Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, May 19, 2007


That tickles! THAT TICKLES!!

Friday, May 18, 2007


From Seth...

Well, apparently Kitna "likes what he sees" in our 1st round draft pick receiver... ummmm.. I mean the NEW one.

"He didn't break the huddle with the baffled look that most first-year guys have when they are trying to learn ... (offensive coordinator Mike) Martz's offense," he said. "Heck, there are guys who have been working on it for a year that still don't always know what to do, but Calvin knew where he was supposed to be. He's obviously been doing his homework."

So far, he's doing better than Charles Rogers, who was holding out until June.

Totally bullieveable, the Pistons have won 4 games to 2, and are now back in the Eastern Conference Finals. There's time to rest, but with Dallas gone the Pistons can no longer rely on a worn down Western Conference opponent.

Thursday, May 17, 2007


So what's next Clownhair?

From Seth...

Here's a metric for determining how successful a franchise has been:
Teams with the most draft picks and undrafted free agents on NHL rosters in 2006-07:
1. New Jersey Devils (44)
2. Detroit Red Wings (38)
The least: Dallas Stars (18)
I counted undrafted free agents because finding them is a measure of your scouting ability, and they're usually guys who are signed right after the draft.
That Detroit is No. 2 is absolutely amazing, considering the Red Wings have also had the fewest picks of any team (except expansion franchises) during the period of 1981 (when the oldest current player in the NHL was drafted) to the present, and half the 1st and 2nd round picks of most other teams.
We should also note that these two franchises have won six of the last 10 cups.
By the way, any guesses as to whom that 1981 draftee (40th overall by Montreal by the way) might be?
Red Wings draftees and undrafted FAs in the NHL:
First Last Pos. Current Team
Sean Avery C NY Rangers
Patrick Boileau D Pittsburgh
Matthieu Dandenault D/RW Montreal
Pavel Datsyuk C Detroit
Sergei Fedorov C/RW Columbus
Valterri Filpulla C/LW Detroit
Tomas Fleishmann C/LW Washington
Johan Franzen LW/C Detroit
Tomas Holmstrom RW NHL Debut
James Howard G Detroit
Jiri Hudler C/RW Detroit
Greg Johnson C/LW Nashville
Mike Knuble RW Philadelphia
Tomas Kopecky RW Detroit
Vyacheslav Kozlov LW Atlanta
Niklas Kronwall D Detroit
Maxim Kuznetsov D Los Angeles
Martin Lapointe RW Chicago
Brett Lebda D Detroit
Manny Legace G St. Louis
Niklas Lidstrom D Detroit
Darren McCarty RW Calgary
Dan McGillis D New Jersey
Derek Meech D Detroit
Mark Mowers C/RW Boston
Chris Osgood G Detroit
Keith Primeau C Philadelphia
Jamie Pushor D Columbus
Kyle Quincey D Detroit
Jamie Rivers D St. Louis
Nathan Robinson RW Boston
Mike Sillinger C/RW NY Islanders
Petr Sykora RW Nashville
Jesse Wallin D Calgary
Aaron Ward D Boston
Jason Williams C Chicago
Jason York D Boston
Henrik Zetterberg LW Detroit

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Hey buddy, hope you're having a good time in Chi-town. Get that battary charged cuz it sounds like Wisconsin is doing you no good.

Monday, May 14, 2007


So Ole Tondar talked to Miss Katherine tonight. Turns out that our old friend Monica is getting a divorce. I guess the stress of raising children got in the way of salt, sandwiches, and butter. So let's burn down the kitchen to celebrate the triumph of selfishness as we condemn these children to bed-wetting and a lifetime of self-loathing as they grow up in a broken home. Way to go! Way to dodge growed up responsibilty!

From the Sports Guy...

• From Eric in Michigan: "Why did the NBA hire the director of 'The Blair Witch Project' to shoot the playoffs? It's nauseating to have the camera in constant motion."

(Couldn't agree more. Trying to follow the action in Saturday's Spurs-Suns game made me feel like I had just dropped peyote with Tony Soprano. Did I miss the meeting where everyone decided, "Hey, the midcourt camera for NBA games just isn't cutting it anymore, our fans like it and they're used to it ... instead, let's use a really weird camera angle that makes them sick!")

I was thinking the same thing trying to follow the action from the robot camera. The only reason behind it that I could determine is that the angle is supposed to be new and exciting and exists for the sake of itself. Of course it is lame and should go away. But when is the NBA actually going to start listening to the fans?

From Seth...

Tonight starts what should be the most interesting series for the young 2007 American League season.

The Tigers bring a 23-13 record to the Fens tonight to take on the Red Sox, who lead the East (and all of baseball) at 25-11

Both teams have been hot, winning 9 of their last 11 games. The Sox, however, have mostly been doing it against their weak (at least for now) AL East -- they're 14-5 against the East and 11-6 agaist the rest of the league. The Tigers are 12-7 in the tough AL Central, and match the Sox at 11-6 in non-divisional play.

In other words, taking schedules into account the teams are virtually tied as the AL's best right now. They're also the two hottest pre-season picks for the AL pennant, so you can't say either is a fluke.

The pitching matchups make this one look even better:

The Tigers send Robertson tonight against Dice-K. This is a great contrast of American guile vs. Japanese style: the underrated, unflappable lefty cowboy who'll throw anything to anybody going up against the reserved, mega-hyped import of the year who relies on slick, unhittable pitches.

If you ever wanted to see a 50-mph difference is pitch speeds, check in Tuesday for Verlander/Wakefield -- a 24-year-old gunner who can reach 100 mph versus a 41-year-old knuckleballer whose marquee pitch has been known to flutter in at speeds as low as 49 (which, by the way, is the speed of MY fastball).

Wednesday is lefty day, with the nitpicking innings-eather Maroth coming in hot against journeyman converted-closer Julian Tavarez, whose starts have accounted for six out of Boston's 11 losses.

On Thursday, the series wraps up with the biggest contrast yet: rookie Chad Durbin versus the lofty veteran Curt Schilling. The caveat: Durbin has yet to go up against a team's marquee pitcher. The other caveat: Schilling has a history of stepping up against Cy Young winners, then losing to nobody-heard-of's.

Sunday, May 13, 2007


It won't be the first time Frank has been within property owned by my family. I just hope he leaves his "Diaper-Geisha" in LA.

James found this clip, once again proving that the further East you go, the more jacked up things become...

I didn't know whether to laugh or be afraid until fatty bit it.

From Vox Day...

Andrew Sullivan is a sinner. He knows it. I know it. But then, so am I. The only difference between the two of us in this regard is that he publicly identifies himself by one of his sins whereas I don't advertise mine with a big shining disco ball rotating to the tune of the Pet Shop Boys.

In case you're not familiar with the work of the Pet Shop Boys, I've always found "Go West" to be absolutely peachy...

Honestly though, I have to wonder how many Man-Cards I have lost for my disco ball and the lone Pet Shop Boys song that I have (Always On My Mind). Am I going to be drafted into the above pictured army? I really hope I don't have to be the one carrying the rainbow flag.