Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

QUOTE OF THE MOMENT

Tres: "Get that BUS off the field!"
QUOTE OF THE MOMENT

Tondar: "You know how sphynx's are? I like their butts."
QUOTE OF THE MOMENT

Tres: "What is Frank's lame excuse for not making it to Tonnaroo II?"

Tondar: "Work or something."
PIC OF THE DAY


Where the west curve meats the east curve, that's where utility is maximized. Posted by Picasa
I DUB THEE SIR TURD OF BURGLAR

From Pigpen...

"I guess it's his choice to be picky when it comes to women, but to have the audacity to sue a dating service that is doing just exactly that - performing a service - is completely stupid. It's not like he built the chick from Weird Science so that she could teach him how to not be a dork. I'm thinking about his claims and I'm perplexed as to how the agency was actually supposed to filter clients to match his (apparently obvious) tastes. I don't think they have a mind reader on staff."


I could see him wanting out of the contract after discovering the women are all bigguns and trolls. But I would assume that there is a critical mass in the dating pool. Secondly, I would expect lower expectations moving out of the Miami area. You don't go from California to Michigan and expect the same quality. Thus, what exactly did he expect in Orlando?

I just hope we don't see Frank doing this sort of thing in another 10 years. Though I have to admit sometimes the economics of dating are lost on the ladies...

"I can't sit here and look at any of my members and be like, Oh my gosh, you are so fat! I don't know how anybody could make fun of somebody and talk about their socioeconomic status and their weight."


I can just see Frank saying: "I said no fatties! That's 50 fatties! Can't you count? Given their girth, socio-economic status, and lack of Asian persuasion, these women are all below GS demarcation and I demand my money back! The economic utility derived from these women does not come close to matching the money I poured into this service. I would be better off spending my money on Hamms and hookers!"
FRIDAY NIGHT LYRICS

Sometimes your best just ain't good enough...

Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me
By Steve Clark, Phil Collen, Joe Elliott, Robert John "Mutt" Lange, Rick Savage

Step inside, walk this way
You and me babe, Hey, hey!

Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man?
Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light
Television lover, baby, go all night
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah

Hey!
C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet yeah

Listen! red light, yellow light, green-a-light go!
Crazy little woman in a one man show
Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love
Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up

You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little
Tease a little more
Easy operator come a knockin' on my door
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet yeah

[guitar solo]

You got the peaches, I got the cream
Sweet to taste, saccharine
'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet
From my head, my head, to my feet

Do you take sugar? one lump or two?

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough
Pour some sugar on me
Oh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
Get it, come get it
Pour your sugar on me
Ooh
Pour some sugar on me
Yeah! Sugar me!


They're no Duran Duran, but I didn't really have a choice in the matter.
YOUTUBE OF THE WEEK

It may be a sad day in Middle Earth since Peter Jackson ain't gettin' paid and is being black balled from making the Hobbit. On the other hand, it doesn't seem to bother those funky elves much...

Friday, January 12, 2007

THE PROBLEM WITH OPEN SOURCE INFORMATION

If you have ever seen the Wikipedia, it can be a handy resource. But as Tondar is fond of pointing out, sometimes things on the internet are just not true or relevant. In the case of Wikipedia, anybody is allowed to update the information on the site. Sometimes it's true. Sometimes it's not. And sometimes you just can't get your head around it. For example, check out the entry for Osmodiar.

But if anything can be said, I guess the lesson here folks is to grab up the real estate while it's still available.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

PIC OF THE DAY


2006, the year of the blackhole ended with Tondar and Heather crashing before 11pm on December 31st. All hail 2007, the year of the Supernova. Posted by Picasa
TENNESSEE WORD OF THE DAY

hoockie-poohs - (n) a variety of disease that results in "it coming out of both ends."

[Origin: Knox County in Eastern Tennessee]
FIRE LLOYD CARR PART III

The wrath of James...

"The case against Carr: A rebuttal.

This year served to demonstrate, more than ever, how much Michigan needs a new head coach. The fundamental flaw with Lloyd Carr is that he plays to not lose. This was clearly demonstrated with Michigan’s losses, not just this season but historically under Carr, which leads to loses in big games where play calling really matters.

The most glaring loss this year that served to remind us why we need a new head coach was to USC in the Rose Bowl. To say that Michigan was up against superior talent is just plain wrong. At the half, the two teams were tied 3-3. This score reflected two equally talented teams running similar strategies both on offense and defense. Michigan and USC both prepared to stop the running game. Both teams succeeded in that regard. And while during the half USC prepared to concentrate on offense that worked by throwing the ball, Michigan stubbornly stuck with a strategy that didn’t work; running to set up the pass. USC decided to throw the ball, because it was the only thing to get yards. Why throw a sideline pass to such a talented receiver team? No deep routes to Arrington, Manningham, or Breaston? They didn’t change strategy to shotgun passes until the game was already lost. Meanwhile USC was able to pick apart our immensely simplistic offensive strategy; handoff left, handoff right, deep drop back pass. They had a 30% chance of guessing our play through sheer blind luck. This is clear evidence of losing to superior coaching, but it doesn’t stop there.

Rewind to the last Rose Bowl and you will see a similar pattern emerge. Michigan lost to Texas in the last second of play by one point. How many times did Lloyd try to run the ball to burn up the clock instead of trying to throw downfield and score another point? Ok, how about our 7-5 season last year? Didn’t we lose to a Notre Dame team that hasn’t won a bowl game since 1994? Didn’t we lose every other game that year by one touchdown or less? If Lloyd would have been more aggressive on offense, we could have won every one of those games despite riding the injury train that season. When it comes down to it, it’s the play calling of the coach that is hampering us.

The evidence of conservative Carr playing to "not lose" is everywhere. Take, for example, the OSU game. 4th and 1, and you punt. It is the 4th quarter and we are losing. A penalty gives us the first down. Instead of a handoff to Hart or Minor, it is a bunch of sideline passes that come up with 4th and 1 again. With nothing to lose on your own 40 do you punt or do you give it to Hart to run down the side for 3 easy ones? Of course if you play to lose then you punt, which they did, and lose we did.

In fact, this is a pattern with scary face. His conservative calling has lead the team to crap the bed in the last 4 bowl games. With the exception of USC’s 2003 Rose Bowl team, there is really no question that Michigan was equally as talented a team, or that every loss in the last 2 years was winnable. Was it impossible to beat Texas? Clearly every game in the 05 season was winnable. Was one more touchdown against OSU a possibility? Or how about throwing against USC? Why did we not break out the shotgun and rollout in the last Rose Bowl until the 4th quarter?

With the question of recruiting, that is also something that can be blamed squarely on Lloyd Carr. Remember where our last 2 Heisman winners originated? Ohio. And who recruited them? Not Lloyd. So it is not as if Michigan is trying to lure Sun Belt superstars and failing due to inclement weather. Michigan once recruited top notch talent from all over, including our southern rival. If we dutifully examine Michigan’s record under Lloyd, we can see that his wins are through sheer talent. Is there any question that Michigan was the superior team in terms of talent against all of its foes this season? Was Notre Dame our equal? Was Iowa a contender?

On the talent note, one should also examine the effect of coaching on the talent. Surely we all saw Tom Brady’s talent during his tenure as QB. One has to wonder if Braylon Edwards, Steve Breaston, or Mario Manningham wouldn’t be Heisman winners if their talent was more thoroughly employed. Instead it is the same old story; run to set up the pass.

The question then becomes; if not Lloyd, then whom? Historically, Michigan’s best coaches came from outside the program. Bo Schembechler, Fritz Crisler, and Fielding Yost all came from outside the state and from previous head coaching experience. When viewed in this light, there are many candidates. LSU’s head coach Les Miles got his start under Bo and has a stipulation in his contract that goes: if you leave before the contract expires, you forfeit 500k. If you leave to Michigan, you forfeit 1 million. It sounds like he wants to come up north to me. Other candidates include Mount Union’s talented head coach and our own Ron English. Or to restate the obvious, plenty of talent abounds if one chooses to look.

Talented coaching then, is what is needed if the mediocrity of the last 6 years is to be stopped. Michigan has not competed in a BCS national championship game since the BCS was started some ten years ago. I submit that next year’s team has the potential to be a national championship team, but the only thing stopping it from achieving that potential is Lloyd Carr. Chad Henne has the potential that we saw in Tom Brady. We have talented receivers, and stalwart runners. That means we can either use the same predictable formula of running to set up the pass and hope you can out talent every aspect of the opponent’s defense, or you can run when you must and throw when you must to exploit weaknesses in opposing defenses. Lloyd stopped this team from a solid finish by blowing the last 2 games of the season. But if you examine his record, that’s what he’s good at. He is 1-5 against OSU and 1-5 in bowl games the last 6 years. This isn’t a slump. This is a wake up call.


BTW - Be sure to check out that must-read from the LATimes. James is becoming the Instapundit of the the anti-Carr blogosphere.
MAN, BUCKEYES ARE DUMB

From Seth...

"Students Kept Filling Crowded Elevator

(AP) - COLUMBUS, Ohio-Students piling onto a crowded elevator car at Ohio State University may have encouraged still more people to enter, according to a final police report on an accident that killed one of the students when he tried to crawl out of the car after it stopped between floors.

While students didn't intend to overload the elevator it quickly began to fill as more and more people arrived, the report by the campus police department said.

"Some people may have been holding the doors open to allow more people to enter, and were possibly encouraging more to step onto the elevator," the report said.

Andrew Polakowski, 18, a freshman from Erie, Pa., was killed Oct. 20 when he was pinned between the top of the elevator doors and the third floor.

Polakowski had been drinking before the accident but didn't appear intoxicated, the report said.

The elevator was crowded with 24 people, exceeding its weight capacity by as much as 1,100 pounds, and began to descend with its doors open.

The elevator failed brake tests conducted later and could not hold its 2,500-pound weight limit, state investigators have found."

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

PIC OF THE DAY

It might as well be a shiny spinning wheel of bright colors because there is no way I am going to be able to resist this siren's song.
JAMES ON THE ROSE BOWL

If you didn't see it on his blog, be sure to check out James' thoughts on the Carr's Rose Bowl debacle. In addition, be sure to check out the must-read Michael Rosenberg story that explains how Michigan simply got outcoached.
FIRE LLOYD CARR PART II

The Rose Bowl was the last straw. I was able to dismiss the Ohio State game as a bitter defeat in a close game. In retrospect, one can certainly second guess some of the decisions. However, to go after Carr seems too vindictive since the Wolverines only lost by 3. Even for somebody that was all up ons the bandwagon prior to the Notre Dame game, the loss was hard to swallow, but at least made some sense.

After going to California to witness Carr blow the third Rose Bowl in four year, my patience is exhausted. Three things are obvious. First, Carr cannot win big games. This has been made clear given Carr's record in recent bowl games and against the big time regulars, Notre Dame and Ohio State. The bowl games are a national showcase that the rest of the nation take seriously. On the other hand, Ohio State and Notre Dame are 2 of the top programs in the country. Sure Notre Dame always ends up over their head in bowl games. But the Catholics always know how to prepare for their showdown with Scary Face to prove that their over-rated to the rest of the nation.

Second, Carr has become John Cooper. John Cooper was a great coach at tOSU. However, he went 2-9-1 against Michigan and was eventually fired because he embarrassed Ohio in their most bitter rivalry. Carr was great against Cooper. However, now that Jim Tressel has taken over, he has owned Carr winning 4 of the last 5. This is just downright sad and unacceptable.

Third and finally, Carr is too conservative for his own good. I understand the concept of calculated risk. However, when one doesn't even calculate risk there will be no reward. The obvious consequence is that Carr plays not to lose instead of to win. Against inferior opponents this is fine. However, when one goes against the big hitters of college football like Cheaty McSweatervest, Pete Carroll, Charlie Weiss, or even Bob Stoops and Urban Whiner (now), Carr repeatedly finds himself being outcoached. The best and most recent example was the Rose Bowl. Carr and Mike DeBord came out with the typical Michigan game plan of cramming the run down their opponents throat. After the first half played out to a 3-3 stalemate, Pete Carroll went into the locker-room and like he always does, changes up the offense to stick their opponent for 30 points in the second. This is nothing new for Pete Carroll. However, Michigan should have KNOWN THIS WAS COMING and ADJUSTED more accordingly. Furthermore, an extension of this is the fact that Michigan came out flat. While most of the Rose Bowl was full of Trojan supporters, Michigan had a strong vocal contingent. But if one watched the sideline, Southern Cal was fired up, screaming and yelling, and generally boisterous. Michigan was subdued, quiet, with their shoulders hanging low. Tondar screamed, but unfortunately, the force of my will was not strong enough to overcome the lethargy with which the Wolverines came.

Now everybody, is talking about next year. But until, Michigan fires Lloyd Carr look for 2007 to be a return to the status quo with 4 losses which include the big games against Notre Dame, Ohio State, the Bowl game, and a team to be named at a later date (probably Penn St or Michigan St).

Fire Lloyd Carr NOW! (or allow him to resign for "health" or "family" reasons)

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

PIC OF THE DAY


Tondar knows how to impress the ladies. Posted by Picasa
LOGORRHEA MADDEN STYLE

Seth fwd this one to me...

How the hell does he find his way to work once a week?!?


He has a bus that takes him to work and picks him up when it's all done. Think of it like a multi-million dollar Hope Network Crew.

All of these quotes are actual sentences (or attempts at sentences) spoken by madden during the broadcast. None of these are exaggerated in anyway.


They have to tackle with a gaggle.

Holy Moly, he knocked him right outta frame.

I always wanted a Crumpler on my team.

That’s why you can’t let out all your hose til you know where the fire is.

That’s the old key breaker again.

That’s gonna be a band-aid.

Well that’s, that’s, that’s, no that’s about, that’s about, what they do. You know, you know that a guy has about 3 Mississippi’s, 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, and if I’m not there put my hands up.

A Crooner was the, ya know, the smooth guy, the smooth voice guy, I mean those kinda guy. I mean even on radio anymore you don’t get the crooners. There’s an old crooner right there.

You look at Warrick Dunn, and you know well you always talk about, and you know I mean there’s not much to him, where’s the guy? I mean there oughtta be some more guy around there.

Do you know your colors? Like if you mix, if you mix.... A before E. Ya, ya, if, if you were to mix the color yellow with the color red, what color do you get? [(Al Michaels): Orange?] No. Green. Ya, I did, I did it during halftime, when you were doin’ that thing, and I got that color right there. I spilled mustard on my red tie, and it turned green. Yellow and Red do does equal green. I found it. I tried it. I did it. It was right here, a big green spot right here. And you see the green in here? That’s what it was, its just a red tie. Spilled a glob of mustard right here, yellow. And then and they tried to take it off and all that stuff, and you can see it turns green. Ya, it’s a lime green. But I didn’t, I didn’t know, I mean, I probably, ya know, we probably learned that mix in college somewhere.

That’s what you call when your lids get heavy.

That’ll get under the guys beak.

Madden: Well the best thing would be a touchdown, the worst thing would be a turnover and a field goal is in the middle...
Michaels: Thank you for teaching me football and math at the same time john i am now aware the 7 is better than 3 and 3 is better than 0...sheer brilliance

Al micheals ~ "the punters arnt going to even need to take a shower after this game because they havnt been in"
John Madden ~ "the teams havnt had to punt"

With all his tumid boasts, he's like the sword-fish, who only wears his weapon in his mouth.

A team should never practice on a field that is not lined. Your players have to become aware of the field's boundaries

Not only do you get a first down, but you get a whole new set of downs!
THE EXODUS ROLLS ON THROUGH 2006

From the Freep via Ben...

Not once since 1977, when the company began tracking the data, has Michigan had more customers moving into the state than exiting it. But the 66% departure rate was just below Michigan's highest departure level of 66.9%, in 1981.

David Corrigan, president of Farmington Hills-based Corrigan Moving Systems, which is affiliated with United Van Lines, said the economy and the weather are the biggest factors in why people are leaving. "It's definitely gotten worse," he said. "If people are looking for a job, they tend to have to go to another state to find one."


Straight up, that is why Tres and I are carpetbagging it in the Dirty South.

Monday, January 08, 2007

PIC OF THE DAY


The irony of Ohio State colors should not be lost on anybody given this sentence. Posted by Picasa
FIRE LLOYD CARR PART I

Sethian Apologetics...

"Carr should keep his job because he's one of the best coaches in college football and runs one of the best programs in college football. This year his Wolverines went 11-2, went toe-to-toe with the presumptive national champions, then just got out-played and out-talented in the bowl game. He's the man in this program. Letting him go would be like firing Vito Corleone because he lost a round to Bruno Tattalia.

He's the reason why 7-5 is anathema to us, why we were convinced we could beat USC even though they've been pulling the top classes in the country five years running.

Give Ohio State and USC their due. They beat us years ago when they out-recruited us for the nation's top talent. Those guys who demolished our offensive line in the Rose Bowl all had offers to play in Ann Arbor, but they went for the program where Reggie Bush can work his summers at the sports agency that bought his parents a house and eventually represented him in the NFL. And the reason our o-line couldn't step up to them was because we got Alex Mitchell and Adam Kraus and Mark Bihl when Ohio State's offensive linemen turned us down to go to the school that set Maurice Clarrett up in a summer internship at a car dealership to "test" their rides. Carr's boys? You see 'em at Fingerle Lumber and Bell's Pizza and that airport down Washtenaw.

Carr gets his share of blue chippers, but not as many as OSU since their '02 national championship and not as many as USC since they started their runs. And because he runs a clean program, he avoids a lot of the personality problems that come out at OSU, USC or Miami. Pete Carroll has to spend an awful lot of time keeping his players away from the Hollywood celebrity parties (and he often fails). Half of Tressel's job is keeping guys like Troy Smith out of jail. But name another school that competes at such a level that has to over half its recruiting out of state? Miami and Notre Dame, right? Would you trade their records between 1994 and today with ours? That's right. Carr's the best.

Year in, year out, Michigan competes for a national championship. As I've said before, we're a team of 4-stars, with a spattering of 5-stars and 3-stars. We're sustainably good, with minor peaks and valleys depending on whether stars emerge. The USC party will chill, just as the parties at Florida State and Miami and Nebraska and Notre Dame and Oklahoma have demurred. So will the Ohio State one, although perhaps not for a few years.

We could have won one this year. One less miracle throw by Troy Smith, one more broken tackle for Hart in that game, and we'd be matched against Florida, which is an easier team to beat than USC. You can't really think that such a smidgeon of difference means we should fire Lloyd Carr. As well send Andy Reid packing for not winning a championship in Philly, despite a Superbowl appearance and making it to all those NFC championship games.

What should Michigan do? Pull a rabbit out of their hat? Do you want Larry Coker? He's available. Of course, that's because he ran the dirtiest program known to man, and was run out of Miami after his goonish players started a brawl that sealed their reputation as the least classy in college football. Or should we pull a guy from the Div II ranks like OSU? I dunno -- is there another team like Youngstown State that's been dominating Div II football for years? No, there isn't. Is there a Bob Stoops around? No, there isn't. Pete Carroll, or Mack Brown? Those guys are products of their respective towns (as was Coker). We're not Texas terrible, and neither are we livin' large in L.A. Rather, we're a proud, smart, classy, understated group of guys from the Midwest. We're a Lloyd Carr kind of program.

Next year, Chad Henne and Mike Hart will be seniors, with the entire offensive returning except Reuben Riley and Tyler Ecker (and Justin Boren started half the games for Riley this year). So next year, DeBord will look smarter. If he doesn't, I wouldn't be adverse to looking for another O-coordinator. Maybe Jim Harbaugh would give up Stanford to come back home.

As for defense, I think Ron English will look worse next year than he did this year, but he's still a brilliant coach. His blitzing overwhelmed teams that didn't have future NFL receivers and Heisman candidate quarterbacks this year, but in '07 we lose Woodley, Biggs, Burgess, Mundy, Hall, and our best player, Dave Harris. Perhaps Alan Branch too. Crable and Harrison will step up, I think, and you'll see more of Chris Graham (who reminds me of Larry Foote), but the big horses on D will be sorely missed and there aren't a lot of blue chippers behind them except maybe Jonas Mouton (a safety). Tim Jamison is a potential Woodley replacement, but more of a Pierre Woods than Lamarr Woodley. There's some talented young guys, though, like Adam Patterson, Eugene Germany, and Brandon Graham (Chris' little brother).

Anyway, next year we're going to look a lot like that 2000 team, heavy on offense, but with CBs Morgan Trent and Charles Stewart playing the roles of Todd Howard and James Whitley, respectively. Fortunately, there's no Drew Brees or Randy Smith in the way in 2007, so as long as Henne (Henson) doesn't get hurt in the pre-season and we have to go with Redshirt freshman David Cone (a Navarre clone) against our first ranked opponent.

With such an offense, and such a defense, we could win the national championship or lose up to four games. I'll tell you now, though: we WILL beat Ohio State. Carr won't make guarantees, but I will."


But Seth, what about the game day tactics that everyone has been criticizing?

"The coaches really get too much credit for that. Yes, tactics do mean something, but in football (and war, actually), execution is so much more important. This is especially true in college football, where you're replacing at least 25 percent of your starters every season, and those starters are all 18- to 22-year-olds.

DeBord designed a check-off offense that's leagues more complicated than most any other you'll see in college football, and did so because he's got the quarterback - Henne - who has the experience to read the defense and check down to the right sub-play. If you think we're predictable, did you miss that USC had just two running plays they used the whole time? Or how OSU's spread offense had the slant-and-ups and the curls play and that was it? Or how Texas won the national championship last season with a minimalist playbook that basically just bought time for Vince Young to make a play?

Offense is about execution, not fancy crap. That's especially true when you're facing a team that's blitzing a lot. You beat the blitz by using the plays you know best, because those are the plays where you know where your receivers are going to be.

We were getting pummelled on the offensive line in the Rose Bowl, but we didn't have much more to throw at them. When Ecker stayed in to block, we had too few receivers. And we couldn't split out Hart because he had to stay home already. So he stayed how we were, giving Henne at least a chance to throw the ball. I think he was going down too readily, though. Henne, not Carr, was the one being over-careful in the 1st half, taking the 2nd down sack instead of making a play or throwing the ball at someone's back. That led to too many 3rd-and-long plays and gave away our pass offense too early in the game. Hart was running fine in the 1st half -- it's just those 2nd down sacks that killed us."
PIC OF THE DAY


Things went much better the last time we did karaoke. Of course, this time we didn't have the help of Calimatxo. Posted by Picasa

Sunday, January 07, 2007

KARAOKE TRAIN WRECK

I was surprised last night to find that Miss Olivia had signed Tondar, Tres, Miss Ashley Carol and herself up to sing Def Leopard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me." What made it even more of a surprise is that I don't know the words and am only vaguely familiar with their work. Although, I distinctly recall hearing that "THE DRUMMER FROM DEF LEOPARD ONLY HAS ONE ARM." But anyways, to make it worse, neither Ashley Carol or Tres knew the song either. Plus, they are both shy delicate flowers that wilt in the stagelight. Thus the singing fell upon ignant ole Tondar.

While Olivia could at least see the lyrics and follow along Tondar, couldn't even do that. Yet due to the awkward silence of our performance I began making up non-words to scat along...

You gotta beata botta, she bah dah bah
Soba dah dah
Scomin' on a Skeeba dobba bo bo fo
Sugar so feeba dah come on y'all
Feetah mah soba dah sugar oh yeah


Yes it was a trainwreck, but I figured if I simply mumbled I could at least fake my way through it. I honestly can't remember being that embarrassed. Not that it's getting me down or that I've spent the day weeping in remorse. But I kind of understand how Ashley Simpson feels and can understand why even Phil Collins performs with a teleprompter.

But anyways, here for the kids: let's learn it, know it, and love it for next time...

Step inside, walk this way
You and me babe, Hey, hey!

Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man?
Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light
Television lover, baby, go all night
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah

Hey!
C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet yeah

Listen! red light, yellow light, green-a-light go!
Crazy little woman in a one man show
Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love
Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up

You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little
Tease a little more
Easy operator come a knockin' on my door
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet yeah

[guitar solo]

You got the peaches, I got the cream
Sweet to taste, saccharine
'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet
From my head, my head, to my feet

Do you take sugar? one lump or two?

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough
Pour some sugar on me
Oh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
Get it, come get it
Pour your sugar on me
Ooh
Pour some sugar on me
Yeah! Sugar me!


2006 SUCKY YEAR IN REVIEW

Monkey Of The Year

In a year that saw the Monkey Republic move once again, it was difficult to choose one monkey of the year. However, during the period of transition it was Reina Sofia Bombonita that calmed monkeys and helped them through the 4 hour crisis of a drive from Atlanta to Nashville. When we arrived, she took a leadership role and became a valuable assistant to both Lady Sassafrass and Duchessa Viola.

When I announced this to the full Republic there was much rejoicing. Even Paddington celebrated by hugging a TV tray. I guess he approves.
PIC OF THE DAY


"And his studies were so thorough and intelligent that in his mind's eye he could see Rome as it had stood before it fell into ruins." Posted by Picasa