Tondar's Daily Rant

Prepare yourself for the writings of Tondar the Destroyer, Baron of Atlanta, Rightful Heir to the Throne of Spain, from whom all babies come. As his will be blogged, so let it be done.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

SETH WANTS YOU TO DRINK BEER

From Seth...

It's been seven days now, and I'm still waiting for the e-mail asking me if your water is safe.

Yes.

In case you didn't hear, the AP published a 5-month study that found a lot of pharmaceuticals in tap water. We don't test or control these things, except for a certain kind called endocrine disruptors which we've been talking a lot about ever since they started creating transsexual fish.

As usual, the AP did a fantastic job finding information that nobody wanted to give out, and published it without commentary for the good of the public.

And as usual, the public ignored 95 percent of the article, and completely ignored the follow-up responses of their elected officials and local scientists, and started freaking out about one paragraph. The mass of nitwits and nutbags who voted for Nader because Gore's environmental stance was too conservative, as expected, called for immediate controls and blamed Bush. And yes, that much greater mass of nitwits and nutbags that elected Bush twice, as expected, got as far as the headline before calling the reporters names.

What can I say: when it comes to stuff in their water, the country goes What About Bob.

What do you need to know? You're probably not in much danger, but if you are, there's nothing we can do to help you at the moment. We can't test what a cocktail of everyone's drugs is doing to people, because you have to test that on people. Best guess: there's not enough to do anything. Sometimes, there might be. For example -- I thought this particularly interesting -- Southern California has really high levels of anti-depressants in their water. Yum!

Put it this way: if you were to spend a week on the most stoner campus in the world, you would find that your drinking water has a level of THC in it. It might even get a tiny bit of THC taste in it, if you have a tongue that can taste THC (only 1 in 10 people can). However, if you found you were stoned, and you hadn't smoked, it wouldn't be from the water -- there's just not nearly enough in there.

I chose Marijuana because of the drugs that people take that could end up in drinking water, there's WAAAAAAY more THC than any other, because it's taken in high doses and is widespread.

So if you didn't get stoned brushing your teeth this morning, I'm willing to bet you won't get a porphyrine headache either.

Plus -- and OCD people should repeat this as a mantra -- your body is really really really good at handling low levels of pretty much anything. You can have low levels of radiation mixed with poison mixed with Jason's ass after three days of not showering, and not a spec of it will affect your cells.

So drink up, friends, and if anyone freaks out at you for your latest glass of agua, let 'em know that you, as a human, are equipped to handle it, and that you don't associate with weak aliens. Or tell them to read the fuckin article rather than just repeat whatever the brain-frying assbag on the radio said. Or throw the glass of water on them and be all like "ha ha now you're gonna melt!"

It's still the same water. If you want something perfectly devoid of malignant pathogens and chemicals, drink beer!

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