engage in income redistribution are the most generous Americans, by any measure.

Conversely, secular liberals who believe fervently in government entitlement programs give far less to charity. They want everyone's tax dollars to support charitable causes and are reluctant to write checks to those causes, even when governments don't provide them with enough money.

Such an attitude, he writes, not only shortchanges the nonprofits but also diminishes the positive fallout of giving, including personal health, wealth and happiness for the donor and overall economic growth. All of this, he said, he backs up with statistical analysis.

I guess the old saying is true: liberals are more generous with other peoples money. After all, there is no social injustice that we cannot simply tax and spend to utopian perfection.

"Steve And The Dummy" (starring Rusty the Puppet)...

"You should say 'No, you're married to my friend."

"I'm not going to sleep with any more of your friends when times get tough."

"My husband has puppets and I'm just not into that stuff."

"He doesn't spend time with me and he's always spending time with the puppets."

"So he's got 6 puppets and he's got his hand up them all the time?"

"Rusty's down!"

"Can we get some medical attention for Rusty?"

"He screwed family over so family screwed him back."

"I ain't got no problem with Rusty. That puppet didn't do nothing to me."

"I have to sit in the back while Rusty rides shotgun."

"The choice is Rusty or your wife."
"It's gonna have to be Rusty."

"You deserve a slut and that's what you have."

"Punk, I'd loosen up on your ass on the way to a fight."

2003 seems so long ago...

Check it out as CNNSI counts down the top 10 Michigan vs. Ohio State games since 1950. And for those of you keeping score at home Michigan goes 5-4-1 in the survey.

From Seth...

"When building up for a showdown, media personalities search for every possible avenue of hype. The thing is, Michigan-Ohio State never needed it. The best quote from the rivalry is still that of Bo Schembechler: "Let's go play it." Every year, the game decides the Big Ten championship. Every year, it's a good game to watch. Every year, the game graduates seniors who came to these schools just for this game.

That the teams are undefeated and No. 1 and 2 makes it seem like this one deserves more hype, but still, nothing sticks. Nobody will live or die based on the outcome, and nobody promised Toledo to the winner. In fact, who wins the National Championship might not even be decided tomorrow, as both teams might have enough BCS cred to finish 1 and 2 again. In the end, it's a great football game, a great distraction, a great Saturday afternoon.

I say who the hell cares about those silly post-season scrimmages between conferences. Bowl games are fun to watch, but really, the idea of crowning a national champion at the end of the season is just a load of crap created by network executives looking to cash in on college athletics. You can crown one in basketball through a massive playoff, or with hockey because so few schools actually have programs. But with 115 teams in the running when you can only play -- at most -- 14 games a year, the idea of creating a national champ is ridiculous. The game is regional. Conference play is what the season is about.

The real greatness of college football is this game: two similar teams filled with great players -- mostly from that region. Nobody was drafted or uprooted: every one of these guys chose to be there. And having come this far without a blemish, the two best teams in the Big Ten slug it out to win the conference. The BCS may give you as many controversies as conclusions, but for over a century, Michigan/Ohio State has delivered exactly what it promised every time but once (that 10-10 tie). This is the end of the college football season. This is the Game. Let's go play it."

As a society becomes more totalitarian, it will take over more aspects of everyday life. Currently, the government controls a great deal of people's health care thanks to Social Security and Medicare. Thus it makes sense health care is no longer the decision of the individual as some larger cities have taken it upon themselves to regulate behavior that affects health adversely. The best examples are smoking and saturated fat bans in places like New York and Chicago.

As a non-smoker Tondar loved the smoking ban in New York City. I could go to the bar and enjoy a night-out without smelling of or tasting of an ashtray for the next day. As a libertarian, I can't fully agree with this move. However, the selfish prick inside had little objection.

On the other hand, tonight I went out for trivia and Tres and I were literally driven from the 3 Crow Bar and a great theological discussion because we were about to burst into tears at any moment thanks to the smoke. Now obviously, I don't expect, nor demand Nashville adopt these grand draconian measures that have come so easily to the typical urban democrat. On the other hand, I hope that certain bars will recognize the benefits of a smoke free environment and play to that niche market. After all, it is better to have the free market make such decisions than the Giuliani/Bloomberg overlords that seek to rule like kings.

It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will only be dressing 20 players for the Michigan game ...the rest of the players will have to dress themselves

*sigh* So many social engagements, so little time. Posted by Picasa

Well the stage was set the sun was sinkin' low down
As they came to town to face another showdown
The lawmen cleared the people from the streets
All you blood-thirsty bystanders, will you try to find your seats?
Watch 'em Duelin', Doolin-Dalton, high or low, it's all the same

I will certainly be listening to the Eagles Album, "Desperado" this Saturday. Given the state of college football punditry right now, Michigan only stands an outlaws chance of stealing a victory in Columbus. However, the Northwestern and Ball State games were a bit misleading due to weather and very liberal substitutions by Lloyd Carr. The truth is closer to the Indiana game, and this Wolverine team is a well oiled machine firing on all cylanders.

I honestly think Michigan can and will win thanks to their defense. Their front seven is the most amazing line I have seen in all my years of watching college football. Like a blow-out game of Super Tecmo Bowl, I can't wait to see what damage they do every time they are in the game. During the season I have compared them to a bunch of 500 pound grizzly bears. They are faster and more powerful than anything they encounter. They can due a pantload of damage with a swing of their beef-paws, while collectively, they allow only 29.9 yards a game rushing. That is nearly a 50 year low (and very much like a Super Tecmo Bowl stat).

In the end, I agree with Seth - Michigan must play conservative. However, this simply means that they must play their own style of Michigan Football. They cannot get fancy like Iowa or Michigan State did and expect to win. They have to do what Lloyd Carr does best, and come out and establish the Michigan run to set up the passing game.

On the other hand it should be noted that at this moment Ohio State is a 7 point favorite. Given this line I fear what Carr might do. Lloyd Carr is notorious for playing "not to lose." If he takes this approach we could very easily be in trouble. This approach is far too common and has lead to Tondar riding shotgun on the "Fire Lloyd Car Bandwagon." Given this, gamblers should mark Tondar's word that Michigan will most certainly cover the spread. However, I fear Carr's game management skills in a close game and I could very well see us losing this one by less than a touchdown. That is the same way we lost to Texas, Notre Dame, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Ohio State, and Nebraska.

In the end if Michigan wins, I feel they will not rely on Carr's game management ability. Look for the defense to dominate and the Wolverine defensive front to take care of their business outlaw style: 34-21.

"We're gonna hit the road for one last time
We can walk right in and steal 'em blind
All that money
No more runnin'
I can't wait to see the old man's face
When I win the race"

From Seth...

The Tigers had said re-signing Walker was a top priority. Walker, 35, said he wanted to finish his career here. Instead, Baltimore offrered him huge cash and he bolted.

This always happens to Detroit. Whenever we discover a Martin Lapointe, a Ben Wallace, or a Jamie Walker -- guys who are good at the less ballyhooed aspects of the game, worthless on another team, but essential to ours -- some other team turns him from a bargain role player into an overpaid bust. He won't put up those same numbers for the O's, who are the Detroit Lions of baseball. And the Tigers lose a solid middle-innings lefty specialist worth probably $1.5 million/year to a 3-year, $12 million contract.

The only difference I see is that in baseball you are allowed to throw the dumptruck of money at players like this. I agree with Joe Dumars in letting Ben Wallace walk, but why not play the Orioles game? Is money that much of an issue in baseball since there is no salary cap?

Thursday, November 16, 2006

"She pinches you?"

"I'm here to tell her I've been having sex with a man."

"I love him because I know he loves me."

"Icant let him smoke a cigarette because he might leave me."

"Do you sit on him?"

"And I do pinch him because he pisses me off"


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Wednesday, November 15, 2006


"She attacked you before the show?!"

"Well you need to learn to respect your elders."

"The only thing we have in common together is that we were both born male."

"You talk about being with lonely, but that doesn't mean you go and get with animals."

"I'm here to confront this ignant, racist, oompa-loompa-ass bitch."

"Stand over there Jerry, cuz it gonna get ugly."

"See ya! Have a nice life trashy bitch!"

"I bet you gonna have a lotta nice things to say about black people after Oprah whooped your ass."

OJ Simpson is back in the news, though I can't quite get my head around it.

"the two-part television interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29 on Fox, the TV network said Tuesday.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

Now, what I'm confused about, is this a pretend re-enactment of how he would have gone about murdering those Ron and Nicole in the abstract? Or is this really a confession, but for legal purposes he is saying adding the "If I Did It" qualifier? I don't plan on watching it, but I will be curious to see what kind of scheme Fox has up their sleeve for this one.

Hat-tip to James for the link.

From the AP...

"A couple's ill-concealed sexual play aboard a Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles got them charged with violating the Patriot Act, intended for terrorist acts, and could land them in jail for 20 years.

According to their indictment, Carl Persing and Dawn Sewell were allegedly snuggling and kissing inappropriately, "making other passengers uncomfortable," when a flight attendant asked them to stop."

We should have seen this one coming. The Patriot Act was set up to target terrorists. But like the income tax, the government is now slippery sloping to use its new found power against everyday citizens. Sure, it's not appropriate for people to be bad-touching at 30,000 feet. But that certainly does not make them terrorists deserving 20 years in prison.

If this is the consequences of 9/11, I say repeal the Patriot Act, remove the FAA regulations and I will take my chances against the Jihad. The odds of escaping them are far better than escaping the wrath of the imperial federal government.

From Seth...

I kept wanting Ohio State to be overrated, but teams kept playing them like they were better than they were. Iowa really disappointed me: Kirk Firentz had his team throwing long early and often. So did John L. Smith's MSU team. Those were the teams who best matched up against OSU and they squandered it by acting like only miracle throws would allow them to keep up.

What Ohio State has lots of is talent. You're not going to beat them deep, because a guy caught out of position can get back there. You can't let them play in front of you, because Ted Ginn will slip two tackles and that'll be your story.

You've got to play them straight up. Illinois did that. It wasn't a hiccup game for OSU like Ball State was for us. Ron Zook took his Illini in there saying "these guys are no better than you. Get after them."

Well, you know Lloyd Carr rolls like that.

The biggest matchup in this game will be Ohio State's offense versus Michigan's defense. I'd add superfluous adjectives, but that would be agains the nature of this rivalry, so let's just say Ohio State has the best offense in the country, and Michigan has the best defense in the country.

OSU Offensive Line v. U-M Defensive Line:

OSU has a talented offensive line, and a young one. The matchups here pit stength against strength. As usual, they have a shut-down center, Doug Datish. Can he handle Alan Branch? Well, no, not really. Branch is better, best. Tim Schafer is an NFL-ready tackle, but again, he's outshadowed by Lamarr Woodley. T.J. Downing is a powerful guard, but I like our young phenom Terrance Taylor better. On the strong side, the Buckeyes switch off Kirk Barton and Jon Skinner. Either is a wash with Rondell Biggs. Advantage: MICHIGAN

OSU Backfield v. U-M Linebackers:
The Buckeyes boast the best backfield in the country, hands down. First, I think Antonio Pittman and Chris Wells are both good running backs, but they're neither of them something that could really hurt the Wolverines, who would be more suceptible to a Darius Walker-style back (nice going, Notre Dame offensive coordinator). I think Prescott Burgess and Shawn Crable can match them speed for speed, especially with our big boys on the d-line controlling the middle. Nobody runs on Michigan. Except maybe
Troy Smith. Smith is the presumptive Heisman winner this year, mostly because he makes highlight-reel plays and is the most like Vince Young. He's short on class, not the brightest bulb in the stadium, and probably coked out of his gourd as I write this, but there's no denying he's got a rocket for an arm and a V6 in his hips. Matched against him, however, is the best linebacker in the country, David Harris. When Michigan suddenly solved its problem with running quarterbacks and screen plays in 2005, the reason was Harris. He's fast, smart, and doesn't miss a tackle. Harris can keep Smith contained if he runs. But there's nothing we can do about those plays where Troy gets away from a rush end and a blitzing linebacker, then throws a rope to an open receiver 50 yards down-field. Fortunately, we'll sack him just as often. Advantage: WASH

OSU Receivers v. U-M Secondary:

This matchup is interesting because both squads are way underrated. The star here is the Buckeyes' Ted Ginn, who's like Steve Breaston in fast-forward and if he learned to catch the ball. But OSU still doesn't know how to use Ginn. They do know how to make use of Anthony Gonzalez, and I think he's up for a big day. Leon Hall our Thorpe candidate, will be busy with Ginn, but that means Willis Barringer, Ryan Mundy/Jamar Adams and Morgan Trent are left with Gonzalez, Rory Nicol and Brian Robiske, all guys with the right hands to catch Smith's bullets. The Wolverines' backs are all good players, but get a bad rap because teams would throw 50 times against them every game (what, you gonna run instead?) I think this is another perfect matchup. Advantage: WASH.

OSU Special Teams v. U-M Special Teams:

Ted Ginn, as I said, is slightly better than Breaston. Garrett Rivas, however, is a much more solid than Aaron Pettrey, the Buckeyes' freshman kicker. A.J. Trapasso is a good punter, but he doesn't have the leg of Zoltan Mesko. Then again, Mesko doesn't have A.J.'s accuracy, which is big when you're punting to a Ginn/Breaston kind of guy. Advantage: OSU

U-M Offensive Line v. OSU Defensive line:

When Michigan goes to the trenches, the unquestioned leader is Jake Long, the best tackle we've had at this school since 2000. After Long, however, there's a big dropoff. Reuben Riley got hurt and hasn't played as well since. We've been moving Alex Mitchell to right tackle and putting in freshman Justin Boren at guard. Adam Kraus is solid. Mark Bihl, however, I think gets beat too often. On the other side of the ball, the Buckeyes are similarly young. Vernon Gholston, David Patterson, Quinn Pitcock and Jay Richardson are all cut from the same big, strong mold. We're not going to dominate them up front like we have with other teams, but you won't see them beat us here either, except once or twice for the weekly pathetic Henne sack. Very few teams blitzed much against us, since Henne always has an outlet pass in our offense. When they do, the Wolverines are great at picking it up (most of the Henne sacks have been coverage) Advantage: MICHIGAN, because they don't have an answer for Long.

U-M backfield v. OSU linebackers:

The Buckeyes graduated the best linebacking group in college football history, but the guys behind them have been mighty, mighty good. James Laurinaitis leads the pack. A Butkus finalist, he's a hugely talented player who can shut down our running game the way Penn State's defense did, and is great in coverage. John Kerr and Marcus Freeman are also tough players. Chad Henne, however, is a darn good quarterback. He's not a big running threat, mostly because if he gets hurt we don't have a backup for him. But he can throw lasers and perfect bombs and runs the roll-out better than any other QB in the game. He's a smart kid. However, it's not Henne who makes the backfield of the Wolverines, but Michigan's best player, and a guy who doesn't get nearly enough credit: the soul of our team, Mike Hart. Hart has no quit. He's got a great eye for holes and a great burst, and great strength, and is the kind of running back who can sustain long drives. Kevin Grady was great to have as a one-two punch, but he might still be injured. Brandon Miner, the freshman sensation, isn't Grady, but he's a good one. I don't see him beating OSU's linebackers, but this is Hart's game. Advantage: MICHIGAN

U-M Receivers v. OSU Backfield:
Here's another strength-on-strength matchup. OSU has some VERY talented guys in the backfield, including Antonio Smith and Malcolm Jenkins on the corners, Brandon Mitchell at strong safety, and perhaps one of the most talented players in the game in free safety Jamario O'Neal. O'Neal is the guy who makes you pay if you come in like a deep-passing moron a la Firentz or John L. Smith. He's also the guy you can embarrass with curl routes, or run over with a good back. In other words, PLAY
CONSERVATIVE!!! For Michigan, Mario Manningham has been working his way back, but I think he's more of a decoy than the super threat he was before his surgury. Don't tell OSU that. If he really is as 100-percent as Lloyd's been saying, then this guy is Larry Fitzgerald and so long Buckeyes. Otherwise, Michigan has a fantastic big target in Adrian Arrington, who came alive this year, and Steve Breaston, if he's catching the ball, certainly has potential. I think Carl Tabb has a big catch left in him. And at tight end, Carson Butler emerged from the shadows of Mike Massey and Tyler Ecker as a passing option, but Ecker has made a career with big grabs on 3rd and long. Advantage: with Manningham in top form, it's 2003 all over again, but if not, this is a WASH.

Ohio Stadium has not helped the Buckeyes in the past for this game. Michigan doesn't want to lose three in a row. The Buckeyes may be a little too cocky right now. They've been planning their trip to the National Championship all season whereas the Wolverines have been focusing all season on Ohio State. With virtually the same team last year, Michigan led all game only to be beat in the final minutes. This team is better conditioned, and motivated like hell by last season's embarrassment in the Big House. Advantage: MICHIGAN

Only one guy picked Michingan No. 1 in the AP poll, and only one guy did it in the coach's poll. But Michigan beat Notre Dame, a great team with tne loss. And Michigan beat Wisconsin, a great team with one loss. Ohio State won blowout after blowout, and the only cred they get is for beating Texas in the first game of the season (and Texas, who got better as the season progressed, has another loss besides). Michigan's been roaring through the fire. Ohio State has had it too easy. They're soft. They're weak.

Get UP! It's Ohio State Weekend

GET UP! We're gonna Win this game!



GET UP!!!!!

Michigan 24, OSU 21


If Socrates was so concerned about higher passions and the higher good, then why did he waste so much time working on his abs?

NYC Edition...

Bunny!! (And her 30 pack) Posted by Picasa

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From James...

"Michigan hasn't had a losing season since 1965, when Bump Elliot went 4 and 6. However, he did win a rose bowl (not that year). Bump wasn't terrible for a UofM coach, like Harry Kipke, who sucked it up. But check out his last game against OSU:

OSU scored 50 points and beat us by 36 points. The next season they bring in Bo and he wins. Bo's legacy against OSU is pretty good, even though his rose bowl performance is less than stellar (2/8)."

Appendix A: For historical purposes check out the Michigan vs. Ohio State head to head stats.

Appendix B: Also check out the history of every Michigan game and season since David N. DeTarr led the Wolverines to a 1-0 victory over Racine on May 30, 1879.