Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Monday, December 03, 2007

THE OBVIOUS CHOICE

I come to bury Les Miles, not to praise him. While the evil coaches do live after them, Tondar has found the perfect candidate to coach Michigan football from the depths of Il Purgatorio d'Lloyd. When you think about it, he is the obvious choice since with the passing of Bo, he has become the most loved man on campus. Of course I am talking about a true Michigan man, a student of 15 languages, a teacher of such devotion that he makes Lloyd Carr look like some bottom feeding asshole, a two time associate chair of the English Department, and 9 time coach professor of the year. Yes I am talking about the great Ralph Williams.

For those of you that may not be familiar with Ralph, simply watch the man in action. He is a candidate that both Tondar and Seth can support as he will most certainly carry on the intellectual and academic traditions that make the Michigan difference. Imagine a Michigan team that will go to visit SEC country and teach literature to poor ignorant southerners that don't know Henry IV from Henry VI. A team that will unleash a football apocalypse the likes of which would make Michelangelo cringe as Big Ten opponents are consumed at every game by linemen crunching rivals in the manner of a brake, so that all 10 other schools be tormented thus. Down our victorious chins would trickle the tears and bloody-drivel of Ohio State. Head Coach Williams would make Michigan football a well rounded specimen of both athletic and academic power the likes of which college football has never seen. Can you just imagine how dumbstruck with envy Lou Holtz, and Lee Corso would be?

If you still need proof just look at his resume. This is a Michigan man for football season!

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