Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Friday, March 30, 2007


Rebuke The Demons...

"I don't like this little gay thing he's got going on."

"If you wanna go to hell, you go on your own!"


The Baron of Atlanta got himself a haircut today. All hail the new-look Tondar!

As the 2007 Red Wings rise up and defeat the Nashville Predators in their latest "rivalry" (and I use that word loosely), let us look back to a more simple time, when good was good, and evil was LeMieux. Back when the NHL was still exciting to watch and the great teams were in great cities. Yes, let us look all the way back to March 26, 1997 when the Red Wings came of age and defeated the Colorado Avalanche 6-5 in probably the greatest Wings game of our lifetime.

My absolute favorite moment was when Shanahan and Roy collide at full speed and begin brawling at center ice, while Claude LeMieux is turtled beneath the pumeling of my boy Darren McCarty. You can't HELP but get fired up watching this.

Hat-tip to seth.

Thursday, March 29, 2007


And what you say about his company
Is what you say about society.
Catch the mist, catch the myth
Catch the mystery, catch the drift.

Motivational Speaker: "Now take your glass of wine and stand in front of the mirror butt-nekid and ask yourself, "Would I have sex with this person?"

Tondar's co-worker: "HELL NO! He's a dude!"

Clear the decks! Clear the tracks!
You've got nothing to do but relax.
Blow a kiss. Take a bow.
Honey, everything's coming up roses!

Well with the big boy house in posession, today was a great day. Not only are things starting to pick up at my job, but I also have secured an interview for Monday to return to the foreclosure game. It's funny how things work out sometimes. Now normally, I'm not one to get all optimistic. I take life as it rolls. However, this douchebagging job of mine has taught me the power of positive thinking, so I am going to run with it. On top of that, they recently sent us to see a motivational speaker. Sure we were supposed to apply his lessons and principles to the mortgage industry. But in true Bill Clinton fashion, I have internalized the lessons and plan on applying them towards my job search and interview.

Honey, everything's coming up Tondar. Carpe diem!!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Seth has recently invited himself down to Nashville for the weekend of April 14th. So if this is going to happen, it will have to be done properly, and I demand that all Five Horsemen of the Apocalypse join us. But you ask, "Tondar where in Middle Tennessee can we find that much evil?" To which I can only say...

Drink up me hardies, YO-HO!

Don't worry kids, you know that I'm not kidding, but we all know that the weekend will be spent in the Wussy Wagon slowly making consecutive left turns in the parking lot honoring Seth. The last of the Knights Tondar were killed off during the Third Crusade. Nobody can ride with the Dar, so why get our hopes up? Aim low and maybe we will get a game of paddy cake and some tapioca outta the weekend (you keep your money, Big Lots has it cheap).
1 OR 4

From Seth...

The Red Wings are in a race for the top seed.

Both with 103 points, the Red Wings and Predators are on top of the NHL. The winner of the division will most likely get the President's Trophy and home ice throughout the playoffs.

The 2nd guy, then, ends up with the 4th seed.

However, 4th might not be all that bad. The West is a tossup between the 5-7 seeds. Right now, though, the fourth seed will face 5-seeded Minnesota, a tough team, but one that I think is inherently beatable. Minneapolis also is only a 1.5 hour flight from Detroit -- one time zone away, and reachable for the traveling Red Wings nation. But we also could end up facing San Jose and Joe Thornton (a tough series), or Dallas (always a tough one). But I like Minnesota's chances: of the 6 games they have left, 5 are at home, and they're up by 1 point. Dallas has a game in hand over SJ and Min.

But those are all better matchups than 8-seeded Calgary -- an 8-hour flight West in Pacific time to face a bunch of guys who'd rather injure you than hold onto the puck. I'd hate to face the Flamers again, since they're probably the biggest cheats in the game. You KNOW the refs are going to let them get away with murder again -- they've been letting all sorts of hooking and interference and such go in recent weeks already. It seems ridiculous that a team's fortunes would be dictated by whether or not the refs force the opposing team to play by the rules, but there it is.

The Avs were making a push for Calgary's spot, but they're 5 points behind -- pretty tough odds for 2 weeks.

If we went to Seth's playoff format, of course, the Wings wouldn't have reason to tank away from the president's cup.

So Seth, what is your format for the playoffs, have them play hockey instead of grabass?

This is for my five-division set.

Top 8 teams make the playoffs (5 div champions plus 3 best after that).

1st overall drafts their opponent from playoff eligible teams. Then 2nd overall drafts any team but 3rd overall. Then 3rd overall drafts its team, and the 4th guy takes what's left.

Teams can draft any team they want. So if Nashville wants to play Buffalo, they can do that, and then Detroit gets the next pick. Sucks for Buffalo? Oh well -- win the President's Trophy!!!

If you expand it to a full league/16 team format, teams 1-4 and division champions are considered "bid teams" which cannot be selected as opponents. So Detroit can't choose to face Minnesota, but it can snag the Islanders or Senators, thus negating those teams' opportunities to pick their opponents when their turn comes up. Sucks? Oh well -- win your division!!!

Don't tell Olivia, but I didn't really get drunk and fall down in my kitchen.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


It seems Tondar has found himself a mistress. Don't tell my apartment, but today during work I snuck off to my house where I proceeded to eat cookies, study art, and take a nap. Sure I may have simply been sprawled across the floor, resting my head on a pile of towels. And to think I purchased this den of vice for a little over $122,000 Trust me, having a house so close to work is wonderful. In fact, I snuck over there for two seperate naps. I'm sure my apartment would be jealous if she were to find out. But the truth is, I am planning to leave her this week anyways so that I can devote my time to the House of Dar. In the meantime, I will be introducing the nappy nap back into my daily routine for the first time since I lived in Italy.

Viva Reposo! Sono ancora Italiano.

Monday, March 26, 2007


Four years of Daily Rantations and counting. Enjoy the milestone, and stay tuned for the best years and rants are yet to come. In the meantime take a look at ten random but great moments in TDR history...

1) Frankie Goes to Hollywood

2)Toto Plays My Grandma's Den

3) Taste of that A.T.L. Style

4) Bad Day To Be Poor

5) A Harvest of REGIS

6) Richard's Riunite

7) Deal With It

8) My Monkey Friends

9) Tondar's Game

10) Tonnaroo Cometh

If you get the chance check out the latest column from Bob Novak. It seems that Bush has lost credibility even with the Republicans in Washington...

"With nearly two years remaining in his presidency, George W. Bush is alone. In half a century, I have not seen a president so isolated from his own party in Congress -- not Jimmy Carter, not even Richard Nixon as he faced impeachment.

Republicans in Congress do not trust their president to protect them. That alone is sufficient reason to withhold statements of support for Gonzales, because such a gesture could be quickly followed by his resignation under pressure. Rep. Adam Putnam (Fla.), the highly regarded young chairman of the House Republican Conference, praised Donald Rumsfeld in November only to see him sacked shortly thereafter."

Leadership is a team game. If the leader plays by his own rules, don't expect anybody else to fall in line and respect a willy-nilly authority. It's rather fitting that for all of Bush's talk about him being a uniter, the best he has done is to unite people against him. Let's hope that Congress takes this opportunity to re-establish the primacy of their authority under Article I.

It's not a good time to be in the mortgage industry. James recently found this article about the collapse of the B-C sup-prime lending market. Money quote...

"By last year, subprime loans made up 20 percent of the market for new mortgages.

But as the housing market cools, thousands of subprime borrowers are struggling to keep their homes. A number of subprime lenders, saddled by failed loans and a shortage of cash, have folded or staggered. In some particularly hard-hit neighborhoods in Denver's suburbs — one of a few metropolitan areas where the problem is especially grave — home after home sits dark."

It's rather ironic that during the period of American history when Americans gave power to people that had no business holding such responsibility, lending institutions were giving money and credit to people that had no business owning property. What does this say about the roaring 2000s? While Bush centralized the Presidency, lending was decentralized.

And how am I supposed to stay in the mortgage industry with 20% of the market going under? Maybe it's time to get back into the foreclosure game.

It's important to remember that the internet is not all fun and games and people getting popped in the junk. A great example of the dark side of the internet is The Death of a Clown. Enjoy the nightmares kids...

It's kinda like NIN meets Greenland.

Well, I'll be horn-swoggled!! Ashley Carol and Olivia went to the circus and met a clown. Be careful Olivia, if you give that Gingerbread Man some sugar he may just come home with you.

Sunday, March 25, 2007


The mask says that you have to respect him because he is the Mask of Eternal Agony and that it is a mask's perogative to change his mind at any time and if you don't like it, you had better feed the mask chocolate, flip over the fridge, and build a shrine to Captain Morgan or he will be pouty all day in spite of claiming that "nothing" is wrong.