Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, October 20, 2007


Today marks the fifth anniversary of the formation of the Monkey Republic. This year instead of a show of military strength, Mr. Mojo insisted that the parade highlight the benefits of republican rule. The parade made its way through the neighborhood (unfortunaely the little guys had to use their wagon), and eventually wound up back at my house. There Mr. Mojo gave a speech condemning democracy...

"Philosopher King Mojo good. Me smart monkey. Me know what best for all monkeys. Today world say democracy good. World say democracy make peace and happy happy candy. But Mr. Mojo know this not true. Democracy will of all monkeys. All monkeys have different will. Different will bad for monkey government and bad for monkeys. Without Philosopher King republic become anarchy and chaos. Anarchy and chaos hurt monkeys. It make Mojo sad.

Only Monkey Republic know best. Lord Grumpington want guns. Lady Sassafrass want hugs. But only Mr. Mojo know right number of guns and hugs for monkey citizens. Mr. Mojo says republic best monkey government ever ever ever."

Afterwards they all came inside for a feast of fruit and candy. I even saw Lord Grumpington crack a smile as he admitted that the Republic was indeed better than the Oligarchy during Mr. Mojo's exile in New York. However Paddington put it best as he hugged the stove with a delightful giggle:

"Long live Republic!"


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